11 Weird Things Only Highly Anxious People Will Understand

You're typing a message. Re-reading it. Deleting half of it. Writing it again. Thinking: "Does this period at the end sound too aggressive?". Sighing and adding a smiley face. Sound familiar? If so, welcome to the club. Take any free seat (preferably near the exit, we understand everything).

People with high anxiety are not some strange aliens. And they are definitely not those who are just "worrying too much". Rather, they are high-class experts in potential disasters of the fifth degree. Our brain works like a radar, scanning reality for any, even the most microscopic, threats. And what seems like a quirk to others is for us a mechanism of survival, honed over the years, in a world where there is too much uncertainty.

Let's be honest. There are things that only someone whose nervous system is constantly working at high speeds will understand. And no, there's nothing wrong with you. It's just that your internal processor is a little overheated.

1. Rehearsing conversations. Until you're blue in the face

No, we're not preparing for a TED talk. We're just going to call the pizza delivery place. Or answer a colleague at the water cooler. The anxious brain sincerely believes that if we play out all 14 possible scenarios of the dialogue in our head, we will be safe. How to order coffee, how to say "no" so that you are not hated for the rest of your life.

The funniest thing? When this conversation finally happens, it doesn't go according to the script at all. The barista asks a sudden question about the syrup, and the whole home preparation flies into the abyss. But the brain still puts a checkmark: "We prepared, we did well."

2. Planning as religion

Plans are our oxygen. Any unpredictability is an icy shower. We look at street panoramas in Google Maps in advance to understand what the entrance to a new cafe looks like. We read the menus of establishments online, sitting at home on the couch, so as not to stand in front of the waiter with the look of a first-grader who has forgotten a poem.

Random encounters? Spontaneous trips? Probably not. Give me a schedule, a route, and three backup options in case of rain.

3. Incoming call = small death

The phone is ringing. The melody that once seemed pleasant now sounds like an air raid siren. The world around freezes. Answering right now means jumping off a cliff without insurance into the abyss of improvisation.

We can spend hours writing long, witty messages in the messenger. But one call from an unknown number can make us forget our own name. "Maybe they'll call back? Or text? Please, just text."

4. Black belt in fidgeting

Twirling a ring on your finger. Clicking a pen. Stroking the seam on your jeans. Folding and unfolding a paper check from the store. People around may not even notice this, but our hands are constantly busy with something. This is not a bad habit. This is a pressure relief valve.

Through these small, rhythmic movements, we release excess adrenaline. Sometimes you suddenly find that you have disassembled a lighter into molecules while listening to the boss at a meeting. It happens.

5. Epic battles with simple tasks

Make an appointment with the dentist. Send an important (or not so important) email. For an ordinary person, this is a matter of three minutes. For us, it's a full-fledged project.

We write a letter, reread it five times. Check commas. Change "Sincerely" to "Yours truly". Then we decide that it's too pretentious. We return it back. We press the "Send" button and sit for another hour, staring at the wall, analyzing: was I too dry when I said hello?

6. Endless search for confirmation

"Are you sure you're not offended?", "Is everything okay?", "Did I say something stupid?". We ask these questions not because we want to attract attention. We are desperately looking for a foothold.

Anxiety whispers in our ear that we have screwed up somewhere and now everyone secretly hates us. The answer "everything is fine" gives short-term relief. It's a pity that after a couple of hours the anxiety returns, demanding a new dose of guarantees.

7. Guilt for resting

Lie on the couch with a series? Sounds great. But exactly ten minutes later, an unpleasant feeling begins to scratch inside: "You're wasting your time. The world is collapsing while you're lying here. You don't deserve this break."

For an anxious person, productivity is armor. While you're doing something, running, solving problems - anxiety can't catch up with you. But stopping is perceived by the psyche as a risk. Therefore, we get tired twice: first from work, and then from the fact that we can't relax.

8. Spare exit always in sight

Wherever we are - at a party, at a work meeting, in a movie theater - we subconsciously scan the space. We sit on the edge. Preferably so that you can see the door. We always have a legal reason to leave ("I need to walk the dog", "I have to get up early in the morning"). This is not paranoia. This is a guarantee that if the internal container overflows, we will be able to evacuate without unnecessary questions.

9. Architects of other people's misfortunes

We worry not only about ourselves. We take responsibility for the entire universe. A friend went to an interview? We're more nervous than he is. Mom doesn't answer the phone for 15 minutes? A Hollywood disaster movie is already being written in our head.

And then we start to get nervous because we're too nervous. A vicious circle that is very difficult to jump out of.

10. Jury trial over every choice

Buy a black jacket or a dark blue one? Order pasta or salad? Simple decisions turn into a painful analysis. After all, if you choose the wrong one, something will happen... what? No one knows, but the brain is sounding the alarm.

And the most annoying thing is that after making a choice, we continue to doubt. "I should have taken the blue one. Definitely. Black makes me look fat and attracts dust in general. What a mistake."

11. Radio "What if...?" broadcasts 24/7

The main problem is not that we are afraid of the future. The problem is that the brain doesn't know how to turn off this broadcast.

"What if I come too early? What if I'm late? What if I make a joke and no one laughs?". This is a personal podcast about fears that you can't pause. And here you are lying at two in the morning in your soft bed and suddenly with crystal clarity you remember how in 2018 you answered "you too" to the waiter who wished you a good appetite. And that's it. Sleep is canceled.

You know... if you recognize yourself in at least half of these points - exhale. You are not broken. Your nervous system is just trying very hard to protect you, even in such ridiculous ways. Allow yourself to be imperfect, cancel plans if you don't have the strength, and don't answer the phone when an unfamiliar number calls. After all, that's what answering machines were invented for.