I don’t want to come back to take care of my old parents.

Ludmila left for Poland in the spring. The main motivation was to move to a safe place with a 10-year-old daughter. The woman has long been divorced and raising a child alone. In Ukraine, she has elderly parents who have recently spoken about the need for care. It's in front of the heroine. choiceGoing home or staying abroad with your daughter? What will choose Lyudmila, read further in the article.



My mom gave birth to me when she was 38. Being a late child means already in adolescence to think about what will happen when parents grow old. Thoughts were on me the whole time I was in university. Then I got married and started thinking more about myself.

Unfortunately, my personal life did not work out. A year after the wedding, I got pregnant, and six months later, my husband and I realized that our life together was more like torture than a happy marriage. We divorced by mutual consent, but after the birth of Nastenka, the ex seemed to be replaced.



Seryozh refused to pay alimony. He said his daughter was not his and so on. I was so disgusted that I decided not to go to court. I thought we could do it somehow. It happened. The first 3 years were very difficult. But then our lives started getting better.

My daughter is 10 years old and I am 31. When the full-scale war began, I decided to leave the country so that Nastenka would be safe. We didn’t have to think long, we went to Poland. There lived a long-time friend with whom we studied at the same university. She helped with the papers and stuff.

How to do the right thing, we adapted very quickly. My daughter and I started learning Polish together. Nastenka went to school and made new friends, and I was lucky to find a job. It’s a little small, but there’s room to grow! I thought I could give my daughter a better future. It is not clear when the war will end.



Everything was just fine until my mom started calling and complaining about her life. My father and I are not doing well and need my care and my care. Like, health's not the same anymore. My mother is 69 now. I agree, the age is serious, but, in my opinion, uncritical.

I don’t remember having any chronic illnesses or anything like that. I didn’t like this question very much. I don’t want to leave my parents either. We began to talk more often, my mother shared her fortune. And it seemed to me that the problem was not that he and his father needed care.



It's just that my mom thinks I'm never coming back. Like I left them with my dad. But it's not! I just took my daughter away from a place where she could die at any moment. Would another mother in my position have done otherwise?

In general, I have a serious choice before me: go home or stay with my daughter abroad. I am not going to leave because the war is not over. I thought about it and decided I could hire a nurse for my parents. That would solve all the questions one or two.



Except that doesn't suit my mother. She believes that nurses take money for empty words. No one will actually help her. Parents started protesting like small children. And they're not, and that's it! I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I want to help them. On the other hand, I have a daughter. And she's more important to me than anything. What about it?

Life Wisdom: What does this story teach us? The older the parents, the more likely they are to manipulate their adult children at some point. Each case is different. But the solution to these problems is always to prioritize your life and protect your boundaries.



Lyudmila is not obliged to go home and look after her parents, given the fact that she went abroad for the future of her young daughter. In addition, the woman offers a different solution to the problem. If her parents don't agree to a nurse, maybe it's something else.

What do you think about this situation?