The real facts)

Before the fight the woman pulled the artificial eye and for better safety decided to hide it in my vagina. Experts have recovered.
The man decided to make his own circumcision. For local anesthesia, he chose the dry ice. When the ice stuck to the head, he thought of boiling water to thaw.
The patient decided to have a paint by abdominal pain since decided that it will cover the wall of the stomach thick protective layer is not worse Pepto-Bismol from advertising ...
The patient was transported by ambulance to the 12-inch (30 cm) dildo stuck in her ass. After 2 hours, after extraction, it was again taken with the same diagnosis, because now I bet hole designed.
Patient overdenture badly behaved on the gums. So he thought of sticking it with superglue.
13-year-old girl decided to take a swim, despite the huge cast. Inside, all soaked and nabilsya sand. At first, the girl tried to scrape the sand bent wire hanger, tore the skin. And then spread ground salt in there, so it absorbed the water. When asked doctors to parents, whether the girl's developmental delays, the father said, I understand why you are asking, but no.
After a fierce diarrhea patient is trying to soften the anus turpentine.
Another patient tried to treat constipation vodka enema.
97-year old woman fell and lay on the floor without moving or talking 6 days. Her overage child sex unspecified decided that my mother was asleep. When my mother had cooled, it was covered with blankets and heaters furnished. The smell did not cause any suspicion. But after 6 days it is still an ambulance was called. Suddenly there is something wrong.
Another genius guessed treat diarrhea laxative. That all came over. It took just two different reliability.
The emergency call from a man suspected that the bartender poured him too much alcohol. The caller demanded to take him to the hospital to check the blood alcohol level to to nail the villain.
I did the patient because his friend suffers from uncontrolled convulsions. Still I decided to go with her oral sex.
Obese (200+ kg) delivered to the patient with pain in the groin. Diagnosis: crushed own eggs, sitting on them.
Patients with open fractures of both hands, accompanied by circulatory disorders, trying to take masturbation to distract from the pain. Not the best idea.
A man came home after a night out in the billiard room, not strapped a belt and drove into a pillar. It is not clear how it happened, but it ended up a cue in the ass.
And again on a scene our friend - 30-inch dildo. Marine during sex games with his wife managed to shove it up your ass with a stop placed at the end of the special non-working to prevent similar incidents. To avoid scandal came to a civilian hospital, where the doctor put the resolution "non-urgent" and still sent him to the native army.
Favorite explanation of patients regarding foreign bodies in the rectum: it stood on the floor, and I slipped and fell on him. Most often it is a bottle of shampoo. With 30-centimeter dildo such explanations certainly do not roll.
I do not blame that the most ridiculous stories associated with foreign objects in the ass. But the question again about them. When a patient is currently stuck to ping-pong ball, it soon discovered that to get it back is not so easy. Round and slippery ball shunned any attempt to remove it. Then make a patient realize cement enema to lock the goddamn toy. Retrieves frozen-modern sculpture is already under anesthesia doctor.
The patient tries to convince the doctor to let him go home due to full mental sanity. When asked why he was brought here the police replied that they did not know that he is a real. And all the rest - only copies of it, they began to be cloned as soon as put in his head microchips. And he probably would have to kill himself to stop the cloning process.
The simplest anal vibrator can be obtained by putting a condom on the electric toothbrush. Simple - does not mean safe.
Man stoned him at least obkurennaya girlfriend convinced that by entering into a member of the battery acid, mixed with baking soda, you can receive eternal risers. More than the guy standing nothing.
The patient was admitted with a complaint that he shove a finger in his ear, then they do not hear.
Another patient, apparently the brother of the previous (in mind), was awakened in his ear, a cockroach crawled. Without thinking, he plugged the ear with your finger (to cockroach crawled) and rushed to the nearest emergency room ambulance (to a cockroach still pulled out).

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