Jokes (Many) Bashny.Net

Manager addict did at the office desk two tracks of cocaine. Vnyuhnul one. He dragged. I was going to blow a second when the phone rang. Taking the tube:
 - Wait, I have a second line.

 - Grandchildren, let's play! I will guess where you hid my false teeth, and you will only meet me "hot / cold».
 - Come on, Grandpa!
 - In his room?
 - It's cold.
 - In the hallway?
 - Heat.
 - In the toilet?
 - Still warm.
 - Around the toilet?
 - It's hot.
 - The cistern?
 - Very hot. Well, Grandpa, that's enough, I'll show you. Just let me out of the oven!

He took the cat guy. He decided to leave the cat in the woods. Stuffed cat in the car and drove into the forest ...
Four hours later, a man calls his wife:
 - The cat came back from the forest?
 - Yes. A long time ago.
 - Give him the phone, I lost!

I plum purple, ripe garden!
 - I apricot, grew up in the south!
 - I Tomato! Together we orchard!
Girl runs:
 - Fruits do not have any dick, drink juice "My Family"!
 - Girl, hopping can be repeated? "I feyhuya, drink juice," My Family "!»
Runs again:
 - And I have no dick fairy, drink juice "My Family"!
 - A girl, not without a dick, but simply - feyhuya!
Runs again:
 - I'm just not dick, drink juice "My family»!

Crest drags home a rabbit and says to his wife:
 - On, I roast it on fat.
 - So in fact we do not have bacon ...
 - So fry it in oil.
 - We do not have oil.
 - So I fried it just like that!
 - Oh, and we have no gas.
Crest silently takes a rabbit and threw out his window. Hare jumps up and yells:
 - Long live free Ukraine!

Further, a large collection of anecdotes from d3lord:

2050. Armament was very difficult, so the army is completely
Professional and elite. University 1 course. Two students.
 - Well, that soldier? Also expelled from the army?

Water has no taste, no taste, no color, no smell ...
While Mendeleev not added any alcohol in it.

In physics and mathematics seminar Ashot Aganesyan with the ball and thimbles
He refuted the theory of probability.

Petrosyan - jokes for those who do not have Internet.

The most popular questions in the operation of the VAZ - is "Where is
brain and grow from the hands of those,
who designed and assembled this miracle? »

Summary of the final Harry Potter book:
"Harry Potter and the New Universe»:
There was the final battle of Harry and Voldemort. Dark wizard defeated, but
Harry completely lost his memory.
He started a new life among ordinary people: working as a programmer in a solid
the company from time to time hakerstvuya - for the soul. Harry has a different name, but on
former times there was only a desire for a long cloak and a strange feeling that
the world that something is wrong ...
So, it is Morpheus ...

Her husband returned from a business trip. Wife, slightly breathless from the stormy meeting,
so gently:
 - Honey, maybe try to swing?
 - And what is it?
 - Well ... I told a friend ... This is a sex foursome.
 - My favorite, of course! Come on !!!
Wife happily shouts:
 - Peter! Kolya! Velezayte out of the closet!

Overnight, the Park of Culture, swaying bushes everywhere. There is a police patrol stops
near the bushes:
 - According to an agreement? - Asks a sergeant in the bushes.
 - According to an agreement, by consent, - a man's voice answers.
 - Do not you idiot, ask! - Angry policeman.
 - According to an agreement, by consent, - a woman's voice answers.
Policemen move on, stop in a dark place in the bushes.
 - According to an agreement? - Asks the sergeant into the bushes again.
 - According to an agreement, by consent, - a man's voice answers.
 - Do not you idiot, ask! - Angry policeman.
 - According to an agreement, with the consent of, - says the other man's voice.
Go on, stop at the following shrubs:
 - According to an agreement?
Male voice: - According to an agreement!
 - Yes, hell, you do not ask!
The same voice: - I'm here alone!

In order to meet the sick, clinic No. 6 decided to make their services
free-to-pay. On this Monday in the manipulation room enema
They give it for free.
But the toilet opposite will work only for money.