"Instructions for washing a cat - cat bathing as martial art."

To your attention the good old bayanchik - "Instructions for washing a cat - cat bathing as martial art.»







Keep in mind that although your cat's advantage in speed of response and lack of respect for human life, you have the advantage of strength.



Use this advantage by selecting the battlefield. Do not try to buy a cat in an open space, where it will force you to chase him.



Wash it in a very small bathroom.



If the area of ​​your bathroom more than two square meters, I recommend to get into a bath together with a cat and push the sliding door, as if you take a shower. Just draw the curtain is not enough. Enraged cat makes a three-layer plastic curtain in rags faster than changing attitudes among politicians.



Remember that a cat has claws, and he did not hesitate to skin you alive. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. Recommended as a costume canvas overalls tucked into high waders, hockey mask and a bulletproof jacket with long sleeves.



Prepare everything in advance. You will not have time to look for a towel when the cat tries to make a hole in your jacket. Pour the water in advance. Make sure the cat shampoo cat is out of reach. Make sure that you can get a towel, even lying flat in the bath. Grab the cat by surprise.



Take it casually, as if about to be attributed to the food bowl. Cat, is not likely to pay attention to your country as well: as a rule, cats are indifferent to fashion.



If he still alert, calmly explain to him that you are going to take part in the testing of nuclear weapons.



From the moment you enter the bathroom hesitates is lost. One quick flick of slam the door, climb up into the bath, slide doors, dip the cat in the water and drench it with shampoo. Went count the most dangerous 45 seconds of your life.



Cats are no handles!



Furthermore, in this case either cat became slippery soap that it greatly complicates the problem of retention. Do not expect to hold it in place for more than a couple of seconds. While you are holding it, pour the shampoo on him and rub his best - a few seconds later it will break and fall into the water, where propoloschetsya. National feline record - three rounds soaping, so do not flatter yourself too.



Now the cat is necessary to wipe. Cat bathhouse novice suggest that wiping - the most difficult stage of swimming, because by that time people are exhausted, and the cat is a rage.



In fact, compared to what you have suffered, wipe the cat - a trifling matter. You commit his right foot, pull out a flick of the foot peg out of the bathroom, take a towel and wait. Sometimes the cat manages to get on your hockey helmet. In this case it is best to shake his head and pressed his foot. After the water has drained out of the bathroom, you just bend over and wipe the animal.



A few days later the cat calm down and release your foot. Perhaps he will stop for three weeks to communicate with you and, in general, will you sit backwards.



In severe cases, the cat develops a mental disorder manifested in the glassy-eyed.



You find that your cat on your offense, but it's not.



Usually it is just a way of vengeance and develops application you injury the next bathing.