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Why you can not burden the firstborn care for younger children
If The child helps parentsIs that bad or not? Surely every sane person will not see anything reprehensible here. The family is the closest people to each other. This is how our ancestors lived, and so do we.
And when children appear in the family, parents often assume the role of a babysitter on the firstborn. This is considered normal and not even discussed.
However, psychologists consider such relationships in the family the key to great trouble in the future. After all, parents in any situation should remain parents, and the child (whether senior or younger) should remain a child.
When families had many children, and parents had to work from dawn to dawn, household duties were distributed among all. It was a necessity that did not justify a shift in roles in the family. And this model of relationships can be found even today, when there is no special need for it.
Most moms and dads trust without much thought. parenting Senior. Who better to play with a child than his siblings? In this case, the opinion of babysitters is rarely asked. But in this way, parents simply shift the responsibility for the younger child to the older one.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with having an older child walk around the house with a stroller or pick up a brother/sister from kindergarten. However, forcing the firstborn to spend all his free time with younger children is a parental offense. Here's why.
Psychologists believe that the firstborn can still provide Assisting parents in raising children, but only if the "wards" are younger than him by at least 5 years. At the same time, mom and dad are obliged to compensate for this work either with pocket money or another reward.
If such assistance is considered a domestic duty and does not provide a reward, then you need to agree in advance with the child about the time when he will help, and when he will be able to walk with friends, watch cartoons or do other things interesting to him.
In addition, we must not forget that the appearance of a second child in the family is almost always stressful for the firstborn. The eldest child loses the status of the most beloved, attention to it becomes less, and the requirements - more. It is worth paying attention to this, so that everyone in the family has their deserved part of happiness.
Assistance in child education and development Older children, grandparents, and other relatives can provide young parents, but you need to understand that parents are responsible for children, and only they! And in the matter of education, you need to maintain a balance so that the child grows up independently and does not lose a happy childhood.
What do you think about that? Should older children babysit for the younger ones? Share examples from life.
And when children appear in the family, parents often assume the role of a babysitter on the firstborn. This is considered normal and not even discussed.
However, psychologists consider such relationships in the family the key to great trouble in the future. After all, parents in any situation should remain parents, and the child (whether senior or younger) should remain a child.
When families had many children, and parents had to work from dawn to dawn, household duties were distributed among all. It was a necessity that did not justify a shift in roles in the family. And this model of relationships can be found even today, when there is no special need for it.
Most moms and dads trust without much thought. parenting Senior. Who better to play with a child than his siblings? In this case, the opinion of babysitters is rarely asked. But in this way, parents simply shift the responsibility for the younger child to the older one.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with having an older child walk around the house with a stroller or pick up a brother/sister from kindergarten. However, forcing the firstborn to spend all his free time with younger children is a parental offense. Here's why.
- The child is physically unable to cope with parental responsibilities.
- A child can accidentally (and sometimes deliberately) harm his ward, endanger, hit, push.
- To look after someone qualitatively requires desire or reward, but not coercion.
- It's not the child's fault that mom and dad got him a brother or sister.
- Those who were forced to nurse younger relatives in childhood often abandon their own children in adulthood, considering them an unbearable burden.
Psychologists believe that the firstborn can still provide Assisting parents in raising children, but only if the "wards" are younger than him by at least 5 years. At the same time, mom and dad are obliged to compensate for this work either with pocket money or another reward.
If such assistance is considered a domestic duty and does not provide a reward, then you need to agree in advance with the child about the time when he will help, and when he will be able to walk with friends, watch cartoons or do other things interesting to him.
In addition, we must not forget that the appearance of a second child in the family is almost always stressful for the firstborn. The eldest child loses the status of the most beloved, attention to it becomes less, and the requirements - more. It is worth paying attention to this, so that everyone in the family has their deserved part of happiness.
Assistance in child education and development Older children, grandparents, and other relatives can provide young parents, but you need to understand that parents are responsible for children, and only they! And in the matter of education, you need to maintain a balance so that the child grows up independently and does not lose a happy childhood.
What do you think about that? Should older children babysit for the younger ones? Share examples from life.
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