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Warlord.

This story happened in the eighties of the last century, one of the units, among other regalia proudly wearing the Order of Kutuzov on Banner (yes, with a capital letter!).

Some went to the very important from the point of view of strategy, tactics and strengthen the combat capability of our invincible and legendary teachings, so its location were only inveterate raspizdyai, away from sin, because the latter could shoot not towards a potential enemy, and very contrary.
The exercises were conducted successfully, so they end ceremony was held at the construction of the Banner to encourage distinguished.

Part is slender columns pobatalonno, by companies and platoons, the regimental band plays rousing marches, the mood is upbeat at all, and then the commander, standing at Banner discovers a disorder. No, not burnt lobster banner and gold letters on it is not dimmed, but there was something obviously wrong ...
The commander thinks long and hard, flows into the cognitive dissonance, and suddenly with all the bitter clearly realize that the Banner entrusted to him of the Order of Kutuzov lacks this most orders! Well, is not it! He disappeared. Evaporate. The commander came closer, his eyes shut, then opened his eyes again, hoping in my heart that this is only an optical illusion. Order was not! He repeated the exercise again, and then painfully pinched his thigh. Obsession is not passed. In place of the Order gaping small hole. Umyknuli order. 've Stole. Bitches!

 - A, b ...! - Is spread over the heads of the soldiers roar commander. I do not know how the lion shouts, please eggs in the trap, cleverly staged - and golozhopymi black natives of the continent, but I think the roar of the commander was much, much stronger and more emotional. Partly coming out of shock, powerful chest, he scored in his breath, and ...
"That b ..! Five minutes later, b ...! Quickly, b ..! Bullet, b ...! If only...! What nah! Vye ... b! Ass, b ...! In the UK, in the n ... y flag tear! All b ..! Without anesthesia, nah! ", After which a very figurative and very lucidly advised that cruelly and without the use of lubricants otsodomiruet one and all, with showed enviable men's consistency and familiarity with the military Kama Sutra, sounds and gestures showing how and in which it positions it will uestestvlyat personnel.
When the Colonel at the time stopped, only to collect another batch run out of air in the powerful light for the second part Marlezonskogo ballet, everything seemed as if appelplats, slowly shuffling, crossed a Northern fur chubby small mammal that is not characteristic for the local latitudes that moves, mocker sticking his pink tongue.

After the grand start of the global flaring Anal Shmona. The entire unit was on the ears, worn by dropping loose stools cloacal and foam from the sides. Checks all tables, all possible nychki all technological holes of equipment and personnel, even latrines latrines. Order was not! Not five minutes later, or half an hour or a day.
After a week of intense searching, it became clear that there is no hope. None. Complete hopelessness.

The commander of grief bathed to the state of the vacuum cleaner. Ogrebli, of course, everything. Who was reprimanded who rigorous. Zampolit ogrёb warning service incompetence. The duty on the part of, had the misfortune to that fateful day to serve, had to pull out a particularly harsh and sad counting stars on the shoulder straps, bitterly noting their loss to himself. It is only ten years after that Pugacheva to sing Kuzmin:
"At midnight the sky in the sky spring
Fell two star-s-s
Falling stars with a bright glow
In the morning the gardens-s-s »

But as they say, life goes on. After about six months, this story is not so much forgotten, just muddy sediment left on the souls of warriors, the pain of the loss subsided. And then I arrived demobilization.
Dembel! This sweet moment that await all conscripts from hopeless zadrochennogo dushary to seasoned experiences "grandfather».

Dembel! Oh, that feeling close to orgasm! In my dreams have already heard the sound of the wheels of the train, the station's nostrils caught the smells of the restaurant, and the bowels feel Dicks compliant sheaths. "Dem-bel! Dem-Bel! "- Beating heart. Everything is ready for the long-awaited MIGU - lovingly pokleit photographs and painted with dembelsky album paradki carefully aligned with the canons adopted in ancient times, are wound from cords intricate aiguillettes to time prityrennye in suitcases, by hook or by crook extracted icons honors, soldiers, athletes and so on.

Thunders the regimental band. Shine pipe and face. Commander in farewell, pass by the guards of going to the citizen. Breast vypyachena valiantly, heads - strictly under the Charter! - Rotated at a certain angle, chest burn these same icons showing high achievements in the difficult military labor, and then ...

Looking commander rests on standing on the left flank of small (soplёy pereshibёsh!) And does not have the free mat two words in Russian born very central Asia, whose chest of gold burn badges "Honorary Librarian" and "first category freestyle wrestling" and between them ...

The commander closed his eyes, unable to believe his good fortune. Then he opened his eyes. Again his eyes shut, pinched his thigh. There was no doubt - on the chest lybyaschegosya as stool, Asian proudly flashed Order of Kutuzov! The same!
 - Eeeeeee ... - passionate commander bellowed, pointing at his chest order bearer.
 - Uuuuuuuu ... - he replied in the affirmative political officer, has not forgotten the humiliating anal pain from warnings about incomplete official.
 - Aaaaaaa, b ...! - Chorus. And not a descendant of Tamerlane resisting carcass dragged to the NKVD.

If that happened half a year earlier, the commander would have killed an Uzbek fuck, then raised to, and then killed the fuck followed by raspetrushil be in small chips, and the chips would be sent home poplars and melons.

The inquiry was brief. One Uzbek, stood guard at the flag part, seizing the moment, simply screw together with the banner of the Order. Once, when the nix to the skies over, "ohuenama beautiful icon" was traded countryman, who, during the unfortunate events turn over the hospital, suffering from severe diarrhea, in a glass of nostalgic gandzhubasa with the motherland or the new "dembelsky cap." As a result, the brace is not a child of the East has gone into a full edge of the hot sun and the far north - in a disciplinary battalion.

Renard told © inetsolomon & Sturm





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