As signs of the Zodiac make repairs

Universal Wisdom "two fires better than one repair" is absolutely true for all zodiac signs. But some signs go further and change in the above wisdom, the word "fire" in the phrase "nuclear explosion».


Capricorn does repair thoroughly. First, it calculates the estimate. Then multiplies it by two (yes, Capricorn realizes that the estimate should be multiplied by two). After that saves money. And only then it goes to hardware store where the staff amazing adventures begin. First Sales Manager condescendingly chuckles and offers to watch something else, but not that demanded Capricorn.

An hour later, visibly nervous, sales manager says that they do not have wallpaper with pearl buttons, they have no wallpaper with buttons, which buttons the same wallpaper! Two hours later the manager is on his knees, crying, saying: "I face them or what?". But Capricorn knows exactly what he wants, so by the end of the day sweating and sobbing manager bears wallpaper with pearl buttons and Capricorn cheerfully whistling, goes home, where he was waiting for yet light-hearted team of builders, has no idea what amazing adventures await them ahead .


Aquarius does repair accident. There were no signs of trouble - Aquarius just went to visit an old friend. And that quite by chance recently to make repairs. And so it began - Oh, what a nice little tile, and where taken, and how much, uh ... really cheap ... After that, armed with phone vendors nice little tile and working with straight arms, Aquarius comes home and tells the unsuspecting households that can not live but with the new tiles - possible. Households timidly say that there is no money for repairs. Aquarius thinks for a moment and sends them to rob a bank. Aquarius does not have to think about stupid things. Aquarius should be washed in the bathroom with beautiful tiles.


Fish make repairs on a large scale. There are broken, then expand, get a lot of space and air. And over in the corner, we would stand quietly aquarium. Behemoth. Inspired Fish polkvartiry crushes, and then she suddenly, without declaration of war, the money runs out. As a result, fish year stumble on the tiles in the hallway, promising himself that next month I is exactly here honestly, finish. And while Fish-winded and very convincingly explain the shocked guests that stripped tile in the kitchen - it's such a newfangled concept of "red pill" from the creators of "The Matrix." And, characteristically, some led signs, looking at this trash, start cautiously to think that maybe I am a stir?


Aries makes repair forever. Because Aries are not exchanged on the little things - everything must be perfect. But the budget. But perfect. Therefore Aries will examine all the available range of the city - from drawing up the hooks in the bathroom - as if he'd paid for it. Aries quickly find out where the discounts, where savings coupons, and where the action is "buy a Jacuzzi - get a hair dryer for half».

A month later, administrators stores Aries learn not only voice, but also perseverance call. Not surprisingly, the repair is progressing slowly - until a wall is not an ideal, Aries will not go to the second. Because "it is my fortress, I live here, I need to plug half centimeter higher." As a result, until the end of repair Aries rarely live - or die of old age, or their neighbors killed.


Taurus does repair with great difficulty. Because, unfortunately, the repair involves spending money. And for the right of Taurus there is nothing worse than to part with money. The second problem is that the Taurus is physically necessary to make them improve the universe existed forever. Consequently, the materials needed to repair neat, forever. And they are expensive.

Two of these problems have been enough for the Big Bang, but there is a third: if the surrounding area looks poor little Taurus, Taurus is very difficult in this bomzhatnik. A wealthy space worth more money. It is a vicious circle, in which there is absolutely intolerable for the Taurus. As a result, Taurus supernova explodes, generously pouring accidents households shards of hot gas. And while the repair is not finished, the living envy the dead.


Twins doing repair spontaneously. They are able to remodel a kitchen entirely just because the color of the walls is not compatible with the new magnet on the refrigerator. Or, for example, twins accidentally entered a supermarket in the building, because it wanted to use the toilet. And accidentally bought a chandelier. It was beautiful !!! But blue. A green wallpaper. Not neatly. The twins do not like when you do not neatly. And it really is easier to change the wallpaper, than part with the new chandelier.

The problem is that the Twins do not know how to save money at a time and pull as much as a repair for them is problematic. But is that a reason not to do repairs? Yes, right now! Accordingly, the twins live in eclectic homes, where it can be both ultra-modern balcony insulation, triple glazed windows and wallpaper in the form of old newspapers (they were beautiful !!!) and completely destroyed by the time of King Khrushchev kitchen, where even the cockroaches go disdain.


Cancer makes repairs technically. Cancers are generally very practical beings who can lovingly keep long-term relations. Accordingly, they have another brother classmate who admirably puts tile, sister-in-law and her first husband, an electrician who from God. In addition, well-developed cancer abstract thinking and memory, so they are easy to define what a wallpaper from the first store is perfect a laminate of a second. And do not make mistakes. That is, things could go well and painlessly. If Cancers do not interfere.

Rakov problem is that they are very attached to his family, and it will certainly find some twins who does not fit the ideal kitchen, scheduled Cancer. Yes, because it is not combined with magnets on the refrigerator! Cancer and accidents forced to rush between his love for his own family and a sense of beauty. Do not touch Cancer, for God's sake, and all will be well.


Leo does repair with a twinkle. Lions love any dvizhuhu and repair - it is such dvizhuha with which even the embassy reception in Monaco beats. Leo is absolutely not straining strangers in dirty uniforms, marking that from morning till night at his home. It's slaves! They can be pushed around! What could be better? As a rule, fall into the whirlpool repair all close Leo, especially those who have a car or who are able to move the wardrobe and drag on the ninth floor without elevator piano. Too close to be pushed around!

Even if the repair is delayed, and builders are desperately frustrating time - for Lion is absolutely no reason to panic and to spoil his mood. Leo calmly with a smile Jesuit flips burgers with a spatula, a fine foreman on a weekly salary and feels perfectly happy.


Virgo makes repair thoroughly. "Let's just pokleit wallpaper" - is the Virgin, at best, confusion, and usually - disgust. Who is "just wallpaper glue?" Then the wiring change - we will rip them, or what? And the walls have to align. And the new socket. And the ceiling. And curtains. If the Virgin there is the slightest possibility to do on their own, without hiring a team of builders, the Virgin certainly will do so.

Because the construction team - people. A people can not be trusted, that even a child knows. Although mandatory, associated with the repair, the problem of the Virgin, in the depths of the soul, love to do the repairs. Because the head is busy all the time and emotions overflowing. A Virgin emotions are necessary as air. For Virgo no emotion - it is a Capricorn.


For weight maintenance - hell, begins with a hanger store decor elements. Hangers fifteen. Fifteen different types of hangers, damn them to hell. How to choose? What is the stand the nerves? And these were just some lousy hangers, and there is still the wallpaper, tiles, tile, carpet, Mom, I want to handle. The balance may be held in the hardware store four hours but did not buy. And managers of this store swear on each other's blood, which never suited to the customer with a question: "Do you do anything to help?».

A balance, in the meantime, go to the designer, so he bought it yourself. But this moron puts before Libra album with photos of work done and said in a human voice: "Choose." The balance with a pleasant smile dismember the designer, his remains were dissolved in hydrochloric acid and fly to Goa, to drink all the money set aside for repairs and did not suffer.


Scorpio makes repairs so as not like the others. No pop, hardcore only. They stylize their apartments under the Wild West, under the artsy East or under the ascetic housing of the Samurai. No standard Eurorepair! For Scorpio in the order of things break down the wall so that the hot tub on the balcony stood up.

Lying in the foam and watching the city at night - for things like these are born scorpions. If Scorpio can draw (and Scorpios are usually able to), he will paint the walls. But even if he can not, then he tries to take an active part in the process. Scorpions are not afraid of dirty work, they believe that when the silk penyuarchik acetone smell - it's even a little courtesy. By the way, let him come to me, baby - on a pile of stripped wallpaper you and I have never did not do it.


Sagittarius makes repairs timidly. And economically. Therefore, he has to control the process - it would never hire a design company that makes all the key. Sagittarius hire Kesha uncle, who was making friends. And it will go for the tail uncle, saying: "Excuse me," "Thank you!" And "Oh, it is, like, came out crooked ... No? Excuse me, please, thank you very much! ". Uncle Kesha these intellectuals can smell a mile away, so do everything to unhook (yes, there was another word), and the repair will fail and brake as Linux. A couple of years Sagittarius is bored and he will hire Uncle Gosha. And asked to do without the punch - and then the neighbors uncomfortable.


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