5 ways to win the sympathy of the faithful

Anyone who has to suffer due to a lack of attention, knows how all of this "system of distribution of the popularity of" unfair. It depends on looks, money, and some misty part, conditionally called "slope».

Fortunately, our brain is wired in such a surprising way, that if you want you can always find a way to outwit and "cut" a tortuous and thorny for most of us the way to the desired recognition. We know, at least five of such methods.

1. Do not do favors for others - you take care (do not forget to thank for it) Let's say you set out to please attractive girl / guy. How do you start?

Probably you try to make the subject of your dreams something nice. Run the job he / she can not stand, bring a cup of coffee ... Millions of "good guys" every day doing small favors for pretty girls, guided by precisely this logic - "the more pleasant, I do, the more surely will cause her association with this friendship , trust, loyalty and all that only a girl can expect from a man of your dreams ».

And this calculation may well be justified, but only for a while ... and if she wants to get a dog.

Studies have shown that, oddly enough, is not much more effective to carry out the request, in whom you are interested, and by taking care ... you just have not skimp on words thanks. And that, if you think about it, it is logical: people hate to feel indebted to someone else, and vice versa - it's nice to know that someone in front of them in debt.

The problem is that the person who made a small favor, forget about it faster than the one who made it. It takes a few days - and she had long since forgotten about a cup of coffee, which she brought a shy admirer, and the guy on the contrary, feels an easy annoyance - "ungrateful." It takes a month and he still sits in my head, "I brought her coffee! Could, at least, even hug me or something! "The value of services in the minds of the receiving side is reduced, and giving - is increased. After a while, the boy begins to seem that for this cup of coffee he had to almost fight with a bear.

So did you a favor really can drive a wedge between you solid; trifling service becomes a powerful tool - and not in your favor. This phenomenon is often referred to as the effect of Benjamin Franklin, who once said:

"One who serve you, next time will respond to your request more readily than someone who does something to you shall." All you have to do - to be grateful.

As we have said, no one likes to feel properly. And vice versa - people love to feel benefactors. In one experiment, participants paid money for their participation in advance. After that, some of them approached one of the researchers, and under the pretext of asking a small amount of debt.

Then all participants were asked to rate how much they liked the best researcher.

The greatest sympathy for this man has caused to those who gave him money.

2. Be cocky and selfish (if you are a teenager) Anyone who went to school, knows that the most popular in high school are not the most exemplary boy. It is no coincidence: at the top of the social ladder are often the most daring and independent. And there is nothing you can do about it: the establishment of an independent person means (a certain age), and a side effect is not very good behavior.

Several studies devoted to this subject, confirmed that the surest way to achieve popularity among high school students - a boldness and cockiness.

In one study, researchers tracked the life of 4000 students. They were interested in the style of their behavior, relationships with others, and status among peers. It was found that the higher the status - the higher the degree of "combativeness". The most paradoxical that the more problems a teenager peers delivered, the higher they rated it "status." Why is this happening?

It's simple: because daring - a sign of confidence. The teenager, who lifts the other, looks in the eyes of the leader. Society itself encourages and cultivates such "bad" guys.

However, there is a level of popularity that the "bad" can not achieve already. At the top of the ladder is no place for them. "Absolutely," Popular adolescents anyone and never turn up - they do not need. They are too self-absorbed to engage in such nonsense as the fight for a place under the sun.

Most popular presamye-teens - are typical of daffodils. Other children take aloof kind of innate charm and just adore them.

3. Dress in brand veschiVo during one experiment, the researchers sent the girl in the mall. She had to approach people and ask them to answer the questionnaire. On the first day, when it was an expensive sweater with conspicuous label known firm, has responded to the request of 54 percent of the people. The next day, when she has done the same things, in the same sweater, but only with cut label, participated in the survey, only 13 percent of those to whom it is addressed.

In another experiment, researchers dressed in designer clothes, twice gathered donations to charity, compared to those who were dressed in ordinary clothes.

Another study found that wearing expensive seekers with the employment service offered to be interviewed for a job money. Only a single label!

Well-dressed people do not just believe the wealthy and stylish. They have more confidence.

This is because, firstly, the label of luxury brands say the best quality items and therefore about your high demands.

Second, most of the animals at first glance may determine whether other members of the same species are healthy and capable of reproduction: for example, the figure of peacock - an ideal state of plumage. With people everything is different - clothes and cosmetics to hide a large part of our body.

And because we still need is also very similar visual "clues" that brand clothes us with their success and replaced.

4. Start attractive friends at FacebookSegodnya Facebook page almost everyone. One of the features of these pages is that everyone can get acquainted there with your personal photos. And not only yours, but also with photos of your friends. With all your surroundings crowd. It would seem, from what your friends are paying attention to pictures of some strangers?

But pay. Moreover, people can adjust their attitude to you, depending on what kind of person they will see on your page.

To test this, the researchers conducted a little experiment. They chose a man and a woman unremarkable appearance and have created for them on the two pages on Facebook. Pages were identical except for one: individual friends. In a profile posted pictures of very attractive people in the other - not too attractive (hopefully they did not explain the essence of the experiment).

After these preparations, they recruited a group that was to view the pages and to determine how they want to communicate with their owners. It turned out that the people on the page that appeared attractive friends, produced 20 percent better impression. It's as if they wanted to join a club imaginary beautiful people.

To be more scientific, that this phenomenon has to do with Darwin's theory - or rather, to his "natural selection." We subconsciously and are constantly searching for an optimal set of genes, which would allow us to "improve the breed." And when we see a person with a normal appearance surrounded by many beauties, instinctively projecting on the attractiveness of the person of his friends.

5. Embarrassed at publikeMy willing to spend a lot of time, money and effort, not only to look stupid with a large gathering of people. Many of us know this feeling - or even mocking disapproving glances directed straight at you all seem to be so arrogant as if they themselves never had to appear in opera in slippers or confuse the name of the senior jubilee.

Fortunately, the humiliation, which is experiencing any publicly embarrass, it can pay off with a vengeance: the researchers found that people who are at a loss, others seem to be much more lovely and moving than ever before.

Psychologists from Berkeley (California, USA; approx. Mixstuff.ru) staged an experiment: people filmed at the time, when they described the most embarrassing episodes from his life. Then the video viewed by other participants, and determined the degree of "embarrassment" cases, which were discussed. Then they were asked how much they seemed pleasant storytellers themselves. It turned out this relationship: the more embarrassing - the nice man.

But that is not all. It turned out that there is also an inverse relationship. Embarrass the person involuntarily begins to see the witnesses of his disgrace more complacent and less deserving of trust.

A few experiments have confirmed that our brain does tend to associate with the confusion of human kindness and trust.

So feel free to go to the next meeting with the pants unbuttoned - your relationship it will only benefit.

via factroom.ru


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