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From the Life of gynecologists (theme ... uh-uh ... touchy, nervous, please go directly to the next story):
 It works my friend Matthew gynecologist usual district antenatal clinic. Yesterday, drank, shared about their sorrows.
 Like all doctors, have Matthew's "favorite" patients. I mean those, after which the doctor can not continue to receive because of the frequent cramps from laughing. The most "favorite" - twenty Lizonka with her mom. First mother brought up in sanctimonious tradition, and I am confident that before the wedding - no, no ... And my daughter keeps a tight rein - after each disco to Matthew to confirm innocence. The very same Lizonka - girl with nimfomanskimi tendencies, almost always successfully anchored temperamental maman. In practice - this is because it turns out not always keep up. So Lisa, managed to remain innocent, feminine pads used for other purposes in the amount of five pieces at a time, and Matthew - took out, then scratch the appropriate places, and Matthew - Lechi.
 But it's flowers. Recently Lizonka arranged throughout the consultation such incident that half of doctors (including the dominant women's team chat) from the treatment of binge can not leave until now ...
 In general, I sent Lisa local therapist with symptoms - nausea and vomiting and with a suspected pregnancy a gynecologist. It is natural to Matthew. Matthew was already glad that finally a weekly test of innocence is over, and imagined how he will celebrate the release of the duo's brilliant "Lizonka and mother," but it was not there. When viewed Lisa appeared still innocent, like a baby. It turns out that is not pregnant. But disappointment Matthew decides to take revenge - hands mummy direction to the analysis of the "pregnant, not pregnant." Mother, before already on the nerves, remove to predinfarktnoe state.
 But what a surprise it was the doctor, when the analysis clearly showed - pregnant. "Naturally, the laboratory was wrong" - Matthew decided. And went to retake, secretly enjoying the appearance of Lisa's mother expresses:
 "Uncle Doctor, you have only more so do not frighten, and we have more will not get."
 Retake been forced to look for Matthew validol the neighboring offices, because the result was again positive. I had to call the lab with mats and write the next line.
 After the arrival of these results in the most physically strong colleagues kept inadequate Matthew trying to break into the lab and, to put it mildly, to kill the lab. Guess three times, what was the result of the analysis? That's right, Lisa was pregnant.
 On examination, Matthew spent on the couch near the raskoryachennoy Lisa least half an hour trying to figure out through a hole she could get pregnant. A suitable diameter was not found, so the girl was sent to the US. Dragged weary days of waiting, the situation did not allow the attending physician rest ... At the reception the first time Lisa came without a mother, "and mom had a heart attack, it is tracked after the US." When Matthew read form ultrasound, there was a desire to rest up and he, because it was written in the form: & quot; ... a lively fruit ... & quot ;, the term - 10 weeks. Then my friend came up, he was faced with previously unknown case of the Immaculate Conception, and he shines the glory or assistant during gestation in the womb of new Jesus, a Nobel Prize or, if not lucky - a madhouse ...
 I will not torment the reader riddles, like did not torture me one. Everything there was an explanation. It turns out that for a long time Lizonka was a young man, but then they did not go petinga, bearing in mind the permanent inspections. But even peting, it tends to annoy all the tiresome and begins to diversify.
 As a result, a new miracle medicine was created silly mature couple using a syringe. How to explain the future blameless parents - watched on TV program about the artificial insemination of cattle and decided to try it in makeshift conditions. Since both of intelligence equal to the sheep, turned ...
 The story has a happy ending - appointed wedding, decided to leave the child, Matthew was invited to witness and godfather. Himself Matthew think about the immediate transfer to another job - this will have to watch the entire pregnancy Lizonka, then postnatal care, and can still be born and a daughter ...