3 stories - gross))

Long tried to call Moscow servisnikov. For voice telephony steadily responsible fax. Well, he took a sheet of paper, write in it with a flourish marker: "REMOVE TUBE!"
 After two minutes, call squeaks in the tube. Fax breaking. Okay, I press "accept". Fax spits out a piece of paper with the text: "Sorry, unfortunately now OWNERS present, and to me they DO NOT ALLOW THE TALK ... Sincerely, Sincerely, PANASONIC KX-FT902RU".

Moscow State University, a military department, the height of the stagnation. The main entertainment of the student - a drink and a game of cards to play. Commissar him in hell do not need, but you can not be absent, this department is not steeper. In the courtyard on February 24th. The audience, which without cause kicking every day, just no. At the blackboard Colonel Boyko. He was really bad, but he keeps. 12 a.m. The door opens, and there is a green hangover student:
 "Let reported late to enter?" Colonel Boyko long considering the clock hanging on the wall, then his wrist, lip-synching, counting on how many students was late when classes start at 8:30. Then, barely opened his dry lips, he says: "This is not too late and no-show! How can you explain? »
 Student long thinks, remembers yesterday, and says: "Tm-ni-ni Colonel, well, yesterday was February 23 ...»
 Colonel (thoughtfully): "So after all I had!»
 Student ponders for a long time, trying to understand why the colonel, too, had the same number and, if it is true, as the Colonel all got to work. After a long pause, he finally realizes and says: "Well, you're the same person more experienced!
 Colonel breaks into a smile and says: "Sit down, you want some water?"

I have served in one of law enforcement agencies. Once I had to "borrow" one office. Well, the process is done, once or twice, flew, tied. And then I had to information from the computers they did not have time to erase. Word put all the muzzle on the floor. I sat down with a friend to a computer and a quick look at what's going on over there. At this point it enters the room lanky fellow (what a programmer, he had big letters at the top of the forehead ...) He's in the toilet was away at the time of the assault and the player on the power seems to include the likes. He looks dumbfounded at all this natyurMORD and timidly asked: Who are you ??
 We together with comrade: New sysadmins!
 He thoughtfully ... Why so? If you do not like the way I work, I would have resigned myself