An old mother-in-law needs care, and her husband wants to take her to us now, I never minded, but there is a catch. Bashny.Net

We always want to believe that parents will be young and cheerful until old age. And when it comes time to take care of them, there is a long list of unaccounted for problems. Valentina faced difficulties when she realized that her mother-in-law should be taken away: “My husband’s old mother will soon be all alone,” Valentina explains.

A woman loves her mother-in-law and wants to provide her with a calm old age. The woman says that social workers and nurses are not an option, you can not do this to elderly parents. But what do we do?



Now Marina Vasilievna is being looked after by her sister. But her sister has children abroad. Recently, Vera Vasilievna told us that she will no longer be able to live with her sister, since she is moving in with her children. After that, the husband insisted that we take our mother-in-law to us.



I never objected to Marina Vasilyevna staying with us. We have a small family: me, my husband and teenage daughter. I don’t have any problems with my mother-in-law moving. I understand that my mother would also like to support, and no one except the children will do it.



I remember how Marina Vasilyevna warmly welcomed me into their family. My mother-in-law helped me take care of Nastya. From the diaper, my child was always beautifully dressed in soft knitted things - Marina rarely let her spokes out of her hands. I know how to care for the elderly because I used to work as a nurse.”

And the problem is that my daughter categorically does not want to see an old woman in our house. Nastya says that the apartment will always have an unpleasant smell and that Marina will scare away Nastya's friends. We have three rooms: a living room and two bedrooms. We were already going to settle in the living room and settle my mother-in-law in our bedroom, but Nastya began to resent.



I admit, our daughter spoiled, now in addition to poor upbringing added adolescence. For the last ten years, Marina Vasilyevna lived for her granddaughter. I always tried to cook goodies for her, while she could stand on her feet. And now it is unpleasant to be under the same roof with my grandmother.

Several times I asked Nastya to bring groceries to her grandmother and go to the pharmacy, and each time Nastya wrinkled, as if she had swallowed a lemon. It's like she doesn't realize she'll ever be old and helpless. Nastya has no sympathy. She said that if Grandma Marina moved in with us, Nastya would leave the house.



My husband was tired of such behavior, and he transported some things of Marina Vasilievna to our house. Nastya went to live with a friend the same day. However, when the daughter found out that the grandmother will move only in a month, she returned home. I don't know what to do. I want everyone to feel good. And the husband resents my daughter and me for indulging her. He says he'll go to his mom if we act like that. I have already begun to doubt that it is worth transporting Marina Vasilievna to us. I had been preparing for her move for a couple of years. Everything came gradually. Now a choice must be made.”



Practice shows that adolescents over time get smarter in most cases. Our parents are the same. You can't go with a teenager. If both parents decided to take care of an elderly mother together, and this does not cause them discomfort, then you should explain to your child that the grandmother will remain in the family. First of all, the husband must understand the situation, because this is his mother. It is not necessary to shift the responsibility to the wife in such an important matter.

Some people think that nursing homes do not care for the elderly and that it is a crime to turn in a relative. In fact, situations are different. Especially if a person has health problems and needs medical care, psychological, and not only attention and care, then it is wise to choose the appropriate institution. Especially if you don’t have the ability to take a parent home or care for them 24 hours a day. There is always a way out, in which case someone will have to compromise. Instead of being offended by each other, we should discuss this issue with the family. This is the only way to find the best solution for everyone. What would you do in such a situation?