How to avoid conflict with your child: 14 wise ways

Modern parenting is not an easy task that requires not only huge emotional resources.
But also a flexible approach to education. On the one hand, we want to give children the freedom to develop.
On the other hand, we need to instill in them norms of behavior and boundaries.
As a result, there are conflicts in families: whims, stubbornness, disagreement with the rules.
But there are wise strategies to avoid unnecessary tension and nurture healthy ones.
trusting relationship with the child. Here are 14 ways to make communication with children more harmonious.




1. Show respect for the individual
Like any adult, a child wants to be treated with understanding.
Let them feel that their opinion matters, even if it doesn’t always match yours.
Listen to the end, ask clarifying questions, show empathy for the experiences of the child.
This strengthens your sense of your own worth and trust in you.


2. Don't suppress, guide.
If you go purely by force – ordering and punishing – most likely, children will begin to resist.
Try to explain the reason for the ban or request. Show the logic:
Why is it important to do homework, clean the room or go to bed on time?
This way they will understand that your word is not just a whim, but a reasonable necessity.


3. Listen more than you talk.
Sometimes the biggest problem with a child is the parents’ inability to hear.
Yes, you may be busy with work or household chores, but find a moment when your child talks about how they feel.
And just listen to him without criticism. Give him the opportunity to share his experiences, so you avoid explosive situations.


4. Offer a choice.
Often conflicts arise due to the child’s desire to feel independent.
If the situation allows, offer him several options for action:
“You can put away the toys now, or you can do it after you’ve had the juice. What do you want? ?
This is how your child learns to take responsibility for decisions, and you avoid aggressive pressure.




5. Take into account the age characteristics
The needs of a preschooler are very different from those of a teenager.
It may be important for a young child to just feel your support and physical intimacy.
The teenager demands recognition of his independence.
The attempt to “equate everyone to the same standard” often causes a storm of indignation and misunderstanding on the part of children.


6. Control your emotions.
Of course, the parent can also get tired, angry or upset.
But it is the adult who should set an example of emotional stability.
If you feel that you are on edge, try to take a break: get out of the room for a few minutes, do some breathing exercises.
What is important is a calm tone and a clear statement of your thoughts.


7. Ask, don't blame.
"Why didn't you do your homework again?" sounds accusatory.
“Is there a reason you didn’t do your homework on time?”
Such questions do not force the child into a defensive position and give him a chance to explain the situation without feeling guilty.


8. Do not compare with others.
Like, “Look how obedient Vasya is, and you....”
Or, “Your sister already knew how to...” can cause serious damage to self-esteem.
Every child is unique. Comparisons only breed jealousy, envy, and even greater hostility to the demands of parents.


9. Recognize and reward small victories
Instead of continual criticism for failures, try to notice the slightest progress and achievement.
Praise and approval help the child form a positive attitude towards themselves and their studies.
sport or other obligations. “It’s great that you wrote a letter to your grandmother this time!”
This phrase will create motivation for further development.


10. Use humor.
Sometimes the tension between parents and children can be defused with the most common joke.
Of course, it all depends on the situation: where there is a conversation about serious things, it is inappropriate to be distracted by laughter.
But a slight sense of humor often saves from excessive drama and helps to look at the problem from the outside.


11. Say the rules clearly.
A child may protest if he or she does not understand why it is necessary to adhere to certain norms.
Explain in advance, “You can watch TV until 8:00 p.m., because you can.” . . ,
On the street we go back at 9:00 because...
Specificity reduces the risk of misunderstanding and subsequent disputes.


12. Respect the child's feelings
When children are upset, hurt, or angry, don’t discount their emotions by saying, “Stop crying, you’re big!”
It makes sense to say, “I see you’re upset.” Do you want to talk about it?
This way you make it clear that you take your child’s feelings seriously and are willing to help.




13. Offer joint solutions
To avoid conflict, sometimes it is worth asking the child how he offers to cope with the situation.
For example, “What can we do to make cleaning a room more fun?”
This develops problem-solving skills and helps you feel connected.


14. Learn to admit mistakes
If at some point you yourself "broke" and told the child too much,
It is important to have the courage to apologize. “Sorry, I said harsh words to you because of my fatigue.”
- that's a very important phrase. It shows that adults can also make mistakes and are willing to correct themselves.
The child learns to value honesty and mutual respect.


Raising children is one of the most emotionally challenging missions of our lives.
However, if we recognize in advance that conflicts are inevitable and are armed with wise methods to prevent them,
There will be mutual trust and support in the family.
Remember, the strength of a parent is not in authoritarian pressure, but in the ability to remain calm.
Ready and open to dialogue even in the most difficult moments.