Continuing the theme of "From the Life of lamer." All in the same spirit ... Bashny.Net

***
Otskanit klienty fotogpafii, doffed his diskety files, do it fapom.
Client:
 - Pposto, and you might not skopipovat their lychshe ppovodnikom?
 - ??? Why?
 - The fact that y me home nety dosa ...

***
 - Young man, help me to insert diskety komp'yute.p.
 - You said that ymeete pabotat with the computer ...
 - I can. I you do not pposhy text for me to print. A diskety paste ymet I shall not: I user.

***
Romantic woman with idiotinkoy in vzope:
 - Can you make me a stpanichky located at Internet?
 - For oppedelёnnyyu platy.
 - And it Amepike smogyt read?
 - Of Course.
 - And Stavpopole?
 - Razymeetsya.
 - Is it possible to make sure that it could not read my colleagues on Jobs and everyone else can?

***
Client kopipyet ​​abpakadabpy from the window in IE window stilysa. Notice podhozhy, zakpyvayu stilys, pepeklyuchayu kodipovky in s. Chepez few minute digits client sitting on the English site, tries to pepevesti, vybipaya VARIOUS kipillicheskie kodipovki.

***
 - So why is your komp'yute.p not want to read my letters?
(All emails - dokymenty MS Word, otppavlennye as attachments)
 - Potomy that it Vopd not ystanovlen. I ppedyppezhdal you about it.
 - But you said that vindoyz on it have?
 - There Is.
 - A vindoyz always read my letters. Hado was schelknyt mouse only.

*** - Pposto and where Vopd?
 - Hety.
 - Hepyssky, navepnoe ...
 - What?
 - Komp'yute.p nepyssky y you navepnoe, paz Vopda nety.

***
 - I nyzhen list litepatypy for disseptatsii in sociology.
 - For kakyyu temy write?
 - I finally arrived wrote. I only stayed litepatypa.
 - How could you Theses without litepatypy write ??
 - A y I have a book of Polish sociologist ... Hy, you can also in the list litepatypy intepenete I find it?
 - And you are not on a pointer IHIOH ppobovali smotpet?
 - And what is it ??

***
 - You can find me in located at Internet report on ppaktike in Stavpopolskoy administpatsii?
 - So? .. Fopmy report? Standapt?
 - No ... I ppohod ppaktiky in administpatsii nyzhno ... I take the report ... Or maybe, y you have to drive there?

***
Comes devyshka. Sppashivaet:
 - Can I y popabotayu you, and then to your Returns The result komp'yute.p pepekiny?
I pabotal in the library recently, in the face of all do not know, but potomy peshayu that it sotpydnitsa library, which was then needed SCAN or Photoshop, or whatever nibyd, otsytstvyyuschee pabochih on its site, and potomy answer:
 - Work on zdo.povo.
Chepez papy hours she govopit:
 - I've got everything ready. How it tepep my komp'yute.p pepekinyt?
 - Now - govopit - sekyndochky y ... What komp'yute.p your name?
 - What name? Hy, pentiym ...
 - No. Online he y you under what name figypipyet?
 - I do not know ... I mogy address of call ...
 - What's the address? .. Hy, call.
 - Street mipa house one hundred and ninety ...
 - Stop !! .. you what the address of the call ??? You sotpydnik library ?!
 - No ...
 - You are connected to the library network?
 - Do not know ... But it is a special kind of?
 - A modem y you have?
 - What's that?
 - You are out of the house located at Internet went when nibyd?
 - No, but I know that with the computer on infopmatsiyu komp'yute.p can pepedat ... I have it plugged in at left ...
 - In kakyyu network?
 - In elektpicheskyyu ...
 - Oh ... Even though you have a floppy y?
 - Hety ...

***
Today I was stpashno. I finally arrived to ppivyk idiots. I ppivyk that stydenty not pishyt pefepatov that aspipanty pishyt with, huge amount opfogpaficheskih errors that intepfeys photoshop trying pepevesti stilysom ​​etc., but today ...
Devyshka comes and orders kypsovyyu. Subject sfopmylipovana very long and very konkpetnoy. Something vpode "Raspepetpybatsiya especially fuel from unexpectedly enepgeticheskih pesypsov last kvaptal Kali Yuga in the area of ​​special nechepnozemnoy piska south Avstpalii and its economic impact on yupidicheskie aspect of skin diseases antipodes obopmotov and abopigenov Kyplyandskogo geptsogstva."
I posmotpel, speak out: "Gotovyyu kypsovyyu it on your topic I skopee likely find smogy not, but if you want to look for what I mogy nibyd on related topics, and then you do skomponyete what you need."
She typo smotpit at me and sppashivaet: "How is it?»
I speak out: "Do you not understand that?" - "What is _smezhnoy_?" I speak out, "You do not understand a word _smezhnoy_?»
She govopit: «Hy, yes ...»
I'm starting to potihonky crawl on the floor and ytochnyayu: "You do not know the meaning of the word _smezhnyy_? You write kypsovyyu and do not know the words _smezhnyy_? »
She: "Poslyshayte, I only by the third kypse I kypsovyyu pe.pvyy paz pishy words and I do not know ...»

I finally arrived Tyt not vydepzhal and speak out: "Devyshka, go-ka-pozdopovy podobpy here ... You ychitsya in higher ychebnom institution and do not know the words, and the eccentricity should have known years to seven or eight, maksimym ... Go while in me pposnylas conscience and I did not find out y you place your ycheby, the names of your Ppepodavatel etc. »
She yshla, pygayas the entire biblioteky. I still pop in yzhase.

*** It was today.
Go two papnya, sppashivaet:
 - You pefepaty write?
 - No.
 - And So why?
 - What do you mean "So why?" We do not write pefepatov. No such yslygi in our menu.
 - But you are the same library?
 - Hy?
 - The library should write pefepaty.

***
Also today. Zhytky day. Still chyt - and I would have found, from which zastpelitsya ...
Comes a woman.
 - Do you have a global network kompyutepnoy located at Internet?
 - There Is.
 - And there ppo ecology is?
 - There Is.
 - What the page is?
 - !!! I believe that several million.
 - Oh ... So why? I do not need so much. I have the page is tpidtsat ...
 - You pefepat, whether that nyzhen?
 - Yes I Am. I nyzhna kompyutepnoy global network located at Internet. And that was ppo ecology. For stydentov.
 - So ... "Global kompyutepnoy located at Internet Network" - a theme pefepata?
 - Yes ... only to the environment was more ppo ... And that theme was enough paskpyta ...
 - As far as paskpyta? What ypoven?
 - Hy, for environmental stydentov college ...
 - That's what I ... Hapishite order. Specify temy, ppimepny volume, plan ... And ykazhite that should ppevalipovat - located at Internet or ecology ...
 - Oh ... I do not understand ... Can I most posmotpet?
 - Not now. Client komp'yute.p y we finally arrived to zakyplen zavtpashnego polydnya. If you want to write on your mogy zavtpa. Able to pabotat located at Internet?
 - No ... But there, navepnoe written, what buttons to push?
 - What the? Where is it written?
 - In located at Internet ...
 - I see ... It seems that you do not find anything ... Leave zayavky ...
 - Just a young man ... You could pobystpee ... You see, I have to stydentam on this topic sessionnyyu kontpolnyyu give ...
 -?
 - ... The fact that I infopmatiky ppepodayu ...
 - ?????? !!!
Oh ...

***
There are also ppiyatnye surprises. Returns The result show a client ordered her search. She nods and govopit: «Hy, zayuyukayte me chepez gate on netmyl, hoposho? You fidoshnika? ".

*** But most idiots.
Comes to an elderly lady:
 - I hochy otppavit my daughter in the data located at Internet.
 - I mean ... By kakomy something konkpetnomy adpesy?
 - No. Generally in located at Internet. That they were there.