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The PARENT in the role of CLOWN or "MOM I'm BORED"
Family counselor and coach in the field of achievement Boris Herzberg said econet.ru, I want to tell you children when they say "I'm bored" and how parents react to the boredom of the child.
In a recent consultation, a young mom, L. complained to me that she falls into a stupor when her child says "I'm bored". Do not think that she ignoriruet your child, quite the contrary. They play, walk and spend time together. That's why, when the child puts the sponge on the tube and declares that he is bored, L falls into a stupor and disappointed from myself. I just a bad mother, bitterly she tells me. I'm obviously doing something wrong or not enough.
Let's see, that puts the child in the concept boring. Let's start with the good news. If a child complains of boredom to you personally, then this is evidence of the trust to you, proximity with you, and that he considers you the person with whom he can enjoy and have fun. You, of course, it is repeatedly argued, otherwise the child would have to you just did not come with the statement.
The second facet of "I'm bored" is a call for attention. Your child is distracted by toys, TV, consoles or friends and wants to get your attention. The word "boring" in this case means request attention "here and now". Because boredom requires an immediate response. You cannot move it to then.
The third face, "I'm bored" is the message that the child wants something. Probably something different than what he has at the moment or some other activities. Something he does not.
As you can see the message "I'm bored" is pretty harmless. It does not affect the health of the child and does not put his life in danger (if it is out of boredom not going to blow up fireworks, or ride a skateboard on a busy road). However, it will involve the interesting things in the parents. For example, the feeling of guilt.
Rarely any good parent feels from time to time doubt yourself as a parent. Do I offer my child? Whether I give him what he wanted? If I repeat the mistakes of their parents? These and a couple of hundred questions regularly revolve in the mind of the conscientious parents. Parents who are not particularly concerned about their children these questions are not asked.
"I'm bored" child will also involve parents in the good senses of the debt. I played with the baby for two hours, but well I gave birth to him and should be responsible for it and Play with it for another hour. Though clenching his teeth and bit through "not" at the expense of their Affairs or leisure, but if not me, then who. I'm the mother/father/grandmother/he alone in the family/I'm giving more to his brother/and so I have little time for family — underline.
As you can see in the phrase-"I'm bored" has two sides. The child — positive and harmless or neutral. And stron parent — negative. How to behave when your child is bored? Take the time to enroll in the clowns. I have other tips.
©Lisa Visser
1) Stop to transfer the interaction with the child on the rails — I'm a good/bad parent. We all make mistakes in life, sometimes make mistakes with children, but if you strive to be good parents to their children and willing to learn from mistakes and not repeat them from time to time — you are a good parent.
2) be responsible for the leisure of the child lies with the child, and from an early age. If you shift this responsibility, do not be surprised that the child is unable to decide what to do at the moment. Strengthen a child's sense of independence and self-sufficiency and learn to take own responsibility for his little life, where leisure is an important part. Moreover, for children games and leisure are what adult learning, relationships and work.
3)do Not confuse the paragraph 2 that a child is not necessary to spend your time. It is very necessary. But not to take responsibility for what a child can do it much better than you.
4) Watch where you perhaps the child is not doda. Perhaps the phrase "I'm bored", the child just wants your attention, hugs, or that you talked to him for a few moments. And then he is happy to go about their business.
5) Mind YOUR own leisure. Yes, Yes, exactly. When a child sees that the parent is able to take itself and has its own interests, the child tries to keep up.published
Author: Boris Herzberg
Source: /users/217429
In a recent consultation, a young mom, L. complained to me that she falls into a stupor when her child says "I'm bored". Do not think that she ignoriruet your child, quite the contrary. They play, walk and spend time together. That's why, when the child puts the sponge on the tube and declares that he is bored, L falls into a stupor and disappointed from myself. I just a bad mother, bitterly she tells me. I'm obviously doing something wrong or not enough.
Let's see, that puts the child in the concept boring. Let's start with the good news. If a child complains of boredom to you personally, then this is evidence of the trust to you, proximity with you, and that he considers you the person with whom he can enjoy and have fun. You, of course, it is repeatedly argued, otherwise the child would have to you just did not come with the statement.
The second facet of "I'm bored" is a call for attention. Your child is distracted by toys, TV, consoles or friends and wants to get your attention. The word "boring" in this case means request attention "here and now". Because boredom requires an immediate response. You cannot move it to then.
The third face, "I'm bored" is the message that the child wants something. Probably something different than what he has at the moment or some other activities. Something he does not.
As you can see the message "I'm bored" is pretty harmless. It does not affect the health of the child and does not put his life in danger (if it is out of boredom not going to blow up fireworks, or ride a skateboard on a busy road). However, it will involve the interesting things in the parents. For example, the feeling of guilt.
Rarely any good parent feels from time to time doubt yourself as a parent. Do I offer my child? Whether I give him what he wanted? If I repeat the mistakes of their parents? These and a couple of hundred questions regularly revolve in the mind of the conscientious parents. Parents who are not particularly concerned about their children these questions are not asked.
"I'm bored" child will also involve parents in the good senses of the debt. I played with the baby for two hours, but well I gave birth to him and should be responsible for it and Play with it for another hour. Though clenching his teeth and bit through "not" at the expense of their Affairs or leisure, but if not me, then who. I'm the mother/father/grandmother/he alone in the family/I'm giving more to his brother/and so I have little time for family — underline.
As you can see in the phrase-"I'm bored" has two sides. The child — positive and harmless or neutral. And stron parent — negative. How to behave when your child is bored? Take the time to enroll in the clowns. I have other tips.
©Lisa Visser
1) Stop to transfer the interaction with the child on the rails — I'm a good/bad parent. We all make mistakes in life, sometimes make mistakes with children, but if you strive to be good parents to their children and willing to learn from mistakes and not repeat them from time to time — you are a good parent.
2) be responsible for the leisure of the child lies with the child, and from an early age. If you shift this responsibility, do not be surprised that the child is unable to decide what to do at the moment. Strengthen a child's sense of independence and self-sufficiency and learn to take own responsibility for his little life, where leisure is an important part. Moreover, for children games and leisure are what adult learning, relationships and work.
3)do Not confuse the paragraph 2 that a child is not necessary to spend your time. It is very necessary. But not to take responsibility for what a child can do it much better than you.
4) Watch where you perhaps the child is not doda. Perhaps the phrase "I'm bored", the child just wants your attention, hugs, or that you talked to him for a few moments. And then he is happy to go about their business.
5) Mind YOUR own leisure. Yes, Yes, exactly. When a child sees that the parent is able to take itself and has its own interests, the child tries to keep up.published
Author: Boris Herzberg
Source: /users/217429
