- Do you remember in 8th grade caught us when we were smoking under the stairs?
- Yes, but ... well, still had time to get dressed!
Yesterday bought a new grinder.
He asked his wife to show how it works.
I understand the meaning of the expression - "to explain on the fingers»
The chief said: he recently met somewhere old poster safety before any were many. The poster drawn conveyor it in a pool of blood severed hand. Above all these concerns to anger the woman's face and call:
"Do not change the gaskets on the go!» ...
- And what is this hole in my shoe?
- And this is for the feet ...
Madam, small world ... Sooner or later, we still meet up in bed.
From the conversation at the door venereologist:
- Yeah, but ... we Hire Vanya the tractor!
McDonald went to the toilet. On the door of a list of names. Make your case, I set the time, his name painted. I respect the order ...
It turned out - a schedule of cleaning toilets.
Woman comes to a psychoanalyst, he told her, and said:
- Undress, go ... A woman undressed, lay down. Psychoanalyst fucked her, gets up and buttoning his pants, said:
- Well, with my problems sorted out, let your ...
- Hello, where are you?
- In the prison.
- For what?
- And the parents left, my brother and I were asked to sit down.
Will a bird - flies,
Will the cat - recourse,
Will fish - swim,
Will cancer - call.
At the exam in medical school. The teacher asks the student:
- How does the embryo breathes?
The student did not hesitate:
- Through the vagina ...
All over the world people buy a camera to shoot the family, we do - drinking.
The reserve appeared pretentious moose majeure. They do not lick the salt until they are served tequila.
The apartment has an avant-garde artist:
- Alexander, what have you got a cat in the aquarium does?
- And why fish in a cage?
- Wait until the cat is redeemed.
- And then you get them back into the aquarium?
- No, then I'll go swimming.
It was in one of the hospitals, the Department of severe trauma. Well, all the patients on the banners, in a cast, hardly go to the ship boring things in one word, the only variety in their life makes a lone cockroach, which all affectionately called Petrovich. Everyone knew his favorite trail on the window sill, left them the most delicious chips. And once in the morning brought to the ward smashed man with a fracture in both legs, well, he was in a cast, but still alcohol sedated, lying on the couch near the door and fills the air with fumes.
And in the morning during rounds fun begins included the chief doctor examines the patient and suddenly notices a cockroach wandering along the usual route on the windowsill in search of goodies and a physician seeing a violation of the rules of sanitation removes sneakers and runs to the cockroach.
And the Chamber at this time in unison shouted:
"Petrovich B-E-T-Iiii!" And he ran ... a man with a fracture in both legs, wild hangover, which by a strange coincidence, the same name Petrovich.
He was found half an hour upstairs in the women's section.
After raising the fines for talking on a cell phone drivers stopped talking on the phone. Now they write SMS-ki ...
- Honey, how do you know about all the things that do not advise our daughters?
Adam and Eve walked through the Garden of Eden.
- Do you love me? - Eve asked.
- And what to do ...- indifferently replied Adam.
The artist painted the picture 3:
- On the first: on the picturesque banks of the river is blue with a drowned man.
- The second: a corner village house with a Russian stove, near which a shovel piece of burnt loaf.
- In the third: simpotichnaya young pregnant woman.
Painter thought all three paintings called one name: "Late pulled».
Wife to her husband:
- My mother after poisoning already discharged from the hospital.
The husband himself:
"Yes, toxicology leaped forward, the methods inherited from his grandfather, has no effect».
The question in the forum:
Do you think if I write "Andrew, * fuck off camping" Word Andrew soften the word fuck off * camping?
Microbes slowly crawled over the body left-hander, with difficulty dragging the horseshoe.
Heat. I buy ice cream yesterday. Shopgirl - cheerful, lively Pukhlikov accept the goods. Drove reads the names of ice cream on the invoice, checks the boxes. Drove: "Mini bikini, sun, hummingbirds ..." The woman in the queue: "What is your name-all!". Saleswoman, flirtatious wag loin: "Yes, what I am, and this ice cream." At this point, the carrier with lyboy radiant, like a master of ceremonies announcing the fatal number, solemnly issues "cheerful cow!»
Bard kid gets kicked. Rushes wife:
- What are you doing, you bastard?
- He told me upset string - meets the bard.
- And because of this it is necessary to beat a child?
- He does not say what.
Riddle: What has a length of 15 centimeters, his own head, and like all women?
A: The bill is $ 50