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Memories of birth
Went into labor, wake her husband, saying everything is time, call an ambulance. He woke up ... Stand up ... Then he lay down and said ... neeee, come morning, I want to sleep!
Just had a baby, again fights (afterbirth comes out). I knew everything about childbirth, but the fact that children's place "give birth" as a child, with fights and vain attempts did not pay attention, then revised the books that read before delivery, so there really is described, but somehow I did it, did not pay attention . I'm a doctor - there's a second child? One was on US! I say, do not worry mom, it's a children's place, it's not a child. I will not rest until I have shown that I was there for the second time giving birth.
I did not scream during childbirth, it hurt terribly, but I did not have time to brush your teeth, so did not open his mouth, it was a shame that his mouth stinks.
Gave birth to her husband in private clinics. My husband and I sat in the waiting room, the nurse comes with a mug Esmarch, says the so quickly on the enema. Jumps husband and goes to her, a nurse in shock. He then said, I thought that dads do an enema, that would fear not managed it.
All pregnancy wanted a boy, show the child immediately after birth, and ask the floor. Boy talking confidently, only pipiska not yet climbed. The doctor gently asked: -Where did not come out? In his intonation realize that something is wrong ... then realized I say, understood everything, the girl I
After birth, calling her husband, son otmuchilas say everything you have. He said: - Oh well, what time to come pick you up? Vyrugnulas, say yes right now ... and the truth came to pick up)))
Gave birth to her husband and paid midwife. Husband wildly scared for me and for yourself ... Somewhere in an hour before the midwife had a daughter says, "Okay, you sit here for five minutes, and I'll prepare the table" (she meant maternity table). Husband: "And then what will celebrate chtol?" ... So in all seriousness ... midwife laughed for a long time.
Girlfriend gave birth to 19 years, in fact she was still a child, with large blue eyes naive. Resorted to the hospital with contractions, there is filled with a card asking: - Your Name (responsible) - age (responsible) - "HIV, syphilis, hepatitis? - (Very thoughtfully) No, thank you !!! Doctor (furious): I do not propose !!!
I would not want to go into details, but I'll write. We were three of us in the House. I called my husband. I talk to him on the phone ... At this point, a neighbor in the ward in the toilet ... (sorry) ... farts (very loud) ... I and another neighbor starts to laugh. And she heard our laughter also started to laugh, pripukivaya out of the closet. A few seconds of silence ... And laugh at the whole ward !!! Husband on the other end said something ... And then yells, "NO I do not understand where are you ????? You're at the bar ?? I hear music and drunken voices !!!! "At this point I interrupted our conversation, they just could not speak of a terrible and hysterical laughter.
I gave birth to a modest girl. I lie and yell and monotonically as a pager cheeps. I apologized and said & quot; I'll shout, okay? & quot; it & quot; yell, I'm so easily & quot ;. and growled again ... But I screamed so that the next morning the whole hospital looked who sleep all did not give (it's about me). And about neё- plumber mother's prenatal morning and asked to see someone so arched tube ....))))))
All persuasions doctor "push" my body responded complete misunderstanding. Neither of 5 years at the university, nor knowledge of languages, no more life experience - nothing helped. And then the doctor said one magic word ... cocoa. And then I understood everything!
Contractions were already very strong and bolnyuchie. I semiconscious asked me to put down, and received the answer that only euthanized cats and dogs.
Everything was a blur. I only remember a stick from the iron bed that I accidentally broken off and tried to hide.
And I'm on all fours to crawl back from the doctor. I caught and said, well, they do not feel ashamed! I was not ashamed. When shown the child and asked to voice full I was indignant. I have minus five - I do not see the child!
First daughter gave birth to a 5 course. Say, climb on a chair while asking some questions of "when and how" to fill their papers ... and then the question "was hemorrhoids?" Me: "Sure was !!! especially with physics! ". I thought all were dead with laughter, ask again: "The disease was hemorrhoids ???" Me: "What's that ??"
At this time, someone started to cry with laughter ...
Familiar (for heavily managerial position) to give birth. Long, hard ... Steel sew and injected anesthesia. Apparently fatigue "given in the head" and she sewed up the doctor and midwife in coma: "So, tomorrow the two explanatory notes on my desk .." and passed out.
via blog.i.ua
Source:
Just had a baby, again fights (afterbirth comes out). I knew everything about childbirth, but the fact that children's place "give birth" as a child, with fights and vain attempts did not pay attention, then revised the books that read before delivery, so there really is described, but somehow I did it, did not pay attention . I'm a doctor - there's a second child? One was on US! I say, do not worry mom, it's a children's place, it's not a child. I will not rest until I have shown that I was there for the second time giving birth.
I did not scream during childbirth, it hurt terribly, but I did not have time to brush your teeth, so did not open his mouth, it was a shame that his mouth stinks.
Gave birth to her husband in private clinics. My husband and I sat in the waiting room, the nurse comes with a mug Esmarch, says the so quickly on the enema. Jumps husband and goes to her, a nurse in shock. He then said, I thought that dads do an enema, that would fear not managed it.
All pregnancy wanted a boy, show the child immediately after birth, and ask the floor. Boy talking confidently, only pipiska not yet climbed. The doctor gently asked: -Where did not come out? In his intonation realize that something is wrong ... then realized I say, understood everything, the girl I
After birth, calling her husband, son otmuchilas say everything you have. He said: - Oh well, what time to come pick you up? Vyrugnulas, say yes right now ... and the truth came to pick up)))
Gave birth to her husband and paid midwife. Husband wildly scared for me and for yourself ... Somewhere in an hour before the midwife had a daughter says, "Okay, you sit here for five minutes, and I'll prepare the table" (she meant maternity table). Husband: "And then what will celebrate chtol?" ... So in all seriousness ... midwife laughed for a long time.
Girlfriend gave birth to 19 years, in fact she was still a child, with large blue eyes naive. Resorted to the hospital with contractions, there is filled with a card asking: - Your Name (responsible) - age (responsible) - "HIV, syphilis, hepatitis? - (Very thoughtfully) No, thank you !!! Doctor (furious): I do not propose !!!
I would not want to go into details, but I'll write. We were three of us in the House. I called my husband. I talk to him on the phone ... At this point, a neighbor in the ward in the toilet ... (sorry) ... farts (very loud) ... I and another neighbor starts to laugh. And she heard our laughter also started to laugh, pripukivaya out of the closet. A few seconds of silence ... And laugh at the whole ward !!! Husband on the other end said something ... And then yells, "NO I do not understand where are you ????? You're at the bar ?? I hear music and drunken voices !!!! "At this point I interrupted our conversation, they just could not speak of a terrible and hysterical laughter.
I gave birth to a modest girl. I lie and yell and monotonically as a pager cheeps. I apologized and said & quot; I'll shout, okay? & quot; it & quot; yell, I'm so easily & quot ;. and growled again ... But I screamed so that the next morning the whole hospital looked who sleep all did not give (it's about me). And about neё- plumber mother's prenatal morning and asked to see someone so arched tube ....))))))
All persuasions doctor "push" my body responded complete misunderstanding. Neither of 5 years at the university, nor knowledge of languages, no more life experience - nothing helped. And then the doctor said one magic word ... cocoa. And then I understood everything!
Contractions were already very strong and bolnyuchie. I semiconscious asked me to put down, and received the answer that only euthanized cats and dogs.
Everything was a blur. I only remember a stick from the iron bed that I accidentally broken off and tried to hide.
And I'm on all fours to crawl back from the doctor. I caught and said, well, they do not feel ashamed! I was not ashamed. When shown the child and asked to voice full I was indignant. I have minus five - I do not see the child!
First daughter gave birth to a 5 course. Say, climb on a chair while asking some questions of "when and how" to fill their papers ... and then the question "was hemorrhoids?" Me: "Sure was !!! especially with physics! ". I thought all were dead with laughter, ask again: "The disease was hemorrhoids ???" Me: "What's that ??"
At this time, someone started to cry with laughter ...
Familiar (for heavily managerial position) to give birth. Long, hard ... Steel sew and injected anesthesia. Apparently fatigue "given in the head" and she sewed up the doctor and midwife in coma: "So, tomorrow the two explanatory notes on my desk .." and passed out.
via blog.i.ua
Source:
