Eighty four million nine hundred sixty nine thousand two hundred six
We think that we suffer or experience unhappiness, when we lack something, and we perceive this internal background for granted.
"How can you be happy without love? Or without children?" — she thinks, justifying your inner turmoil and placing at the forefront the search of her husband.
"How can you be satisfied without material adjectives in the form of cars and apartments?" — says the man, saving every penny and getting into credit.
These throwing, as a rule, clear, and to discuss them not so interesting. In fact, in some cases, this dissatisfaction can be a good incentive to develop and enter new level. It may not be. Depends on the person.
Another interesting thing is what happens with the same girl when she finally gets married? And with a man who already has a basic set in your life? Whether they happy?
Why many of them never become fully satisfied? What they lack, once they got what they wanted? And why there are people who are happy, even without these important components?
The secret, for example, a happy, but unmarried girls? She pretends to be? She does not understand something in this life? She's a fool? She listened to lectures on the interpretation of the Vedas and does not know that a woman cannot be happy without a husband?
I want to be properly understood – it does not mean that she does not want to meet a congenial man and start a family, I say only that she is happy even before I met. Yes, it happens. It is a healthy psyche.
And what is the satisfaction men? In the soup, sex, car, money? Also in love, maybe? Why do some people have all of these items, but inside there is no stable harmony? And why are those without some of these items lives without suffering? Again, this does not mean that they do not intend to, just their movement along the path occurs without inner worries about the fact that it has not yet entered into their lives.
Exactly the question "I'm 30, I have no husband and never has been, how to be loved?" is another question: "my husband, two children, all well and good, but the time for self-development and experiments no, I don't like your job, but to rush it's too late, what to do?".
And okay, if it happened once. This happens all the time. For every "I suffer because I have no family" comes "I have a wonderful family, but I still suffer, help me."
What is it?
I guarantee that not just a coincidence.
It was at this point it is useful to remove the blinders and see the similarity of the situations of different people (and not close ourselves from reality by the thoughts that "I am special, I will be different"): not in marriage lies happiness, not in certain things or needs, many people continue to suffer, even when sincere satisfy all your desires.
What's the matter?
I also justified their suffering when they were the consequence of the lack of some important components in my life: it is logical to suffer when you have no means to implement their ideas or love, as I thought before. But fortunately I had the courage to admit that there were periods when I got everything he was striving for-and the excellent mutual relationship, and a favorite at that time, the case and enough money, health and joy, and travel, but full of satisfaction came not: all was well – just about anything, but something continued to sorbet inside. After the first euphoria meet the needs of the suffering returned.
It was very strange, because the reason to suffer literally was not.
Then, years ago, I just tried not to pay attention to it, considering "any whim". Today I can give this definition since learned what contentment and a life without suffering, even when closed, not all of life's questions.
I responsibly declare that life without suffering is possible. This is its natural state.
You do not feel a suffering when doing in this period of time your maximum (and understand it). And no matter what stage of life you are in.If you go in the direction of their desires at that speed, revealing their talents and skills in full – within you there is no place for suffering, it is replaced by satisfaction.
You can have almost nothing at all life spheres, but if we move in the direction of their own maximum implementation at full speed and understand it (which is very important), you'll be relaxed and satisfied right at the moment.If you have a hundred pounds, but you changed your diet and started a regular exercise routine with maximum efficiency — you will no longer suffer at the same time, though, for real change the physical shape will take years.
Similarly, in relationships. And money. And in the case. Anything. Where the key "do the maximum in the chosen direction, and you will not suffer."
And Vice versa:
How would you have any victories, savings, love and children, but if you move through life with much less speed than your potential, you will experience suffering. And the more you are given, the sharper will be your throwing. You will look at others who are happy with less than you and will try to persuade yourself to calm down and to slow down the ambitions, but most likely, nothing will come of it.
Unrealized potential hurts.If you are a Leo who works in the Moscow zoo, if you're an antelope, which lives in a Studio apartment, if you're an eagle in a cage, if you deep sea fish thrown ashore, – you are guaranteed a domestic sverblenie, even if you close all your social needs in family, entertainment, and basic security.
If you deep sea fish – all you can do is to go for a dip to its natural depth. There is no suffering, and associates, and the answers to all your questions. No one knows how much time it will take the plunge and do you have enough forces, one thing is certain: if you are interested in serious depth, it's not a year or two. Need more time.
Yes, we all have different talents and inclinations, different internal capacity (and our task is to increase it). But the indicator is always the same – if there is suffering, especially suffering with a kind of unjustified, then you are not intense laid in this life (in all areas). This means that you are capable of more.
To be specific – the average person does not implement even 25% of their natural abilities.
You do not feel a suffering when doing in this period of time your maximum (and understand it). And at every stage of life.How to stop suffering?1. Do your maximum on every stage
To stop suffering, have to spend their strength, not to save. To discover their talents, and not try to hide behind others. To claim your contribution more and not to settle for less. Take any master in the business, better world — class, and there's a nice illustration of what I mean. Takes a lot, makes more stops, continues to improve. And there and family, and children. This applies to both men and women.
Remember, at the time when I was just about ready to leave the Islands, I was simply stunned understanding that no one person whom I admire from the world of art, writing, environment, or music from the world of business any one master from my personal list of inspiration – does not live on the Islands. Why? Maybe its the millions of fees is insufficient to organize themselves in there life? Or maybe he's just a fool that just does not see this possibility, or so weak that you can't get rid of workaholism and live relaxed? The fact of the matter is that from the weakness of masters are not, but go to the Islands regularly... (although, not all cases of the illustration). Such masters are all, without exception, deep-sea fish, who live with the priorities of maximum impact and drive life here and now.
2. Look pain in the eye
The only way to increase its domestic capacity (read: "to dive") is through ceresstraat. No running, shouting, "it's probably not mine", not hiding behind his entourage, not to read clever books – and look into the eyes of the suffering, to shake his hand and continue to move in the selected direction at the proper speed. As a rule, the pain ofigevayu from such arrogance and quickly runs away.
While you run away from the pain, she always comes on the heels of. But should go meet her, you will find that it is not there. It will tell you any master of the martial arts.In General, the most vulnerable place of all people is the fear of pain. And those who know how to deal with this fear, moving several times faster than any other, accordingly, suffer less. While 95% of the population terrified of the opportunity to meet with the pain takes a step back in their aspirations, the remaining few live as they like, learning to walk regularly for a comfort zone and to welcome the suffering is equal.
3. Set clear goals
Maximum speed and impact possible when a clear vector. You will not be able to keep the rhythm, if the direction is not indicated. Set measurable goals at each stage of the journey – whether it be five years or the current week and do everything for their execution, then the suffering will have no time to think.
Goal – only the marks on the road. They are not by yourself. You can change them, edit, add new. This is not a story about the mission or purpose is a vector of your current day, which allows you to learn new facets of themselves through the development of needs speed.
For example, you have a clear goal for the current week?
If not, then what about the missions of life can there be? Then it's just early. To start with the current year, month and week. What actually happens on the segment of "here and now" in your life and where it leads, and then more. Mission is Everest, if you never go to the mountains – you have not mastered the big top. And if a lot of times have walked, too — not a fact. The real mission is something that can come through years of conscious life, if you exert effort.
We suffer when we don't put our natural charge in the right direction. In fact, if we're not moving in every sense – we rust. But random motion does not give proper return, which is also important. A goal (in fact, any meaningful and pleasant to us goals) give the opportunity to feel the interchange with the world: I – the world, the world to me. I don't just consume, I give the same. The circle is closed. Suffering in it.published