Lovestruck teenager sooner or later strives to bring his "half" back home overnight. How to share space and communicate with this, frankly, is not too welcome?Who's the boss?
Every family develops their own style of parenting, which may be more or less democratic. However, even the most "advanced" parents should not neglect their own rights, since they are directly related responsibility for the child. If we are so closely monitoring his diet, appearance and assessments, why is it sometimes discouraged situations relating to their personal lives?
How would he honest neither looked to the teenager, he remains dependent on parents, because he can only invite his "passion", and everything else – from the tea bags and cake to linens and beds, provide adults. Therefore it is better to offer the teenager and his / her guest (or guest) to play by your rules:
Smile and wave
- Make contact with the parents of the girl (or guy) that/which you are staying. This will make the situation transparent and better controlled, and will also help to avoid possible misunderstandings. For example, if the parents of your guest are sure that she sleeps "have a girlfriend", you could be accused of pandering to "debauchery".
- Indicate the territory in which you would not like to see the guest. For example, you can ask for "young" is not on the couch in the living room, not to occupy the bathroom for a long time, do not turn on the TV in the kitchen, etc.
- Try to negotiate with a teenager about what he would himself clean for his guest. wash the dishes after dinner, gather used towels, and linen.
While voicing "young" important to you rules it is important not to overdo it and to stay in the hospitable manner of the owners. Try to find a clear explanation for each of these conditions. At the same time make sure that the requirements were not too much. As uncomfortable due to the presence in the house of a stranger is inevitable, it is better not to ignore it, and try to establish a warm relationship.
- Ask the teenager and his guest or the guest about future plans. It is unlikely that they are going to be in your home. Discussion of the planned actions – neutral, and at the same time very comfortable topic for casual conversation.
- Try to contact with the guest at your child as if it were his brother or sister. So it will be more comfortable for you and guest, which is the usual niche of the child and would not claim any special privileges. For example, you will not have to offer a choice of several dishes. You can simply say: "Eggs are ready!".
- No one can predict how in the future will be the relationship your child has with his "half". Their current communication may develop into the same love for life, and to be short and unremarkable novel. However, for the sake of peace of mind your child better behave so that the guest is not doubted that the whole family sympathizes with him.
Intimacy does not offer
Parents of teen sex can see two opposite trends. One is expressed as a categorical rejection: "This can't be, because it can never be!". For this reason, and not because of some domestic difficulties, the girl son boy or daughter might be unwelcome.
The opposite trend is over liberal, bordering on populism: "Here's to you, little children, contraceptives. Good night!". As in many other cases, it is very difficult to find a middle ground. However, you must force yourself to develop a consistent position to their personal lives, since it largely depends on his strategy.
- Caution in the first place. Statistics of teenage abortions, the incidence of HIV, hepatitis and other diseases", sexually transmitted infections, shows that this is not just a horror story for television talk shows, and quite routine problems that occur in every fifth family. Data specialists terrifying: teen pregnancy in the period of 16 years compared with the period of 16 years increases in 3-3,5 times, this increases the number of abortions. In other words, after 16 years Teens consider themselves to be already older and quite sensible, believing that they will be able to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy. And even getting contraceptives from the hands of the parents, the more sure they were not in danger. However, if we reason from the perspective of an adult and without emotion, teenage sex does not give anything useful to the child, and thus adds to his life a lot of high risks. It is therefore necessary to create for a teenager obstacles, avoiding conflict with the child. So, the night guest you can lay in the kitchen or in the baby's room, temporarily podsolic last for grandma or younger brother.
- Advise to abstain. Talk to the teen privately about the purpose of the overnight guest. Just tell me that I understand their desire to retire, but I think that with older relationship is worth to wait a little longer. Of course, if Teens want to "fool around", they will find the opportunity to do so. However, for many of them a clear position of parents is a valid reason for rejection of the plan.
- Break the solitude. Try to create an atmosphere that is not inviting to the intima. For example, when teenagers are permanently closed in the room, find a pretext under which you or someone else from the family will need to go there.published
Author: Maria Nos
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