Dad, mom and baby. Who's in charge? A lot of people say, what's the difference between them, because it's all one family. On the one hand, it is, of course, so, but on the other hand, it is not so simple - Mom and Dad still have a slightly different purpose. There may even be competition between them because of the child. We don't invent, psychologists say.
So what’s the difference, and why does father and mother affect a child differently? Editorial
"Site" As a quote I want to cite the reflections of the famous German sociologist and philosopher Erich Fromm. He said some amazing things about it. Should I agree with him? You have to decide.
Father, mother and baby Fromm shared the love of his mother and his father. According to the philosopher
motherhood Unconditional to the child. The baby who was born is her baby. He doesn’t have to win or deserve that love. Simply because it is something unconditional, something blissful. Unfortunately, there is a certain danger here. Sometimes, this love may not come about. And it will never develop. Sometimes, alas.
For a man, a father, the connection with his baby is still less close. The father is not as important to the child as the mother. For the first few years of a child’s life, it is as if he is on the periphery. In general, the male father has a slightly different mission. He is responsible for knowledge, experience, ideas about what life is like and what to do in a particular situation.
Fromm believed that his father’s love was not unconditional, but rather conditional. She looks like
expectations come trueIt’s like the pleasure of the result, the opportunity to define your “similarity”. In fact, “deserved” love is not only positive. It’s just because it can be lost at any time.
There are great examples in the classics. For example, in Romeo and Juliet, when Juliet suddenly begins to defy her family, her father, the Earl of Capulet, is ready to kick her out of the house just because she dared to disobey him. In love, fatherly obedience is the highest benefactor. While the absolute sin will be disobedience.
Dad, mom and baby But what are we all about? There has to be a positive. And it consists in a seemingly simple thing. Both the love of the father and the love of the mother correspond to the attitude of the child. Stay together in this state, here.
family. A lot depends on the man, the father. Why? Because it is the indicator of this love. Because his love is conditional.
For the first few years, the child will need the unconditional love and care of the mother. He needs his father’s experience later. The best scenario: the mother creates a sense of security for the baby, the father is engaged in his training and shows how to cope with certain problems that arise in society.
A mother will not stop growing up if she feels confident. There will be no payment for her possible anxiety and helplessness, in the end she is interested in the fact that the child grew up independently and separated from her.
harmoniousA person who grows up in such conditions acquires the consciousness of both father and mother, although they appear to be opposites to each other.
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If only the child had
fatherThe one we’ve described, he’d probably be quite cynical and even angry. When a child has only an anxious mother who has a poor sense of the future, he or she becomes vulnerable to decision-making and becomes an obstacle to his or her own development. And probably everyone around him.
If we agree with such theses, we come to the conclusion that the less anxiety a woman experiences, the more love she will give to the child. This means that he will have more opportunities to know the world and himself in it. Infantilism is born in children, if the mother is anxious, so we think. Where does this anxiety come from?
Stress, problems at work, general instability in the family, possible
worryThe need to deal with problematic issues. Someone should do it for her, and she would only do her unconditional love. That is why we say that in this regard, all tactics and strategy fall on the man and he assumes most of the duties.
I can’t say that my father doesn’t care about it. However, at the start of a child’s life, this anxiety has less impact, because the father is still “distant.” But his ability to plan, discipline, and live up to his own words can bring peace to his family. And then transfer these skills to the child.
In fact, here we can conclude about the influence of the father and mother on the child.
Dad, mom and baby It is a unit that comes into harmony with the fact that everyone is in his place. So if a woman wants to give her love to a child and therefore not work, she should be given this opportunity. A man will understand. Read the article about the dangers of hyperprotection. And thank you for staying with us!