5 points! Bashny.Net

America. Small town.
 Barber.
 Hairdressers cuts his regular customer.
 - What are the plans for the vacation, old man? - He asks him.
 - I want to go to Moscow, - he responds.
 - In Moscow!!! In this dirty, smelly city where garbage is not removed and the street thugs and go Bears! What do you mean, sir ?! Do not you dare !!!
 - Still, I will go. After all, my grandparents once lived there!
 - And what airline you fly? - Asks the hairdressers.
 - Aeroflot! - The answers.
 - Mother dear, this is the most filthy airline. It stinks of kerosene, a terrible anguish and disgusting food. A couple of hours late, you are guaranteed.
 - And yet I'm going!
 - Okay, and what hotel you stay in Moscow?
 - The "Russian»!
 - What a nightmare! There's a bunch of prostitutes dray prices range cockroaches and merzopakosny staff.
 - I'm going in anyway!
 - And what will you do in Moscow? - Not appeased hairdressers.
 - I want to go to the Lenin Mausoleum!
 - ?????? .. There is a huge line, circle police and frisk. Vile and disgusting!
 - Nothing will stop me! - Meets the client.
 A couple of months after the trip, he comes to barber's.
 - Hey, buddy, - says hairdressers - like a trip? The truth if I told you about Moscow?
 - You know, I really liked Moscow. They have a new mayor, Yuri Luzhkov, and he brought order there. Around purity, low crime, and I did not see bears!
 - Well, like Aeroflot? All I said?
 - Not really. The plane was nearly empty, so we transplanted in the 1st grade. The food is excellent and the hostess was very sweet and pretty girl.
 - Oh, and the hotel, though, trash ?!
 - What do you! They've recently made repairs and has been a week of discounts, so that I lived in a suite! No prostitutes and cockroaches.
 - Well, Lenin saw something? - Not appeased hairdressers.
 - Imagine seen. And you would not believe. I stand in line, suddenly comes a man in civilian clothes, takes me aside and says that their scientists had just performed a miracle and were able to revive Lenin, and that he wants to talk to someone from the crowd. And they chose me for this purpose.
 - God, I can not believe! And what Lenin told you?
 - Yes, just a few words: "My friend, and who is it you so hgenovo podstgig ...?"