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Life cycles of the family
Every person goes through the following basic stages:
1 the life cycle of the family — MONADA — she goes out of the family until one. This stage in our Russian datum is skipped, and the girl from one family "jumps" to another — in you just created. If "skip" the experience of the monad, skip the positive experience of loneliness: when building a career, doing everything for himself, looking for himself.
This stage takes 5-7 years. It ends when she will be the function monad: understand what he wants in this life, achieve goals, get stronger, feel worth something, and then have a desire to share. If the stage is passed incorrectly, the girl turned to her parents, to turn away from his life (or it tries to connect, or stands in a functional position for mom or dad — like functional husband wife mom or dad). To avoid this there must be peace, at this stage, mom and dad say, "I'll deal with your feelings, but you're our daughter, look at my life." Ideal — when parents together.
She has passed the stage of monad, there is a feeling — you want to build relationships, she has something to share, then a man appears.
Stage 2 — the DYAD. Its an echo of the first moment of meeting. If a girl from getting pregnant, and deliver a number of partners, they're uncomfortable with each other because skipped a few stages: 1) "you're a man, I'm a woman, I see you"; 2) "I have interest in you"; 3) "I choose you as a man, I choose you as a woman." While inside, there is no clear determination and desire that I choose exactly this person, as a standalone unit (without a child), as his woman / her man, everything else is before and the choice is made, at least consciously, but artificially.
Dyad — a couple gets along, there is a place for a child. Then they are ready to move to the triad. Up to this point (in the arrangement it can be seen) couple isn't close enough, and already there were conflicts, tensions, because there is no pair, the child in the future will be regular elections, conflicts of loyalty. First agree, then to start a family, then there is a place for a child. When we put the baby, he hugs the mother in front, the man distanciruemsa, because its role is not understood.
For a woman, it is important to speak and negotiate. "I'm pregnant. But I now really need. I'll be grateful if you'll stick with me. Thank you." Then the child hugs the man and woman, interacts with both of them, and not just with a woman.
Stage 3 — the TRIAD.The child was born. Up to 3 years — next to mom, looking at the parents, not the world. The woman is immersed in child. The crisis of man: "What is my role?" The woman pronounces: "This is our daughter (son), and I need your help. Thank you."
Contact man and child is through the woman. The child's condition — condition pair.
From 3 to 5 years — the girl goes to the Pope, starts flirting. If a 7 years old girl cuddles up to mom, then something is not enough. If in a pair the crisis, the distance between a man and a woman, the girl takes the place of the wife (the best woman in the life of Pope).
It is important thatdad spoke to her daughter, "the Woman I have already chosen, you're my daughter," thus he kind of puts daughter in front of himself (the position of the wife — next). For a boy all the same says the mother.
7 years the child is between the parents in the front, looks at the world, is turning to social life. To 7 years — looking at parents, after 7 — in my life. If up to this point the parents are all bad with each other, they diverge in hand, and the child, it turns out, sitting alone, without support. And he has a need to urgently grow up, become big and strong, because parents are unreliable.
If up to 3 years in case of second pregnancy, the early daughter goes to dad.
Adolescence is a step forward from parents.
If at this age, adolescents at risk, have the courage, they become more successful in life than their peers. During this period, very important support for parents, although with them begins the struggle and competition. A teenager is moving forward.
At the age of 18-20, when the man might turn and see my parents as a couple, when he builds with them a good, warm, trusting relationship, about himself, he can also say: "Then I, too, can build your relationship" (there is an internal permission).
And the stage of MONAD. And so the circle. Life begins in the family and ends with family. published
Author: Inna Makarenko
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: vk.com/vkus_zhizni_musy?w=wall-57151025_3300
1 the life cycle of the family — MONADA — she goes out of the family until one. This stage in our Russian datum is skipped, and the girl from one family "jumps" to another — in you just created. If "skip" the experience of the monad, skip the positive experience of loneliness: when building a career, doing everything for himself, looking for himself.
This stage takes 5-7 years. It ends when she will be the function monad: understand what he wants in this life, achieve goals, get stronger, feel worth something, and then have a desire to share. If the stage is passed incorrectly, the girl turned to her parents, to turn away from his life (or it tries to connect, or stands in a functional position for mom or dad — like functional husband wife mom or dad). To avoid this there must be peace, at this stage, mom and dad say, "I'll deal with your feelings, but you're our daughter, look at my life." Ideal — when parents together.
She has passed the stage of monad, there is a feeling — you want to build relationships, she has something to share, then a man appears.
Stage 2 — the DYAD. Its an echo of the first moment of meeting. If a girl from getting pregnant, and deliver a number of partners, they're uncomfortable with each other because skipped a few stages: 1) "you're a man, I'm a woman, I see you"; 2) "I have interest in you"; 3) "I choose you as a man, I choose you as a woman." While inside, there is no clear determination and desire that I choose exactly this person, as a standalone unit (without a child), as his woman / her man, everything else is before and the choice is made, at least consciously, but artificially.
Dyad — a couple gets along, there is a place for a child. Then they are ready to move to the triad. Up to this point (in the arrangement it can be seen) couple isn't close enough, and already there were conflicts, tensions, because there is no pair, the child in the future will be regular elections, conflicts of loyalty. First agree, then to start a family, then there is a place for a child. When we put the baby, he hugs the mother in front, the man distanciruemsa, because its role is not understood.
For a woman, it is important to speak and negotiate. "I'm pregnant. But I now really need. I'll be grateful if you'll stick with me. Thank you." Then the child hugs the man and woman, interacts with both of them, and not just with a woman.
Stage 3 — the TRIAD.The child was born. Up to 3 years — next to mom, looking at the parents, not the world. The woman is immersed in child. The crisis of man: "What is my role?" The woman pronounces: "This is our daughter (son), and I need your help. Thank you."
Contact man and child is through the woman. The child's condition — condition pair.
From 3 to 5 years — the girl goes to the Pope, starts flirting. If a 7 years old girl cuddles up to mom, then something is not enough. If in a pair the crisis, the distance between a man and a woman, the girl takes the place of the wife (the best woman in the life of Pope).
It is important thatdad spoke to her daughter, "the Woman I have already chosen, you're my daughter," thus he kind of puts daughter in front of himself (the position of the wife — next). For a boy all the same says the mother.
7 years the child is between the parents in the front, looks at the world, is turning to social life. To 7 years — looking at parents, after 7 — in my life. If up to this point the parents are all bad with each other, they diverge in hand, and the child, it turns out, sitting alone, without support. And he has a need to urgently grow up, become big and strong, because parents are unreliable.
If up to 3 years in case of second pregnancy, the early daughter goes to dad.
Adolescence is a step forward from parents.
If at this age, adolescents at risk, have the courage, they become more successful in life than their peers. During this period, very important support for parents, although with them begins the struggle and competition. A teenager is moving forward.
At the age of 18-20, when the man might turn and see my parents as a couple, when he builds with them a good, warm, trusting relationship, about himself, he can also say: "Then I, too, can build your relationship" (there is an internal permission).
And the stage of MONAD. And so the circle. Life begins in the family and ends with family. published
Author: Inna Makarenko
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: vk.com/vkus_zhizni_musy?w=wall-57151025_3300
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