WHAT is behind the familiar parental phrase Bashny.Net

Each of these phrases — zakoldovanniy, the parent of "black magic". Spell child, as we know from fairy tales, can either the person who cast the spell or the more powerful wizard. Sometimes, the search more powerful "wizard" takes years. We have time to "spell" our children and give them the opportunity to develop as important to their potential.

You want the child always remained so small. To always he was so sweet.



 

We give a signal to the subconscious of a child "does not grow! When you're little you love and you're safe."

What threatens either the infantilization, developmental delay, small stature - weight, fear of growing up, fear to let go of parents, fear of abandonment, dependency, withdrawal into a fantasy world, leaving the "childhood diseases" or Vice — versa, earlier maturing, early separation, rudeness, aggression...

The witchcraft: the words, spoken aloud or to yourself.

"I rejoice in your every day. And each year they grow older. I am proud of every step you take. And let you be different. You are the best child for me. And I celebrate every day of our life. Each age brings you your gift"

When in the speech of the parent is frequently the pronoun "WE". (After the child said about himself "I am").When a parent tells about the child is older than 4 years — "we pooped, we went to kindergarten, we started school, we got sick, we got married...". The pronoun "we" suggests that the parent feels the child separate from me. And subconsciously does not allow the child to separate and move away. It is the parent creates the ground for co-dependence of the child. And does not allow the child to feel your — own potential. Often the parent does not have "its meaning", your implementation is realized in the child. Often disturbing and very controlling parent tries to keep the child "under the wing".

What will happen: the child becomes helpful, or comfortable, or stubborn and aggressive, not independent, not assembled, can often be sick, whiny, it's hard to make a decision, can often look tired such children often have allergic reactions and lingering bronchitis. (Without releasing the child to his "I", we offer him the burden of our problems, difficulties, diseases — it can be an excessive burden for a child).

The witchcraft: adults to draw (sculpt) separate yourself separate child. Ask yourself the question — "what I dreamed, what I can do for yourself and your potential." :

"You're you. I am me. We are together, we are forever the parent and the child. you are forever my son, daughter, but we are different. Each of us has a potential, its tasks, its life and destiny."

 When we are talking about children — my man, My woman.We are creating confusion in the roles. Make the child as his "partner". Instead of a real adult partner.

What will happen: we create a bunch — mom-son, dad - daughter. Denying the child opportunities to build a harmonious couple (parents do not change, either — they flee, or — and then looking for all my life mom or dad). We child put on the step beside him — in this step the tasks of another level. There are many, including, and sexual energy. The child with this role - energy can not cope with excessive Masturbation is one of the "symptoms". We remote husband, wife, or don't allow side to receive the partner of an adult male and an adult female.

The witchcraft: focusing the relationship on the adult partnership on a pair. To show visible signs of attention and respect for the wife, husband. It is important that the child appealed to parents not just by name, and called the role "mum", "dad". The child mentally or aloud, you can say:

"You are my beloved son (my daughter), I'm your mom (your dad). And this is my man, my husband. (My woman, his wife). You must be a man (woman) that you love and be happy. And I'll be happy for you."

"What a bad Desk - chair — hit the child, let him punish. go, you'll regret it...".When a child stumbles, hits the furniture, benches, parents sometimes to move attention and give "compensation" for the pain — I suggest to "take revenge" is to return the pain, hit the "offender".

The danger: So we teach the child not to take responsibility for their actions and shift the blame. And revenge "external" objects for any discomfort. And we do not teach the child healthy caution and care.

The witchcraft: I'll kiss, caress, and breathe. (You will not regret! ) mom (dad) with you! It's probably very painful. Touch the table — you hit the corner.

Look here angle. Let's be careful.

You're the greatest (the best) physicist, dancer...What are the risks we create in a child the soil for development of neurosis and perfectionism. A child will either try to meet the expectations of the parent it will be an honor student, activist... Nobody to do it in order not to lose our attention and love and will lose contact with the natural joy and aliveness. Or — in obstacles or comparison with others may be disappointed in themselves and their abilities "of me still can't do it" and look for security in imagination, computer, TV, illnesses, addictions.

The witchcraft: take care of your development, not to implement in the child that are unable to implement themselves. instead of saying "I love you for"... to Say "I love you". Or just talk more often about love.

"I am glad that I have you".

It is important to talk about their mistakes, to tell funny stories about yourself, allow the child to make mistakes, to focus on the process more than the result.

"Noticed we're doing great things when we like what we do."

Words that can be spoken aloud or to yourself:

"I love you. And you will forever be my favorite son - daughter. You don't have to earn my love. I believe in your potential and trust your natural wisdom. I believe that everyone has their place in life, in family, everyone has their own place in the implementation and success. and you can take your own place. I will support you in your development. And I agree that you can choose your own path. I let you be yourself"



You look just like dad (mom).We tend to look for similar traits in children. It is important for us to "go on" in children. But sometimes we create conditions for "cultivation" not only the appearance, but also qualities, diseases of adults.

What threatens child "merges" with the parent, the "similarity" which is constantly emphasized. We like it dedicate this adult. The child may agree to be the "blueprint", and may try to resist it. In the first case he adopts the character traits, reactions, sometimes of disease, falls into a similar situation. He identificireba with those who emphasize the similarity. The second he defiantly can avoid contact, be aggressive, refuse to do Mature traits that are common to both.

The witchcraft:

"You like, but you are different. Each of you has its own destiny, its power, its potential. You took the most valuable of the two genera is similar and, in fact, himself. You have the right to be yourself."

That's when you will have your children will understand.In this phrase sounds the phantom menace. It is unspecific, refers to passive - aggressive phrases to the subconscious of the child sounds like a curse.

"You're going to pay for all that I had to go through with you".

Interestingly, working with clients with psychological infertility, it is this phrase we often got from their memory.

What are the consequences: guilt, fear to have children, feeling that bad and that wrong. but it is not clear what was wrong.

The witchcraft: to Talk about their parent's feelings: I'm angry, I hurt, I hurt.

"I love you always when we are having fun, when we are difficult with each other, when you are healthy and when sick, when tired and when we are angry at each other. I, along with you learn. And I think you'll be a wonderful mother (a wonderful dad). And my love for you will pass on your children — my grandchildren.".published

Author: Svetlana Roiz



Source: flymama.info/kids/neskolko-roditelskix-fraz-lyubov/