Team Russia is clearly not enough Violin and skates ...

Man returns from a trip home, opens the closet, and there naked lover, smiling peasant and says:
 - Well, how long can you wait prativno!

The State Duma is just an unspoken competition for the best for profecsii who invent the stupidest law and will be able to push through it for execution throughout the country in order and stick.

 - All. Giving - says Abramovich - no longer can.
 - Drink throw, dear? Or smoke? You throw a business ?!
 - You fool! You throw.

Sensation! In Ukraine, comes Paul McCartney! On the whole money is not enough, apparently ...

David Villa: "My dream is to score a hat-trick at the European Championships».
Gazprom - a dream come true.

At a meeting of the Yushchenko-Medvedev, the President of Ukraine expressed the view that it is not averse to give Russia the Crimea, but do not know how it is technically and legally formalize. In this connection, he asked his Russian counterpart to set an example and give the first islands to Japan.

Wife crossword puzzles, her husband asks, chewing dinner:
 - Brazilian striker CSKA Moscow, performing a pas after each goal is scored?
 - Jo ...
 - You may ask that, once you send in your ass!

All wives are divided into three categories:
1. Beautiful
2. True
3. Beautiful and faithful, but the inflatable!

Of the five concepts listed below, select one that is not associated in meaning with four others: airplanes, helicopters, spacecraft, tram, hemp.
Of course, hemp: Only it is not a machine.
Wrong. The correct answer - the tram: it is not only a means for the flight.

Playing Symphony Orchestra. The work is over, all the instruments fell silent, only bassist continued: 'boom, boom, boom, boom'.
Finally, he is also ends the game, wiping a sweaty forehead and says:
 - Phew, barely caught ...

A man crawling through the desert, sees the diamond - which thinks shove. Okay ass shove. Crawling on, he sees gold - think where to shove. Okay ass shove. Crawling on seeing a large ruby, thinking - where to shove. Okay ass shove.
Then he heard his wife's voice:
 - Bob wake up, you yourself have sex in the ass stuffed mattress.

Shmulevich came to the rabbi:
 - Rabbi! It happened to me in great trouble! Right and left of my shop opened two huge supermarket! What do I do?
 - Do not worry so much! Write on my door in huge letters "LOG».

A call to the intensive care unit:
 - Alla! Alla! Resuscitation? Tell me, citizen Ivanov you lying there, like he was still alive until?
 - Not yet ...

The teacher meets a former student:
 - Well, what are you now doing?
 - Meteorology.
 - M-da-ah ... And it was so honest, truth-boy.

I'm tired of this look for a crack, although there are pluses - as porn looked already!

 - Have you heard of such a place, where ever happen the same terrible things?
 - Yeah. Live in front of the brewery, sampling obsykayut years ... No, stsuko - generations !!!

Pole vaulter in the performance of an unsuccessful attempt to lost virginity ...

... At yesterday's corporate parties Masha Malinovskaya after removal of the Lower House has not been able to close its ballot box.

 - Mom, you told me to eat anything cooked?
 - Of course, I prepared. I'm your spice thrown into the soup!
 - K-some seasoning?
 - Well, like what? That was in the box! Hehe! The box-morobke! Ha ha ha! Seasoning miprava-in box-morobke!


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