All programmers with a holiday!

Chapter 1. Why is your choice - the best
Dear girls and women, you have decided to marry a programmer? You made the right choice, indicating the presence of you have a sharp mind and a delicate taste. Let's try to justify this apparent thought a few examples.

. Programmer combines the best features of a person with Down syndrome and a sea captain. Every night (except for the night when he IHTELlektualno communicate with other programmers) he is at home on the computer, but at the same time, his thoughts far away.

2. When he came home at the time, how do you communicate with your (or someone else's, no difference) lover, suffice it to say: "My dear, this is my colleague. He knows nothing about computers. "The only disadvantage that you will experience is that the lover will offer next time to meet him.

3. If you suddenly want to smoke or drink, he will not deny you this, because he does it all the time.

4. It will never annoy you that when you are tired, cook dinner, he lies on the couch, staring at the newspaper or the TV. The programmer knows the place better than any trained dogs. It is - the computer.

5. You will never have to think about what to give him a holiday. In any event it will be insanely happy simple box Floppies his beloved company.

6. You do not have tormented the evening on what to cook him for dinner. Programmers are omnivorous.

Chapter 2. How to make your dream
If your chosen withstood all of your checks on usefulness (some of the tests are given in the next chapter), then it will get easier. But we dare to give you some advice.

1. Having come to visit him, ask him to show you his archive. If he has less than 128 floppy disks, it is still too young for marriage. If the disk had more than 512, then it is either married or have divorced. (Applicable in geometric progression. Owner 1024 diskettes can be divorced twice, and the owner of 2048 - three times.) If he will show you a tape device (the device is), then, in principle, it is possible to hunt, but know that he - Major . Well, and if he would mumble that his archives have devoured viruses, gophers or moles, or say that his archive at work, VERY carefully read you next chapter.

2. Find out when the mail-time at his favorite bibieskah. Then you will not be tormented on why he did not call time. You will always know when he will call you (typically - at five o'clock in the morning). And he will not take offense at you for your children's resentment.

3. At night before the wedding unplug its neighborhood. Hichego terrible there that if the wedding will be grim. The main thing - it will be at the wedding.

4. Try to spend their honeymoon in a place where there is no power supply. And then try not to be sad all my life, thinking that month.

Chapter 3. How to distinguish a fake
In recent years, the Chinese underground pirate companies produce a lot of imitations of our products. Hekotorye of these fakes are not even visible external defects and have a normal shape of the eyes, and the system is quite red eyes and nose. Not revealing all the secrets of our company describe several tests to distinguish our product from the fake.

1. Girls without complexes can use test for the rejection of the most flagrant fakes. Ask the man who claims that he is a programmer, you show your pisyuk. If he will show you something different from the PC, you can slap him and drive away.

2. Being alone with a verifiable say the phrase: & quot; Mom Native! & Quot; or "own mother!". Hastoyaschego programmer immediately say, "Where? .." And begin to look around in search of the board.

3. Invite your chosen somewhere where there is a computer and put next to the computer floppy disk. If the disk will not appear immediately in the drive or a pocket or your partner, even if he does not ask that on this floppy, it's a fake.

4. In the worst possible moment to ask him questions like: "My favorite, and Hai diskette - this is a good or bad?" Or "My dear, that you do if you were given by Frech?". Hastoyaschego programmer answers to such questions in any state.

5. If the answer to your words: "Honey, I want you to remember me in all my life!" He drags you out of bed, and the scanner - it's a real programmer.

6. Somehow, being alone with him, ask him somewhere to scribble on the memory word of three letters - Int. If he writes INT - it quicly if write int - an applied, but if you ask, "Do you have those initials?" - Chase out.

Chapter 4. Operating Instructions
The latest study, researchers found that the programmers - creative nature. Therefore, they are tender, thin-skinned, and you need to treat them with great care. Otherwise, you can ruin our product, or to be beaten itself, or may occur disintegration of the Union (the family rather than the republics).

1. Hikogda not put their interests ahead of his interests. If you want a mink coat, and he's going to the money to buy expensive peripherals not ustaivayte scandals - he will not succumb. Better to say, "Honey, let's buy me a fur coat, and then I'll put this coat and you'll do with my wonderful SIFCO!»

2. Census programmer show Dendy, but do not give up. He immediately becomes better, but do not let it break Dendy - it still is useful to you the next time.

3. Try to study their language. Haprimer, in terms of programming, "Are you ohrenel at your computer? How long can you wait in bed? "Sounds like: & quot; Are you not react to interrupt? I have now in bed IRQ0 whole system will hang! & Quot;

4. If it works, try not to include both in the same outlet iron, electric kettle, electric tongs, a TV, a washing machine, etc. The programmer, unpreserved its program is STRASHEH !!!

5. Try to memorize the sound of a connection (or, if your husband sysop, then call sysop for spruce). This can be useful to you in many situations. Haprimer, the husband comes into the kitchen and needs are, and dinner is not ready. Whistler this magical musical phrase and you'll be pleasantly surprised at how quickly it disappears from the kitchen, rushed to his computer.