The essence of the psychological pain is simple: the disagreement with the events caused by binding to certain mental patterns.
As a consequence, the attempt to hold by force the stability of these patterns — which leads to a powerful strain of the brain.
If you draw a picture, try to keep familiar psychosensory on the background of changes in reality — it's like trying to hold on to the passing train, grabbing him by the hook.
How things are going...Man lives by images.
It creates a set of images with a certain set of relationships between them. For example, "She loves me and we can be together forever!",... or "My friends would never betray me!",... or "I'm young and healthy — and this is the norm for life!", etc.
These relationships between images (of the interaction between mental attitudes) over time become stable and strong like the roots of a powerful tree, associated with the soil.And man not only accustomed to them — but also identifies with them as a whole.
In fact, the person creates a powerful and stable power line, really tying it to energy modeling desired image.
And suddenly reality changes and these relations are set in motion. A man is not ready for this — he lives in the inertia of its identification with familiar images-plants, he has grown to them. The result is simple: when you try to keep changing the reality of his power (energy), the person feels increasingly "mental" (and actually, energy) voltage — up to this, which may drive him crazy or kill him.In other words, the essence of the psychological pain is the retention of elusive comfort.
And the paradox is that the only way to solve this problem (if it all reached the level of the problem) —this letting go of elusive comfort.
An example of this we once again can easily see the harm of inertia:after the attempt to hold on to what is leaving is the desire to live by inertia, unconscious.And this leads to the inevitable suffering.
However, this does not mean that as soon as something in your life is set in motion, it is necessary to throw and forget. No such mechanism is as coarse and vulgar as trying to keep the dynamic reality.Best formula of behavior in this situation is to do everything possible to maintain the situation as comfortable and stable — and at the same time, in any moment, not to try to assign and retain.
In the language of the Taoists — it is necessary to hold without holding.
This algorithm combines discrete broken: it allows you to work on creating a stable situation — and not to cling to stability as something that you have rights.
Very indicative in this respect is the art of painting with water on the pavement, which involved some masters in China, and some European artists like Niels Shoe Meulman. Drawing can be very beautiful — but after a few seconds the water is evaporated and he disappears. A balanced acceptance and beauty, which is created, and its uskolzaet — this is the algorithm in which the psychological pain is simply impossible.
To summarize. If you are really trying to keep the one-sided escaping reality — so, you stupid rhinoceros, pushing Everest with cries of "No, you move! I told you!".The situation is a bit strange to blame the fact that Everest is not in any want to move, but this is what you do most often.
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©