All my life my husband and I tried to provide for the children and raise them honest people, but they left me in old age.

Parents always yearn for their children to become people and live the lives of decent people. Therefore, they have to sacrifice their strength, energy and time in order to cultivate the right moral values in the new generation. Smart son. He will always come to the rescue and help the family in the most critical situation. A smart daughter will not sit on the sidelines either. But for this, you need to put a certain amount of effort into them. And without it, there's no way.



But it also happens that the character of the heirs can fail at the most inopportune moment. The reasons can be very different, ranging from the banal “vile” nature and ending with the wrong environment. Surely to find out, unfortunately, will not work. That is why many wealthy people prefer their children to attend private schools. No problems with their closest friends. Many of us have heard about situations when a child grew up as a normal, well-bred person. And then I got into bad company. And that's all, in the future of a round excellent student, you can safely put an end.

The wise son of Uzh could never have thought that if I lived to retire, I would become the most natural beggar. Because everything in my life was fine. My husband is fine and my children have always found a common language. Well, almost. I thought about money, like any sane person. But I was never afraid that they would simply disappear. After all, she saved money, and when her husband was still alive, we even traveled together. Looking back now, it doesn’t even immediately come to mind when exactly everything went awry.

First, our family has always been built on one simple principle: to achieve something you need to work hard. You can't just give someone a favor. It will only make him weaker. And it would be a disservice on your part, so no concessions can be made. I worked until the grayest hair. My husband was also fully invested in the development of the family. Sorry, I didn't live, my heart couldn't stand it.



Second, you need to always understand what you want, what your actions and motives will be, say, in a year or five years. In terms of work, for example, I always kept a special notebook and often wrote down my thoughts there. Children are also taught to keep diaries. So that they can always flip through their notes and see their own progress in life, in school, and then in work. This is how my parents taught me, and I try to advise everyone around me.

So it was kind of weird for me to read my daughter's notes about how they spend time with her boyfriend. When she graduated from school, she had a certain Dima. I did not see anything wrong in this: well, this age, walk, hold hands. She can't stay home forever. But now, judging by her thoughts in the diary, walking by the hand there they did not end everything. I wasn’t going to be a grandmother at the time. In fact, it's stupid. Put an end to your future because of hormones.



That's why I banned Lila, my daughter, from seeing her boyfriend. My husband supported me and I hoped the issue would be resolved. My daughter chose the worst of all possible options. Run away from home and move in with your boyfriend. This conflict lasted a year and a half: we found our daughter and took her back home. Then she ran away again. You should know how hard it is. But, in the end, it all ended with Lilya getting married. No one invited us to the wedding. I have not spoken to my daughter since then. I'm tired of running after her all the time, and I don't think her father's health was improved. So my decision was to cut off all of our communication and just accept the fact that in our future, the paths of mother and daughter will no longer cross.

So I turned my attention to my youngest son, Nikita. Honestly, with his studies, he did not have everything, thank God. That's why I asked my husband to do more with my son. But somewhere around that time, he started to feel bad. And so I took on my son with double power. Both of our children should not be allowed to grow up as hopeless people. I knew the guy was into football. But sports, as it seems to me, normal to earn for nothing will not work. Unless you naturally have some phenomenal physical data. And my son could never boast of that.



It was really hard to say goodbye to my husband, like that. When one of your children ruins his life somewhere unknown. And the other child is in another city. He can’t even come because he has to take exams. It was a real nightmare. But somehow, nevertheless, we survived it. Nikita received a good education, gained knowledge and came back in search of work. He was not interested in staying in the same place, because, according to him, the competition was very great, and we had nothing to live apart after the death of his father. And I feel better.

And... Okay. From that time on, I realized that I didn’t raise my children the way I always wanted to. With Lily everything is clear, but Nikita during the time that he was in another city, changed dramatically. Of course, I knew he wasn't the smartest young man in the world. But I knew him well as a son and a man. When he arrived, he didn’t look like himself. He stopped looking after himself, shaving, wearing normal hair. Now he was more like a silent loader or a port worker. The guy has changed beyond recognition.



Peels, however, he found work. But not quite in the profession and with a salary, almost with my pension. Pennies. I tried to figure out what happened to my child’s psyche. But he stopped listening to me, talked through his teeth, and then just left home. He found a woman 7 years older than him and started living with her. I didn’t want to repeat my mistake twice. To argue with my son over his choice was, to say the least, very stupid. So I just asked Nikita not to forget to come visit me sometimes. With a friend or without her. But my words did not have much effect.

So now I'm alone, living on my small pension, or rather, surviving. I have no idea what happened to my daughter. She probably never forgave me. My son doesn’t seem to live far away. But he and I have become completely strangers. I began to suspect that he was affected by his father's death. But I can’t say anything, it’s just not in my competence. It's Nikita's birthday soon, but I'm afraid we'll be apart. I don’t even have anything to give him, except a little bit of my own stuff.



It so happened that I tried to become my children the perfect mother, and my husband the best and most practical wife. And that's where it got me. It is sad to realize that your life was lived completely wrong and in vain. I would like to get at least one more try. Maybe I'd do it right this time.