I don't think at the moment our family is great – only five people. But in many places what we call in Russia, and abroad. And a big afraid to start a family. Fears and myths in my head a lot. At the same time – many people want, but pricked.
The large family has many advantages, they are much more than difficulties. And I will certainly describe below. But there are downsides. And I don't want to pretend that it is not.
Twenty six million eight hundred seven thousand two hundred sixty three
Frame from the film "Yours, mine and ours"
So let's start with them.
The food is over instantly. Especially the vegetarians, because fresh fruits and vegetables cannot be stored for a long time. Well, and consumed it all in a jiffy. In the store every day or every other day. The husband is always in shock, where has it all gone. Remember the story of mother of 9 children that 20 kg of oranges was over for the day.
It is impossible to always satisfy everyone. With one and even two children it is easy to find compromises and make everyone happy always. And if the kids are three, four, five and more? There is always someone happy, someone not. And it's not a tragedy, it's the norm. The main thing that angry face changed, and not always the same.
We need to change the tools to change ourselves (parents). One child can pass each other, like a banner. Two children can be divided, one in each hand. But three? Four? Need to change all their ways of influencing children. So, to change inside.
Sometimes not enough hands.
Sometimes even I want to hug everyone at once — but does not always work out. And sometimes wash the ass one, but somewhere falls the other. You have to feel sorry for him, but the priest something else netomata.
More strictly you need to set the boundaries of his time. When you have one child and he is sleeping — it's your time. And when the three of them, and one sleeping, and two not? Or two sleeping, and one not? Whose this time then?
Find the opportunity to give each personal attention. It is not easy, but the child that attention don't need much to draw a little bit together, plays with a LEGO set, to cuddle.
There is no time to be lazy and depressed, because all the time you need someone to take care of. This can be considered both an advantage and disadvantage.
Even loving each other children sometimes fuss and fight. Especially boys — and there is always enough. It's hard to resist, but I have not seen brothers and sisters that never fight.
Different tastes in food, for example. Not always to please everyone with one dish. You have to Dodge.
Collective ownership of almost everything, try to take something different only for yourself — starting from a slice of mango to new pencils. Who found, and sneakers. And someone will certainly find it.
Noisily. Quiet only at night when everyone is asleep — and then not for long. Silence becomes such a welcome.
More things in the house and more need to take trips. One suitcase for five no longer get off. And once more things, the harder it is and with the procedure and with the Laundry, and folding.
Travel is more expensive — tickets, large rooms (in one is not always allowed to settle, sometimes you have to take 2 rooms or one large), you need a large car to rent and so on.
It is difficult to be alone my parents. Only if you run away from home, leaving the children with someone. As one large dad — the more children in the house, the less chance that they will be more... well, you know what it is.
All the time you need to reboot. What worked with one, not necessarily work with the second. One will be some difficulty with others. No single algorithm education and solutions to all problems.
In a large family claws do not click, as my husband says. Will be time to think if I want a banana, no banana. This is a disadvantage for those who are accustomed to thinking. Or how I used to do something to find out where she put it.
The husband is transformed from a native person in the staff. The same is true about the wife — bring, bring, pet, feed, wash, put away. Functional load increases on parents, even with the help of the older. You have to delegate and find ways to just love.
The more children, the less you are invited to visit — especially those who have no children.
Things faster come into disrepair — the more children, the more likely it is that izrisuet Wallpaper, bed linen, smashes a vase.
Let's move to the pros? There are many more, and I recorded not all.
Cheerfully. There are no opportunities to get bored when there are so many different loved ones. The more children, the more unpredictable the world is.
Personal growth. Permanent — for mom and for dad. They want it to or not. And that's a plus — not exactly zacatepetl!
In many ways, two are easier than one, and three is easier than two. They get distracted with each other, play, build relationships with each other.
A lot depends on the older child — younger will take his example. So many say that it is enough to educate one, and then put on stream. Sometimes a single teaching — and he will teach others.
A huge portion of the daily "mi-mi-mi", i.e., something to admire infinity — when they need each other hug and kiss. When they dressed alike when they share with each other and care about each other.
It's beautiful. Photos, family videos, the same clothes — so many different ways to preserve memories of your childhood kids!
It's natural. Many things open only after the third child, and some only after the fifth (according to rumors). Many say that three children is not large, but normal-water-borne family.
All children are different. And in a large family have a chance to see this in practice, when the same parents of several children are totally different. Less chance that you account for them will sell their dreams and realize their ambitions.
Real socialization. From where can not hide, not pretend to be someone. You have to learn to build relationships, to conflict, to tolerate, to Express my feelings and myself. On the present. It's more like the realities of life than an artificial collection of the children in the kindergarten.
You can not go to kindergarten – what if you have a house and a real garden?
There's always someone to hug right now. Always and everywhere. And it's great!
Mom will have to deal with themselves and their inner development — not otherwise survive. She will have a hobby to find and change your attitude to yourself.
Both parents have to "grow" a sense of humor that is very valuable. Again — because otherwise it will not work.
With the birth of children you become more effective — in less time get more done. The best teacher of time management children.
Large families teach patience, humility, service. Children are more Mature, more independent, know how to care and work, it is easier to create a family and they know what to do with children.
And Yes, I will provide it separately. Children from large families understand what parenting what to do with a small what to play, how to care. For them the birth of their children not getting a shock or some kind of punishment. They have passed through the school of the young fighter. And this is very important!
And when parents will not them from each other enough to support each other and be friends.
You can learn a lot — because every child interested in something. Become a Pro in drawing, and Legos, and fire stations to go, and learn to sew and knit.
Parents finally have to delegate one or two children can fully serve themselves. But when they are three or four, have to find other solutions to the problem.
In my experience mothers of large families are always very versatile and incredibly beautiful — inside and out.
In a large family of proportionally or even exponentially increases the amount of love and happiness.
And Yes, it's not much more expensive than raising 1-2 kids — just another management (things go from one to another, is used much more intensively and collectively, refuse from unnecessary and easy enough).
Space for realization of talents of mom and dad!
You can lead the masses, it is possible to put on plays, team basketball to put together!
More joy, positive emotions, inspiration. Every child contributes to this is a huge deal.
Children reveal to us the world anew. Every time. Every child. And it's amazing.
It was fantastic to see in their eyes a continuation of her beloved husband. Every once in a while. This is probably the most amazing feeling to have a piece of a loved one.
A big family is a reason to reconsider his life and go to a more natural. For example, to move to the country, to grow food, be close to nature. With one or two children to live in the city. With three or more — is more complicated.
When mom is busy with important thing – that is, raising children that leave their energy there. While the child is small, she needed him one hundred percent, and energy is spent, she had no time to do stuff. But as a teenage — mother gradually begins to make the brain the Pope. Because it has formed a surplus of energy. It would be possible, but then she will spend there at all. But she again someone give birth and throw their hand in there.
Will not be bored. Guaranteed.
In a large family, children do not suffer from hyperopic, parents once to control them, to follow them totally. In their lives with more freedom and autonomy.
Children up to five years to naturally radiate happiness. Therefore, the first five years of happiness in the house so much.
Mom and dad are not just a couple, and truly native people. The more children you have, the stronger your emotional and spiritual closeness, the more valuable the relationship, the more they love.
Increases faith in God. You have to believe that someone other than you keeps your children and protect, or you'll go crazy with worry and the inability to be everywhere at once.
Pros-cons... And the children grow up, grow up, and the house is becoming quieter and quieter... And you are so used to noise and children's laughter. Children is like a drug. Well, when they are when a lot of them. And as once said one man in the house should always be a little child. I agree with him.
The extended family is a busier, more noise, more laughter and tears, more love and a reason for joy. Once all families have been. Now they're in the minority. Too bad. Let's change these statistics? published
Author: Olga Valyaeva, Chapter from the book "destiny to be a mother»