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New year outside the home: is it possible to let go of the teenager?
Teenager wants to celebrate New year in the company of friends. To let go of?The new year is a family holiday. But parents of teenagers will sooner or later be faced with a choice when the son or daughter say they want to celebrate the holiday with friends. Whether to follow traditions or to allow the teenager to celebrate the New year in the company of peers?
TO UNDERSTAND IMPORTANT NEEDS
Adolescence is characterized by the fact that for the child at the forefront of relationships with peers. It becomes very important to be part of a team of peers, to be like everyone else. And this need is not just a whim, a teenager thanks to this connection with the group personality evolves, finds himself.
Twenty five million two hundred sixty eight thousand eight hundred ninety two
Therefore, if a company gathers together to celebrate the New year, in adolescents, there is a strong desire to be there, at least in order to avoid becoming the black sheep in the eyes of friends.
It is very important that parents understand and accept this desire. If the child hears "nonsense", "what kind of fiction", provoking feelings of guilt, the phrase "are your friends more important than family?!"there is a high probability that insist on it will become even more and this will take the form of protest. Teens more want to flee the company, where it is understood, from parents who think it is the desire of nonsense.
TO UNDERSTAND THE DETAILSIt is necessary to discuss with your child the details of the alleged party. Who will be at the festival, are you familiar themselves with these children, what age they are, where will be held, what time it starts, whether to attend one of the adults, what is the program and so on. Many parents are concerned about the issue of alcohol – it is also important to discuss.
On the one hand, this will allow to assess the degree of safety events, which, of course, important. The task of parents is to clearly define what he, an adult, is responsible for the life and the health of your child, and therefore must necessarily know these details. In any serious doubt about this position the parent must be firm.
On the other hand, the responses of the child will be clear, that increasingly pushes him to such a choice. It's one thing if a teenager says that at the feast are his best friends, about what is planned interesting party games or dancing. Another thing, when the child did not even know what will happen and who will be on holiday. You can see that he wants not so much to the party, how afraid and refuse to fall into "disfavor" someone authoritative to their peers. In this case, the task of the adult is to help the child to refuse, calmly clarify the situation to him.
ARRANGEEven if you are convinced that the planned party will be safe and really important for a child to release the first time all the new year's eve still not worth it, especially if the son or daughter is not yet 16 years of age.
Agree on the compromise. For example, guys can have fun until ten or eleven at night, and then go home and celebrate the New year with his parents. Well, if such arrangement will not only you have with your child, but other children and their parents that it was a collective decision. Ask about whether some kind of assistance in organizing the event.
Very important for adequate control. Agree that some times call each other, we can just specify the time, encourage your child to be always connected and not to clean away the mobile phone, mark is one of the main conditions. Try not to overdo it with the control. Too frequent calls, and even more unexpected visit to check will not be on hand your relationship. Teens really appreciate the parents trust. Just tell the son or daughter: "I know that you've got sane people." This will be enough.
Don't forget to tell the teen about their feelings, about what you want to be a family, to congratulate each other on new year's eve you will miss him. Only these phrases should not become a way to manipulate a teenager.
When a child first time celebrating a traditional family holiday outside the family, this is an important stage of growing up. It's always a little sad for the parents, but it is important to keep this period of trust and mutual respect. To release or not to release a teenager in this time to meet the upcoming year with friends up to you, but in any case, try to hear a son or daughter and be open to changes in your life that are inevitable with growing children. published
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: domashniy.ru/article/psihologiya-otnosheniy/semejnye-otnosheniya/novyj_god_vne_doma__za_i_protiv_.html
TO UNDERSTAND IMPORTANT NEEDS
Adolescence is characterized by the fact that for the child at the forefront of relationships with peers. It becomes very important to be part of a team of peers, to be like everyone else. And this need is not just a whim, a teenager thanks to this connection with the group personality evolves, finds himself.
Twenty five million two hundred sixty eight thousand eight hundred ninety two
Therefore, if a company gathers together to celebrate the New year, in adolescents, there is a strong desire to be there, at least in order to avoid becoming the black sheep in the eyes of friends.
It is very important that parents understand and accept this desire. If the child hears "nonsense", "what kind of fiction", provoking feelings of guilt, the phrase "are your friends more important than family?!"there is a high probability that insist on it will become even more and this will take the form of protest. Teens more want to flee the company, where it is understood, from parents who think it is the desire of nonsense.
TO UNDERSTAND THE DETAILSIt is necessary to discuss with your child the details of the alleged party. Who will be at the festival, are you familiar themselves with these children, what age they are, where will be held, what time it starts, whether to attend one of the adults, what is the program and so on. Many parents are concerned about the issue of alcohol – it is also important to discuss.
On the one hand, this will allow to assess the degree of safety events, which, of course, important. The task of parents is to clearly define what he, an adult, is responsible for the life and the health of your child, and therefore must necessarily know these details. In any serious doubt about this position the parent must be firm.
On the other hand, the responses of the child will be clear, that increasingly pushes him to such a choice. It's one thing if a teenager says that at the feast are his best friends, about what is planned interesting party games or dancing. Another thing, when the child did not even know what will happen and who will be on holiday. You can see that he wants not so much to the party, how afraid and refuse to fall into "disfavor" someone authoritative to their peers. In this case, the task of the adult is to help the child to refuse, calmly clarify the situation to him.
ARRANGEEven if you are convinced that the planned party will be safe and really important for a child to release the first time all the new year's eve still not worth it, especially if the son or daughter is not yet 16 years of age.
Agree on the compromise. For example, guys can have fun until ten or eleven at night, and then go home and celebrate the New year with his parents. Well, if such arrangement will not only you have with your child, but other children and their parents that it was a collective decision. Ask about whether some kind of assistance in organizing the event.
Very important for adequate control. Agree that some times call each other, we can just specify the time, encourage your child to be always connected and not to clean away the mobile phone, mark is one of the main conditions. Try not to overdo it with the control. Too frequent calls, and even more unexpected visit to check will not be on hand your relationship. Teens really appreciate the parents trust. Just tell the son or daughter: "I know that you've got sane people." This will be enough.
Don't forget to tell the teen about their feelings, about what you want to be a family, to congratulate each other on new year's eve you will miss him. Only these phrases should not become a way to manipulate a teenager.
When a child first time celebrating a traditional family holiday outside the family, this is an important stage of growing up. It's always a little sad for the parents, but it is important to keep this period of trust and mutual respect. To release or not to release a teenager in this time to meet the upcoming year with friends up to you, but in any case, try to hear a son or daughter and be open to changes in your life that are inevitable with growing children. published
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! © Join us at Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: domashniy.ru/article/psihologiya-otnosheniy/semejnye-otnosheniya/novyj_god_vne_doma__za_i_protiv_.html
