1155
Office plankton
It is a plausible analysis of the company's employees average ... Read!))
The secretary - outraged when her so-called. She is a secretary. The main activity - telephone and fax. It looks important matter like this: Concerned Manager (calling on the intercom): "Helen, type Syzran, Ivan Ivanovich, very hot" secretary "O'key! (gaining Syzran) Ale! Good afternoon! Verunchik Hey, how's it going?
What is your baboon? (it is about the chief) What are you talking about ?! I bought myself a new jacket ... no - zhёltenkuyu (within 10 minutes of discussion blouse, lipstick and tomatoes, tights and "Colgate"). Listen, connect with Ivan Ivanovitch went home ...? Long? Just? Well, happily! And spit on this fool - will find another! (Number to be dialed concerns manager.) Ale! Ivan Ivanovitch had just left home, you're a little late. (On the phone heard the distinctive sound - Concerned manager tries to hang on a telephone wire.) The theater begins with a hanger, and an office with a secretary that all hangers give a hundred points ahead. Next to the secretary is usually:
The guard - he is stern and square. Looking guard always thoughtful - he himself mentally builds in single file, and converts to the first - the second. He walks around the office and looks as if something happens. And extinguishes extra bulb. To avoid. When someone comes out of the toilet cubicles, there comes a guard for a long time looking into the foaming water bowl. Suddenly, to the secret documents washed away. Or attempt to penetrate from the outside. There have been precedents. The guard - biceps office. This is a great and thoughtful. While he thinks it past the troublesome fly snuёt:
Manager of the ordinary - the word we like to call anyone. Manager disinfection - that means the cleaning lady. Managers are very fond of different balalaika phrases such as "branding", "breynstormy." But take his bright tie and demand to explain - what, for example, "franchising". You never know. And in general - managers funny people. Friendly and hardworking they run on smoke breaks and lunch, and at other times create monstrous traffic forwarding, each friend jokes: If the manager to tear off the team and put in a separate room, he quickly run wild and in its place there:
The manager concerned - it can always be recognized by the colored sticky paper. These three layers plastered monitor, shelves, walls, phone. On pieces of paper written something very valuable. Manager disinfection afraid to shake his wastebasket - suddenly there important documents? It comes before all and often spends the night in the office, when you open its door to the corridor crawls cubic concentrated smoke fills the room before. Every three months he begins to struggle with paper dvornicheski snowdrifts lying on the desk, shelves, monitor, the floor on the second table and stool in the corner. In the process of cleaning, he stumbles upon a plate of cake and otsementivshimsya old magazine crossword puzzles. Opening it at random, anxious manager thinks about the question, "bearded zernoupakovka" of five letters, trying to write the word "gopher", and then goes to consult the office. Cleaning completed successfully. If you give him some urgent paper, you can not worry about her fate - she will take its rightful place in the sediments of paper on his desk. And no one likes, even:
Cleaner - sure that the computers are working on atomic energy. Carries mop directly on the power cord, causing hysteria system administrator. On Saturday goes overtime to wipe all the office monitors acetone. He likes to give advice to the General, calling him "son." In the office, she is not afraid of almost no one can come in the midst of the meeting and begin to wash floors, pushing a mop heads, and a tambourine, "nasharkali here hrapoidoly." The only person whom she is frightened, it:
Chief Accountant - believes that it is only in the office working. Offended if heard in a conversation the word "bitch" for some reason, it takes him at his own expense. Very serious, but it can sometimes make a joke about the debit balance. Jokes only understand people with accounting education. But all laugh. Just in case. Less aware of all but the loudest rejoice:
Director General - our "genius", affectionately call his staff: Shirt, tie, "Ford." Mobile phone, pager, two, ZIPPO lighters in the boot. It has a loud voice and reproducible signature. Usually it is only his dignity. Pleasing others only in a state of profound hangover when he took a couple of carafes of water, he was locked in his office, turns off the internal phone and sleeping hard. He somehow is the best computer in the office, although for solitaire enough and something simpler. For this he was fiercely hates:
The system administrator - sad look red-eye from the lenticular glasses. Sweater, filled with beer. It is the system administrator - the only person in the office, which is driven off the monitor cursor flies and wears a tie (he is afraid that one day it will tighten in the shredder, next will face fellow, but no help). Sysadmin lives surrounded by users. This is his main problem. Nick constantly open letter to viruses. If they warn: "Do not open the letter with the title" I love you »- is a virus! & Quot ;, the nick these letters first discover that to see how this virus looks: Give sysadmin will - it will close all access Internet, iznichtozhit email splyashet jig on "Tetris" and "ball", and then will introduce a system of corporal punishment. Knowing this, I will not give the sysadmin. But the most oppressed person office, certainly:
Driver - tantalum with their anguish before the office driver - just pathetic whimpering boy. On any drunk, attends General (and he visits them a lot, in order of labor discipline) in the car is on duty this Knight of the Sorrowful Countenance. If you come to the restaurant in the evening, you can see it at the highest point of torment. While General drinking cognac and doubly fork catches of shrimp in a salad, the driver smokes one after another, and highlights the gastric juice. Gastritis, yellow face, bags under the eyes: And what burning epithets he rewards the boss! If Michurin saw being corresponding to these epithets, he scored his selection, he would go to the taxi drivers. Driver support in the car pathological purity. Take the interior allowed only after you put on slippers. The driver seems to me a mussel, which I unceremoniously climbed a half shell. He immediately envelops me with something that will never be a gem. And do not try to slam the door! Its internal current sharahnet he zatryasёtsya, Zasip and begin to secrete gastric juice. And he - gastritis. Yes, if you want to smoke - lean out of the window on the back.
The secretary - outraged when her so-called. She is a secretary. The main activity - telephone and fax. It looks important matter like this: Concerned Manager (calling on the intercom): "Helen, type Syzran, Ivan Ivanovich, very hot" secretary "O'key! (gaining Syzran) Ale! Good afternoon! Verunchik Hey, how's it going?
What is your baboon? (it is about the chief) What are you talking about ?! I bought myself a new jacket ... no - zhёltenkuyu (within 10 minutes of discussion blouse, lipstick and tomatoes, tights and "Colgate"). Listen, connect with Ivan Ivanovitch went home ...? Long? Just? Well, happily! And spit on this fool - will find another! (Number to be dialed concerns manager.) Ale! Ivan Ivanovitch had just left home, you're a little late. (On the phone heard the distinctive sound - Concerned manager tries to hang on a telephone wire.) The theater begins with a hanger, and an office with a secretary that all hangers give a hundred points ahead. Next to the secretary is usually:
The guard - he is stern and square. Looking guard always thoughtful - he himself mentally builds in single file, and converts to the first - the second. He walks around the office and looks as if something happens. And extinguishes extra bulb. To avoid. When someone comes out of the toilet cubicles, there comes a guard for a long time looking into the foaming water bowl. Suddenly, to the secret documents washed away. Or attempt to penetrate from the outside. There have been precedents. The guard - biceps office. This is a great and thoughtful. While he thinks it past the troublesome fly snuёt:
Manager of the ordinary - the word we like to call anyone. Manager disinfection - that means the cleaning lady. Managers are very fond of different balalaika phrases such as "branding", "breynstormy." But take his bright tie and demand to explain - what, for example, "franchising". You never know. And in general - managers funny people. Friendly and hardworking they run on smoke breaks and lunch, and at other times create monstrous traffic forwarding, each friend jokes: If the manager to tear off the team and put in a separate room, he quickly run wild and in its place there:
The manager concerned - it can always be recognized by the colored sticky paper. These three layers plastered monitor, shelves, walls, phone. On pieces of paper written something very valuable. Manager disinfection afraid to shake his wastebasket - suddenly there important documents? It comes before all and often spends the night in the office, when you open its door to the corridor crawls cubic concentrated smoke fills the room before. Every three months he begins to struggle with paper dvornicheski snowdrifts lying on the desk, shelves, monitor, the floor on the second table and stool in the corner. In the process of cleaning, he stumbles upon a plate of cake and otsementivshimsya old magazine crossword puzzles. Opening it at random, anxious manager thinks about the question, "bearded zernoupakovka" of five letters, trying to write the word "gopher", and then goes to consult the office. Cleaning completed successfully. If you give him some urgent paper, you can not worry about her fate - she will take its rightful place in the sediments of paper on his desk. And no one likes, even:
Cleaner - sure that the computers are working on atomic energy. Carries mop directly on the power cord, causing hysteria system administrator. On Saturday goes overtime to wipe all the office monitors acetone. He likes to give advice to the General, calling him "son." In the office, she is not afraid of almost no one can come in the midst of the meeting and begin to wash floors, pushing a mop heads, and a tambourine, "nasharkali here hrapoidoly." The only person whom she is frightened, it:
Chief Accountant - believes that it is only in the office working. Offended if heard in a conversation the word "bitch" for some reason, it takes him at his own expense. Very serious, but it can sometimes make a joke about the debit balance. Jokes only understand people with accounting education. But all laugh. Just in case. Less aware of all but the loudest rejoice:
Director General - our "genius", affectionately call his staff: Shirt, tie, "Ford." Mobile phone, pager, two, ZIPPO lighters in the boot. It has a loud voice and reproducible signature. Usually it is only his dignity. Pleasing others only in a state of profound hangover when he took a couple of carafes of water, he was locked in his office, turns off the internal phone and sleeping hard. He somehow is the best computer in the office, although for solitaire enough and something simpler. For this he was fiercely hates:
The system administrator - sad look red-eye from the lenticular glasses. Sweater, filled with beer. It is the system administrator - the only person in the office, which is driven off the monitor cursor flies and wears a tie (he is afraid that one day it will tighten in the shredder, next will face fellow, but no help). Sysadmin lives surrounded by users. This is his main problem. Nick constantly open letter to viruses. If they warn: "Do not open the letter with the title" I love you »- is a virus! & Quot ;, the nick these letters first discover that to see how this virus looks: Give sysadmin will - it will close all access Internet, iznichtozhit email splyashet jig on "Tetris" and "ball", and then will introduce a system of corporal punishment. Knowing this, I will not give the sysadmin. But the most oppressed person office, certainly:
Driver - tantalum with their anguish before the office driver - just pathetic whimpering boy. On any drunk, attends General (and he visits them a lot, in order of labor discipline) in the car is on duty this Knight of the Sorrowful Countenance. If you come to the restaurant in the evening, you can see it at the highest point of torment. While General drinking cognac and doubly fork catches of shrimp in a salad, the driver smokes one after another, and highlights the gastric juice. Gastritis, yellow face, bags under the eyes: And what burning epithets he rewards the boss! If Michurin saw being corresponding to these epithets, he scored his selection, he would go to the taxi drivers. Driver support in the car pathological purity. Take the interior allowed only after you put on slippers. The driver seems to me a mussel, which I unceremoniously climbed a half shell. He immediately envelops me with something that will never be a gem. And do not try to slam the door! Its internal current sharahnet he zatryasёtsya, Zasip and begin to secrete gastric juice. And he - gastritis. Yes, if you want to smoke - lean out of the window on the back.
