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Holy family time
Bashny.Net
A little over a year ago, I firmly deadlocked. I realized that my 11-year-old daughter ARINC we are living completely parallel courses. She listened to different music, watched other cartoons (Japanese anime), read entirely different books (children's detectives), while refused to watch movies and even cartoons together and frowned at the mention of books, which I liked at her age. She nothing not know about them, but didn't want to know.
I was stung by indignation and at the same time their helplessness from what our cultural codes do not match, and the gap between us grows.
I consulted with my husband, and our conversation helped me to aim more precisely, what I want, where to seek in our relations with the daughter. It is important to say that in three months our family has a new baby. I realized that the distancing with an older child it is predictable and, for obvious reasons, is inevitable. But I was frightened by the prospect of actually losing Arishka connection.
What did I want? More communication with the whole family together and our with ARINC together, I wanted to strengthen our relationship. I imagined that relationship is a bridge, on which both sides can move cars, and it can be narrow or wide. So our Arishka bridge I experienced as very stable, with many lanes in both directions, but for some reason this bridge drove quite a few cars.
If you look at the image globally, then we were like two Islands, on each of which there is a vigorous internal life, but the movement between the Islands some are very rare.
I know myself that family is one of my main values. And I realized that since no collapse of the bridge, congestion and clear and there is no obstacle, it is important to provide opportunities to enhance flows in both directions, for exchange. Invented to allocate a separate time for family, convenient to all that we will come together to play, share the latest events, links, experiences, plans, etc.
This time it was decided to consider the Holy family time to protect him from the encroachments of other plans. In the hustle and bustle of the work week on such a leisurely existence with each other no resources, so we scheduled this time in one weekend. And even came up with this weekly event in a single word — Sereda, deciding that home is we, and not the walls of our apartment, and cher — not so much names, how many English share, share.
Sometimes tight, and smooth. We liked to get together in parks and start there a kite or plant a oak tree. We played a lot of Board games. Invented and shot a video with the whole family. Of course, it happened that some of us could not — studied or were leaving, but we were going three, not four, and then he always came back and continued along.
It was sometimes difficult to seredipity with our active toddler. Other times, internal resistance, and our diverse desires strengthened the centrifugal force, not centripetal. Nevertheless, much important has happened through this Holy time for each other.
Arishka began to share with us the music listening, books reading. We just have the opportunity to be together, to play. For me, a huge internal step was my own movement forward.
It seemed to me that I am open and willing to invest attention, time, effort, if only Cheredom was. But I found that I was very snobbish about the fact that Arishka reads. When I had a question, if I read in rare free moments-watch baby some professional literature, to translate an article or to read the book, read by my 11 year old daughter, I always prefer first or second last.
See also: When the family turns into pride
Why would a man family
My important movement in the openness of our relationship was to feel as if I put her books on a lower step, think them unworthy of my attention. And what could she feel that way about my attitude? And she, of course, felt it.
Today our Holy family time a year. It 52 times tested. I am very pleased with the results. And we continue! published
Author: Tatiana Sheredeko
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: anima.pro/semya-like-cennost-svyatoe-vremya-dlya-semi
I was stung by indignation and at the same time their helplessness from what our cultural codes do not match, and the gap between us grows.
I consulted with my husband, and our conversation helped me to aim more precisely, what I want, where to seek in our relations with the daughter. It is important to say that in three months our family has a new baby. I realized that the distancing with an older child it is predictable and, for obvious reasons, is inevitable. But I was frightened by the prospect of actually losing Arishka connection.
What did I want? More communication with the whole family together and our with ARINC together, I wanted to strengthen our relationship. I imagined that relationship is a bridge, on which both sides can move cars, and it can be narrow or wide. So our Arishka bridge I experienced as very stable, with many lanes in both directions, but for some reason this bridge drove quite a few cars.
If you look at the image globally, then we were like two Islands, on each of which there is a vigorous internal life, but the movement between the Islands some are very rare.
I know myself that family is one of my main values. And I realized that since no collapse of the bridge, congestion and clear and there is no obstacle, it is important to provide opportunities to enhance flows in both directions, for exchange. Invented to allocate a separate time for family, convenient to all that we will come together to play, share the latest events, links, experiences, plans, etc.
This time it was decided to consider the Holy family time to protect him from the encroachments of other plans. In the hustle and bustle of the work week on such a leisurely existence with each other no resources, so we scheduled this time in one weekend. And even came up with this weekly event in a single word — Sereda, deciding that home is we, and not the walls of our apartment, and cher — not so much names, how many English share, share.
Sometimes tight, and smooth. We liked to get together in parks and start there a kite or plant a oak tree. We played a lot of Board games. Invented and shot a video with the whole family. Of course, it happened that some of us could not — studied or were leaving, but we were going three, not four, and then he always came back and continued along.
It was sometimes difficult to seredipity with our active toddler. Other times, internal resistance, and our diverse desires strengthened the centrifugal force, not centripetal. Nevertheless, much important has happened through this Holy time for each other.
Arishka began to share with us the music listening, books reading. We just have the opportunity to be together, to play. For me, a huge internal step was my own movement forward.
It seemed to me that I am open and willing to invest attention, time, effort, if only Cheredom was. But I found that I was very snobbish about the fact that Arishka reads. When I had a question, if I read in rare free moments-watch baby some professional literature, to translate an article or to read the book, read by my 11 year old daughter, I always prefer first or second last.
See also: When the family turns into pride
Why would a man family
My important movement in the openness of our relationship was to feel as if I put her books on a lower step, think them unworthy of my attention. And what could she feel that way about my attitude? And she, of course, felt it.
Today our Holy family time a year. It 52 times tested. I am very pleased with the results. And we continue! published
Author: Tatiana Sheredeko
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: anima.pro/semya-like-cennost-svyatoe-vremya-dlya-semi
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