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Ordinary mother.
A lifelong load of grievance“We become truly adults when we are able to perceive our parents simply as human beings,” a German psychologist once said.
Well, I guess so.
But one thing is theory, and quite another is reality.
She came to my third job, Skype.
As usual, I wonder what happened after the last session.
Well, she says, we talked to my mom for Easter.
Turns out she's a different person than I've long imagined.
And I remember that after our first session, this conversation was an incredible step for her.
Incredible and impossible.
The client is 51 years old, lives in Italy and with his mother for a long time and practically does not communicate.
And she goes on:
- I really saw after our work, how constantly "sit" in the past.
And she's a human being just like me.
I began to treat her like an ordinary person, not as a villain who ruined my whole life.
I stopped seeing her through the prism of my resentment and anger. . .
The client speaks calmly, with a note of sadness and sadness in her voice, and I listen to myself.
How do I feel?
Do I feel the urge to give away wishful thinking? Convince yourself that everything is okay when it is not?
No, I don't.
I hear sincerity.
And sadness.
And she goes on:
There was a lot of stupidity in my head.
What a “perfect mother” was supposed to be. What it should be... Now I see her as an ordinary person. With your strengths and your weaknesses.
She did what she could. And survived as best she could.
I stopped judging and lynching her every second of my life.
As much as I can, I did.
And I stopped lynching myself.
Mom is an imperfect person.
She's like me.
I'm imperfect, too.
I'm weak.
And I give up too... And surviving.
So is she.
I see the essence of it.
There's love.
And I can see it.
Something that hurt me, something that I couldn’t agree with for a long time.
And I don't deny it.
It's there, too.
But I stopped making excessive demands on her.
There's acceptance. And compassion.
Pity her.
She's old now. .
Something huge happened to me.
It's very important to me.
Now I can go on and not pull the load of "villain-mother" that was tied to me like cans on the tail of a cat. "
Yes, it is. . .
We become adults when we see our parents as human beings.
And then we become free, finding our way and the opportunity to go on.
We also had a very unusual job.
But this is another time. (Published as usual with the permission of the client.)
Author: Sergei Muchkin
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!
Credit /users/336295-sergey-muchkin
Well, I guess so.
But one thing is theory, and quite another is reality.
She came to my third job, Skype.
As usual, I wonder what happened after the last session.
Well, she says, we talked to my mom for Easter.
Turns out she's a different person than I've long imagined.
And I remember that after our first session, this conversation was an incredible step for her.
Incredible and impossible.
The client is 51 years old, lives in Italy and with his mother for a long time and practically does not communicate.
And she goes on:
- I really saw after our work, how constantly "sit" in the past.
And she's a human being just like me.
I began to treat her like an ordinary person, not as a villain who ruined my whole life.
I stopped seeing her through the prism of my resentment and anger. . .
The client speaks calmly, with a note of sadness and sadness in her voice, and I listen to myself.
How do I feel?
Do I feel the urge to give away wishful thinking? Convince yourself that everything is okay when it is not?
No, I don't.
I hear sincerity.
And sadness.
And she goes on:
There was a lot of stupidity in my head.
What a “perfect mother” was supposed to be. What it should be... Now I see her as an ordinary person. With your strengths and your weaknesses.
She did what she could. And survived as best she could.
I stopped judging and lynching her every second of my life.
As much as I can, I did.
And I stopped lynching myself.
Mom is an imperfect person.
She's like me.
I'm imperfect, too.
I'm weak.
And I give up too... And surviving.
So is she.
I see the essence of it.
There's love.
And I can see it.
Something that hurt me, something that I couldn’t agree with for a long time.
And I don't deny it.
It's there, too.
But I stopped making excessive demands on her.
There's acceptance. And compassion.
Pity her.
She's old now. .
Something huge happened to me.
It's very important to me.
Now I can go on and not pull the load of "villain-mother" that was tied to me like cans on the tail of a cat. "
Yes, it is. . .
We become adults when we see our parents as human beings.
And then we become free, finding our way and the opportunity to go on.
We also had a very unusual job.
But this is another time. (Published as usual with the permission of the client.)
Author: Sergei Muchkin
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!
Credit /users/336295-sergey-muchkin
