Poor Israel

On my flight took off another guy. Honestly, I would also detained. The guy was like a hell of a Taliban fighter or igil. The only thing missing machine. He flew on some European passport. Then he did not know that in Israel, it will not start at all.

20 minutes later I was summoned by the police. Taken to a separate room and started asking the usual questions that have been asked at passport control. Where I plan to stay, which visited the country before, whether there is a friend of Israel, whom you work, etc. To all the questions the police had received replies. He made some notes, asked me to write my phone and email. Then I returned to marinate in the room. Flew the new aircraft and Israeli security officers caught other suspicious passengers. But in the room, they did not stay long. People change, and we were sitting with the Taliban. Soon I was invited again.



This time it was a young girl. She introduced a security officer. We sat in a private room. If before this conversation with me were very rude, I would say on the verge of outright rudeness, the girl began to play the role of good cop.

She was trying to place me in was very nice. We started chatting like old friends, at some point, I even forgot that she was KGB man ... Moreover, I wanted to talk to her! You know, there are people that are very nice and comfortable, it could chat all day and then all night. She asked me with interest, in which countries I have visited, what I did there, with whom I traveled. "Oh, you know Lebedev Topic! To get and how he lives? The same asshole like a blog? "We understood each other perfectly! I felt that she was the same one from which we can speak without words ... Between us there was some invisible bond.

Then I remembered the words of his lawyer: "Never trust a man in uniform! Do not sign anything and do not talk too much! "I remembered it later, this snake in the form of a cute girl I already knew about it! I paused.



- Now let's honor your blog, my friend! - She smiled, turned to me and asked for the monitor type the address of the blog.

I entered the address. Started to panic a little, remembering everything I naboltal her for half an hour a sweet conversation. Sweaty palms began ... In my head immediately thought, "How could not sleep, I'm nervous?" - Began to remember the TV series, Sherlock ... I decided that we should not scratch his nose, but he was scratched.

- Your phone! - She decided to play more good cop and began defiantly cool.

- What is my phone? - I said.

- Put it on the table your phone!

I put the phone, she took him in hand and made sure that the recorder is not included.

- Bicycles ... you sell bicycles in Moscow - she noticed my banner bicycle shop in a blog - it's interesting ... why sell bicycles in Moscow, in the same half-year winter ... That's strange ... - she said to herself, and I thought if I joke about samovar with vodka and my home bear Martha joke or not. Decided not to make jokes.



And started watching posts about Israel, which I have been published in the blog. Last post was with photos from the Gaza Strip, which made Sergey Ponomarev for my blog. She immediately opened this post. No, it is not just opened it, she clung to him like a bull terrier as a sacrifice.



- You were in the Gaza Strip? - She began to fill me with questions.

- No.

- Do you know when and who took these pictures?

- Yes, my friend, photographer Sergey Ponomarev.

- He was in the Gaza Strip?

- I guess so, since he took these pictures.

- That is, you can not exactly say that it is the pictures?

- I can not ... - I decided no more say for sure, remembering that it is impossible to pry the jaws bull terrier ... My survival instinct shouted to me, "Ilya Arrange a tantrum and do not sign anything!»

- Who gave you these pictures? Why have you published them? - She continued to fill me with questions like machine that delivers balls tennis players, and I fought - How do you pass these pictures? You sent them in the mail? Show this letter! When did you last in contact with Sergei? What are your mutual friends? What do you think about the conflict in Gaza?

- Nothing, I do not think! - Even if I do something and thought before about this conflict, in that moment the whole resource base of my brain is busy to develop a plan to escape from the office security officer

- Why did he not go to shoot this war? Why do you want to go to Syria, and not in the Gaza Strip?

- I do not know - it was my most popular response to this interrogation.

- Give your phone.

I gave the phone, she fumbled to learn something in the settings.



- Why are you lying to me? - She said sternly. To be honest, I was a little ofigel from such a scenario. Another 20 minutes ago we were with her best friends, and now she accused me of lies.

- I'm not lying! - A little confused I said. I almost said its crown of "do not know", but was reconstructed in time.

- An hour ago you wrote the migration police officer that you have one e-mail account, and the other you do not. I see that you have a minimum of 3 boxes and you are using them, - she showed me the phone settings-mail where really were scored multiple addresses. One I used to ayMessedzha, another was a backup at all ... I started to explain something, but my excuse was not interested in her. It was important to make me nervous.

I realized that this tactic is. Every 5-10 minutes, she unexpectedly knocked me off accusations of lies. That is, you tell which countries had over the past 10 years, she suddenly stops you and says, "Wait a minute, now we'll call you at work and find out whether or not you work there!»



It is really very annoying and unnerving. She checked the number of contacts that I have given, rummaged in my mail on the phone. Definitely came to the recorder, check the latest recording and watching, I did not write down our conversation with her. Similarly watched the last photo. The rest I do not know, because I did not see where she rummaged and what to do in my phone.

In the end she gave me a touching lecture on what the Arabs are bad and good Jews. How treacherous Arabs hide behind schools and hospitals, to shell Israeli settlements. "That had a rocket from the Gaza Strip and 20 km are not flying, and now they knock over Haifa and Tel Aviv! And all Asada deliver these missiles to terrorists, and your Putin Assad's support among other things! That's before everything was fine, everyone loved the Jews and the Arabs do not. And now what? Now the whole world starts to love and pity the Arabs and the Jews see the aggressor. How so? And all these bitches, journalists who travel like this in Israel, and then write all garbage. »

At some point, I felt a little sorry for her, I again began to think that we will become the best of friends, but in time came to himself and remembered the advice of their lawyer.



It lasted about an hour. She even caught me a few times on the inconsistencies in my answers, but nothing criminal was kind of was.

- Do you want something else to add? - She asked, finishing the conversation.

- And me still have any questions?

- I do not know, it's up to you.

- No, nothing more to add I do not want.

- Then we'll wait ... I'm afraid that for a long time.

After two hours, they gave me a passport and allowed to enter Israel. I decided for myself that unless absolutely necessary no longer come here. It is better to Syria or Emirates.

When I left, the Taliban detained along with me, explaining something about the deportation.

Now Israeli comments, readers will start its traditional song about: "We have such a situation, we cherish our special services, we are willing to tolerate discomfort for the sake of safety!" The security services and security in Israel really stands out. But my case specifically says that the intelligence agencies are working poorly. I am absolutely not the man who had 4:00 to interrogate and keep in a small room with the Taliban. If you prefer, you can naguglit 10 minutes all about my travels, in which countries I was that doing there, etc. During that perfect security officer flirted with me in the cabinets, the country could enter the real terrorist. 4:00 But the time spent several Israeli security officers to ensure that Viasna why Varlamov was in Arab countries.

A few tips for those who decided to go to Israel.

- Be prepared for the fact that your phone, camera and laptop will inspect. If you hesitate, it is better to remove a collection of home porn. In text messages and e-mail can also climb.

- It is better to initially tell the truth and do not try to hide something. Still dig. Control in several levels, different people asking you the same questions, and then collate that you meet

- It is better to have with all print tickets and hotel reservation. If you meet someone, have a contact that person. Make sure your phone is charged, maybe it will be necessary to make calls

- Be prepared for the fact that at the entrance you will lose a lot of time. The same applies to the exit. Away from Israel questioned more often than at the entrance. For this reason, it is recommended to come to the airport 3-4 hours before departure.

- No one believe. Good cops do not happen.