Gary Chapman, author of the famous book "Five love languages", writes about the fact that they are children. Realizing which language "speaks of love" your child, you will be able to avoid misunderstandings with him and give him a sense of confidence.1. Words of encouragement
While children are young, parents do not skimp on the sweet words. They admire a baby: "Oh! what our eyes (ears, hair)!"
The child begins to crawl, parents love it. He is learning to walk, mom and dad encouraging him: "That's it! Come on! Well done!"... The child grew up, and somehow, the praise gives way to comments. The child grows up, less and less we praise him, we notice errors only.
If his native language is words of encouragement, criticism are contraindicated. It will take twenty years, and his ears ring: "you're fat! Well, who'd look at you?", "Stupid! As you still have from school not expelled?", "Like you, will accomplish nothing in life." You told him that he's not worthy of neither love nor respect, you maim him for life.
2. Quality time
Spend time with your child means to give him all your attention. If it is small, you can, sitting on the floor, roll him a ball. With an older child to play with dolls, toy cars, build castles in the sandbox. The child grows up, he develops new interests. Let them become yours. He likes basketball — he must like you, play with him, take him to the matches. Many do not remember what you said to them in my childhood my parents, but I remember that they did. If it is the native language of your child, and he knows that you say it, perhaps even in adolescence he wants to spend more time with you, not in the street of the company. If you mind the time for him that you are sorry for it now, don't be surprised that he will turn away from you.3. Gifts
In this language of love is spoken by all parents. And many believe that he is the only one. If the gifts are quickly bored child, if he does not keep them, if you never praise a new toy and even forgets to say thank you — it is unlikely that the gifts of his native language. What if the gifts is the native language of your child, and you are not provided? Remember, "it is not the gift, expensive attention." For child homemade toys sometimes more expensive shops.4. Service, help
Little child need to take care of all the time. Without our help he will die. The parents feed him, bathe, swaddle, wash and iron sliders. All this requires a lot of effort. The child grew up — there are new concerns: to collect Breakfast to take to school, check homework. Usually the kids take these efforts for granted. But some see in them love. If the child often asks to help him, using his language of love.5. Touch
We all know how important it is for children touch. Babies, which often hands are growing faster than those who do not know affection, say doctors. Kids holding hands, rocking, kissing, hugging. Long before they learn the word "love", they are in love. The child wants affection.With a teenager difficult. He may not like his kiss, like a little, especially if close friends. If he rejects you, it doesn't mean that touching him is not needed. If a teenager and then takes you by the elbow, trying a joke to fight, and every time you pass by, grabs you by the leg — so touch is important to him.
Look to your child. How he expresses love? What is often requested? What does he like? All this will help you to determine his native language.published
Author Olesya Baranova
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
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