Common errors in communication between people Bashny.Net

Productive communication - the key to success in society and in rabote

Bad habits in communication lead to the destruction of relationships, and this, incidentally, is one of the reasons why it is still not at peace throughout the world. Here - the most common mistake made by all of us, often without even knowing etom.1. We do not use in conversation the word 'we' News: chat - it's not a contest. At least, it should not be. However, many people consider the other person as "the enemy." They talk to him in the language, "I am against you." Should rethink this approach, and think of themselves as part of the team. We should work together and not against each other. Working to solve the problem, not to be pobeditelem.2. We do not maintain eye kontaktKak often we look into your smartphone at the moment when someone is something we said? Or a laptop, or television? Even if you do not find yourself in such activities, you can be assured that they are. But each of us was on the other side - when people do not look at us when we give them something to talk about. How do you feel when that happens? Not very good, right? So why not live by the golden rule, "Treat others as you want them to treat you? 3. PerebivaemChto you tell people when they interrupt? In fact, you say, "What I want to say is much more important than what you say, so be silent." It's not too pleasant message, right? Women are usually interrupted by the excitement, or because they fear to forget what to say. Men tend to interrupt, to underline his own power. But in any case it is the other party says, "I am more important than you" .4. Demonstrate disregard for using language telaDevyanosto percent of the meaning of the message contained in the language of the body. It's a lot. Eye contact - is also part of the language of the body, but only a small part. What about your posture? You are slightly tilted to the other person, or your body is located so that just screams "I absolutely do not care what you say?" And what about the inclination of the head? And how close (or vice versa - how far) you are from the interlocutor? All this - the other party sends a strong message. As the saying goes, sometimes actions speak louder slov.

5. Do not rephrase and repeat what he says sobesednikVy ever told someone something, experiencing a vague feeling that they are, in fact, do not want to hear what you are saying? Of course, they can tell you "Mmm hmm ..." or "Yes ..." or "... Yeah." But you know what they actually have not slyshat.Eto - time to paraphrase povtora.Poprobuyte and say something like, "So, you said that when I was late, you start to worry, right?" This will show the other party that you will not only be heard but also taken care of, to paraphrase what he said, just to show him that you are his uslyshali.6. It has been suggested before itself soobschenieVeroyatno hear you once showed all kind people, "Oh, I do not even want doslushivat it to the end - I know what you're going to say!" If yes, then do not do it. Surely you do not like it when others have suggested that you're going to tell them. Therefore, you should not assume anything zaranee.7. Let your emotions speak for Vasvi so evil that is about to need to pop in anger? Well, of course. Through it all go. But do not let your emotions control you. Before the conversation, try to cool down, so you do not have to regret that uttered. Then, when the ability to reason logically back, is about to re-read the first paragraph the word "we." Remember - you are a team, and this - not konkurentsiya.8. Not Asking leading questions sobesednikuFrazami "Tell me more about the interesting case with you" or "What do you think about this?" We give the other party to understand that they are interested in so that the requested detailed information. This is called "deep questions". Ask people to tell the details. Are invited to share his thoughts. Concerns and interests with the people doing the real chudesa.9. Referring to himself and his own life more than interested sobesednikomEsli you never interlocutors interested in what happens in their life, then you look in their eyes is incredibly self-centered. There are people who when they met 95% of the time talking exclusively about himself. It would be nice to give the opportunity to speak and sobesedniku.

10. We should certainly "win" in the dispute again relationship - no match. Recognize that you are not right - it's not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of maturity. One can not always be right, people make mistakes, it is in their prirode.Tak that recognition errors are unlikely poshatnёt your position in society. It only shows that you can be trusted, because you can afford the luxury of chestnost.11. To criticize the interlocutor, not his words or deystviyaSkolko times have you heard (or said) things like: "You are unbearable, I do not want to talk to you!", And maybe even sorry about it later. All of us from time to time we behave badly, but criticism of the interlocutor - the non-constructive way of communicating. In truth, such a dispute would be quickly lost, and the discussion will turn to offensive perepalku.12. To believe that people - telepatyLyudey able to read the thoughts of others, does not exist. So why do we expect them to have? Women, as a rule, this sin is more likely than men - they use indirect, rather than direct wording. But if you really want to be understood, must speak plainly. Otherwise, you will not be able to attract companions to justice, should they distort the meaning of your mysterious poslaniya.13. Subject to the "language of powerlessness" This is such an incredibly polite language, giving power over someone. For example: "I'm sorry, I do not you bother if ..." "Very!" Or, "This may be a stupid idea, but ..." "Of course, silly!" Do not use this kind of phrases you do not want to the source plugged you rot.14. We allow all straight distract our attention from sobesednikaVash phone. TV. Thoughts. Bad attitude. There are an infinite number of things that impede us to listen carefully as possible interlocutor. With all of these things have to be careful. If you do not, then you will inevitably sends a message type of interlocutor "It deserves my attention a lot more than you" 15. Do not be sensitive and ponimaniyaVy see your way on his own. Someone else sees it differently. So who of you is right? It all depends on who is asked, is not it? Sometimes there is no "objective" reality. This is just the way a person sees it. Sensitivity and understanding of what the other person's experience is real only for himself - is the key to good relations.

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