Many children feel a hidden anger and hostility against parents, and often the reason for this is the lack of a real relationship with them. The child has a deep strong desire to parent was a person, not a role, like he did faithfully performed.
For your child you can do everything in your power to do it right, but even this is not enough. In fact, doing is never enough if you neglect Being.
Ego knows nothing about Things, but believes that doing will save you. If you're caught in the grip of the ego, you believe that, making more and more, you finally accumulate enough "done" to sometime in the future to feel happy.
Will not work. You'll be drowning in the work. The whole civilization is mired in the making, the basis of which is not Sheer, but because it is doing in vain.
How can you make Things in the life is hectic and busy families, the relationship with your child? The key is to give the child attention.There are two types of attention.
The basis of the first type is form. Another type of attention is not associated with the form. Attention, based on form, always, in one way or another, connected with the activity or assessment. "You did homework? Come in for dinner. You tidy our room. Brush your teeth. Get to work on that. Stop it. Hurry up, get ready".What do we do next?
This question pretty accurately summarizes how looks life in most families. Attention, based on form, of course, a must, and it finds its place, but if the relationship with the child nothing else, it defeats the most important life dimension, and Things are completely obscured by doing, as Jesus said, "the cares of the world". Attention that is not associated with the form, inseparable from measuring a Mere.
How does it work?
When you look at the child, listen to him, touch him or help him anyway — you are alert, calm, fully present, do not want anything other than this moment — such as it is. So you create space for Everything. At this moment, if you're present, you're not my mother and father. You are the alertness, willingness, calmness, a Presence that listens, looks, touches, even says. You will be making.Recognition of your child
You are a human being. What does it mean? Mastery of life is not a question of management, and the question of finding a balance between the individual and the universal. Mother, father, husband, wife, young, old, the roles you perform, the functions, that is, everything you do belongs to the human dimension. All of this has a place and should be respected, but only for realized, truly meaningful relationship or life that one will never be enough.
One of the human dimension is absolutely not enough, no matter how you tried and what would be achieved. There Is Existence. It can be found in the calm, alert presence of Consciousness itself, Consciousness that you are. Man is form. The existence of the formless. Man and Existence are not separated from each other, they are merged together.
In the human dimension you're, without a doubt, surpass your child. You're bigger, stronger, more aware, more can. If you are familiar with only this dimension, then you will unconsciously feel superior in relation to the child, will unconsciously make him feel like he's below you.
Between you and the baby no equal, because in your relationship there is only form, and form you, of course, are not equal.
You can love your child, but your love is only human, in other words, conditional, possessive, impulsive, spasmodic, irregular.
You are only outside forms in Existence, and true love in your relationship may occur only when you find this formless dimension in yourself, detects the Presence that you are, the timeless I am, learn himself in the other. And at the same time another, in this case, the child will feel that love him, in other words, recognize.To love is to see yourself in another.
Then the "otherness" of the other is perceived as an illusion inherent in the purely human world, the world of forms. A passionate desire of love that lives in every child is the longing to be recognized not on the level of forms, and at the level of Existence.
If parents honor only the human dimension of the child, and they neglect the Existence, the child will feel that their relationship is not yet fully implemented, that they are not missing something absolutely essential for life, and then the child starts to grow the pain, and sometimes against parents appears unconscious hostility. "Why do you not recognize me?" — that seem to say that pain and hostility.
When another recognizes you, then you both this recognition even more attracted to the world of measuring Things. It's love returning to the world. I talked about this with the emphasis on your relationship with the child, but this, of course, equally applicable to any relationship.
It is written: "God is love", but that's not entirely true. God is a single Life inside and outside of its countless forms. Love implies duality: loving and beloved, subject and object. So love is the recognition of unity in a dualistic world. The birth of the God, His coming into the world of forms. Love makes this world less earthly, less dense, making it more transparent to the divine dimension, the light of consciousness.Refusal to fulfill the role
To do what you want in any situation and not to turn this into a role with which to identify — the essence of a lesson in the art of living. Each of us came here in order to learn this lesson.
You become as strong and effective at what I do, when I do action for the sake of action, and not when you turn it into a means of protection and reinforcing their identification with the role or the desire to adapt to it.
Every role is a fictitious, imaginary sense of self, but through it all personifizierte, and therefore is exposed to destruction and distortion that carries generated in the mind of the "little I" and any role that he brought to play.
Most people holding positions in the power structures of this world, including politicians, TV celebrities, business and religious leaders, are totally identified with their roles, although there are very rare but notable exceptions. They may be considered VIP persons, but it is nothing more than unconscious players egotistically game, seemingly important, however, completely devoid of any true purpose. In the words of Shakespeare, it is "a tale told by an idiot, loud and full of fury, but devoid of meaning." Amazingly, Shakespeare arrived at this conclusion without the aid of television.
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If equipesca earth drama has any purpose, only a side: she creates the world more and more suffering, this very suffering, although it is to a large extent is a result of ego, ultimately, destroys it. It is the fire in which ego burns itself.published
From the book by Eckhart Tolle "a New Earth"
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©