I came to visit my son and accidentally heard the conversation of the daughter-in-law with her mother, it was hurtful.

A mother, retired or young at dawn, will always take care of her child. When a child grows up, parents always expect some feats from their child, because they put all their youth on the education and provision of everything necessary for a small person.



Children often do not meet the expectations of their parents. After all, parents always try to raise their child in the best conditions, to give everything he wants. But this does not mean that the son will become a millionaire or the daughter will grow up a famous ballerina, if the parents failed in his youth to turn his dream into reality. Without noticing it, parents begin to compare their child and other children in childhood. This is a fatal mistake that destroys strong family ties.



Mother-retired Lilya raised her son alone. The husband, when he found out that Lilya was pregnant, went for bread and did not return. It happens so often. Men are afraid to take responsibility, they are afraid not to live up to childhood hopes and become bad fathers. Without realizing it, dads become bad when they abandon a defenseless woman with a baby in her arms.

“We lived in my mother’s two-bedroom apartment. I didn’t have the time and desire to start a new relationship with a man. I should have supported my mother and put my son on his feet. I always tried to buy something tasty for my son with my small salary, I refused everything to myself.



It’s good that my mother went to the village from time to time, she rescued us with canned food, nuts and apples from the garden. So we lived poor but peacefully. Misha grew up a smart boy, he studied well at school, because he knew that we did not have the money to pay for university studies. Thank goodness Misha is on the budget.

When my son found a part-time job, it became easier. And soon he decided to get married: “I love very much,” he says. Well, I wasn't very happy about this hasty decision. At that time, they had only been dating Anya for six months. But when they signed up and rented a house, I knew that their family would be strong. Anya is a smart and hardworking girl, she supports her mother in everything. In fact, she and Misha are a beautiful couple.



For some reason Anya did not like to visit me, Misha used to visit alone. He said that Anya is tired at work, and she is also a volunteer, so there are a lot of things to do, he rarely sees her at home. It hurt me at first, but then I got used to it.

Even when the retirement age came, I decided that I did not have enough money to subsist, and I did not leave my job. Until they get fired, I work, and I make my son support me. Actually, I think it's superfluous. When a couple is trying to improve their life, just starting to build a family, they do not have much money to spend on their parents. What do we old people want?



One day I went for tea to the children and, while I was in the kitchen, I heard my daughter-in-law talking to my mother on the phone. It turned out that Anya loves her mother very much, helps her pay the bills. This time she was talking about utilities.

I don't know why, but it hurt me. Ani's mother is also a working pensioner, we are on equal terms. No one pays my bills or buys my clothes. It is not nice to take money from children. And recently I learned that at the anniversary matchmaker gave a new washing machine. I remember my son giving me a tea set for my anniversary. That's the difference.

I once thought that I would give my mother’s house to a young family, but now I realize that they will cope on their own. If I give them the house now, they will sell it and help the matchmaker. Who will help me?



Sometimes parents look at other people’s adult children, and do not understand why they are more sociable and affectionate with their relatives, and their own children are not interested in the health of their parents? Because their upbringing is different. In addition, when a person talks about what he cares about, he has a better chance of getting support than if he accumulates resentment and envy.

Lilya probably hasn't decided if she has principles. On the one hand, she wants to be independent and believes it is wrong to accept help from children. And on the other hand, when a woman sees that it can be different, she wants to live the same way. It is worth talking to her son if Lilya is sure that her son is able to help her, and accept help from him if she wants to. Sometimes people make life difficult for themselves, just because it’s “so ugly” or “what people will think” and all that. You have to be sincere with your family. Who else if not with them?