How to become financially independent from their parents Bashny.Net

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At some point in life you may desire to become financially independent from your parents (if you are dependent). Maybe in one moment you just feel a sharp need for this, just want to get rid of the constant need to leave home only to come back with my tail between my legs and an empty purse.

And every time your parents will offer to pay your expenses and you will have to accept this help, although you'll be excited about it.

You will realize that you don't use your potential because you just do not need it. You are looking for a permanent job, for example, because I know that your mother will always be there to help you if you fail. And you do not try to keep a job if it becomes too difficult, boring or routine. Again and you quit.

But you don't just use your parents, you yourself block your way to personal growth and development.

Your personal financial independence means not accepting help from your parents. It also means following your career to have a source of income. You may need to go to and from work on foot to save on petrol or the purchase of a ticket of admission. You may have to sleep on an uncomfortable sofa in someone's room, and sometimes you will not be able to eat for a few days until you get paid for their work.

Yes, you will face difficulties and experience you have received, you will seem humiliating, but having gone through it all once, you learn the lesson and you don't have to repeat it. And thanks to him you will understand who you really are and what you are really capable of challenging yourself to become independent.

How to establishfinancial independence

The relationship between the child and his parents is just one of the many types of relationships that may require one or two individuals to develop a sense of dependency. Other examples can be romance or friendship.

Although every relationship has its difficult moments, I learned that the road to independence there are three General steps: application, separation and reconnection.

State your intentions

The first step in this process is to assert its independence. Think about the stage of application as something that is cutting the emotional umbilical cord. At this stage you tell us about its intention to become independent from another person. This statement can be made with misunderstanding, anger, sadness and a variety of other emotions and reactions. Here are some things that you need to remember when you declare independence:

Share your message with confidence and perseverance.

Speak briefly and to the point.

Use phrases beginning with "I" to give others to understand that your decision affects you, not them.

You should not feel the need to justify or apologize for his decision.

Release the need to be responsible for the reaction of other people.

The actual content of the message may be relatively simple. For example: "I'm doing some positive changes in their lives, though they may seem not as simple to implement. I'm trying to take more responsibility for themselves and their own lives. I want to become more independent and understand who I really am. I depended on you (insert specific information) and that I should back off from this relationship, to begin a deeper understanding of themselves. My decision is not a reflection of you. This statement about myself and about where I am in my life. Therefore, some period of time, I'll have less to do with you."

It is likely that you will be asked about what specific time period you're talking about. Just tell me what you need exactly as much time as you need to nurture their independence and discover who you really are.

To secede means to build a certain boundary between you and the other person. This can be done if separated physically, sexually, financially or emotionally. What you need depends on the nature of your relationship.

If separated physically impossible, limit the time you spend talking or communicating with that person. Focus on how to identify common emotional boundaries and live within them.

In the end, the goal of the Department is to allow you to see yourself more clearly and help you understand what you need for your own well being. In that space, which will create for you office, you will allow to speak to his inner self. Start to disappear the factors that distract you and created the other person needs, opinions, thoughts and feelings of another person. You, in the end, will be able to discern what is genuine, true and honest to yourself.

You are aware of those requirements that you have met due to their dependence on another person, and find ways how to implement these requirements yourself. Perhaps you depended on another person to motivate themselves, to comfort themselves, to escape from their problems or to feel loved.

What do you do if the other person no longer fulfils this role in your life? You yourself learn to take responsibility for motivation, comfort and love. You can also start to pay attention to those problems which you have avoided and which are ignored. Office allows you to really feel your independence and restore power over your choices, behaviours, beliefs and emotional trace which you create and leave behind.

Paradoxically, the more responsibility you take on, the more freedom you have – freedom to be yourself and live your life, fulfilling your own goals.

You may ask the question: "How long do I have to pass the stage of separation?"

It depends on the circumstances and nature of the relationship between you and the other person. However, this stage should be sufficiently long to ensure that you have identified and understand your own needs, opinions, thoughts and motivations, regardless of other people. Some can take a couple of days, weeks, years, or even decades. Others can determine for themselves during the stage of separation, that the resumption of relations is a foolish choice, no matter how much time has passed.

Simple test: tune to himself. What feelings do you have when you think or interact with this person? If they continue to be predominantly negative or bring you confused, you might not be ready to reconnect with this person.

If you can't interact with that person without losing yourself, try to assess whether the merits is like a person place in your life?

Reconnect when ready

The final stage is reconnection. This phase includes the conclusion of new agreements and define roles in the relationship in new ways. These roles should be clearly defined and accepted by both individuals.

What you need to consider:

What behaviors are acceptable? What is unacceptable?

What you will expect from each other?

What will be the consequences if the agreement is not honoured?

The presence and control of the consequences does not mean that you will try to control the other person or manipulate them. Rather, it is the opportunity to understand what works in this situation and what is not. As soon as you tell other people about your expectations, they have the opportunity to decide whether they agree with you or not. This process requires you to be absolutely sincere and honest. If something is not working for you, but in any case you accept it, you are dishonest in relation to yourself and to another person. This often leads to confusion and latent anger.

Clearly Express your intentions

Take your time and spend more time to discover our true self. Reinstall role in your relationship and you will gain the coveted financial independence.

"The best helping hand is your own." Swedish proverb

Source: justpost.com.ua