Hunger - no aunt)))

Just yesterday I was in a terrible traffic jam on the third ring in Moscow. Machinery moved at a speed of 3 kilometers per hour, and this was the maximum speed. As luck would have it, going into the cork (or rather, from work - back home), I took stock of provisions for a couple of days.
Not only that - I forgot to eat dinner, for that matter, and dinner. It is therefore not surprising that hunger in me an hour overcame hatred to the incompetent mayor who is unable to organize the normal movement in the city. And unfortunately, in the stream in front of me loomed painted "Oka" with the words "delivery of a hot pizza." And, of course, this is the hottest pizza was photographed in all its glory, and glued to the back door. There was written and telephone. I broke down and dialed it.

 - Hello! The girl is a pizza delivery?
 - Yes, thank you for your call. How did you hear about us?
 - Your car is going to ten meters in front of me. It's all written.
 - OK. So what your pizza? Are you ready to order?
 - I honestly do not know what he's lucky, but I'm ready to eat any. You can contact with the driver and asked him to sell me one?
 - Uh-uh ... I think not. We work according to orders, and he was carrying a pizza to customers who have already made this order.
 - Girl, you understand. Here jam for three hours. Your customers will still die of starvation before he will reach. Moreover, by the time the pizza is cold. Customers will swear. In my opinion, much easier to send you another machine to bypass the damn cork, and the pizza, driven by your courier, sell me. And everyone will be happy.
 - No, you can not. They have already ordered, but you are not. But you can order now.
 - Where? In the cork?
 - But why? If, for example, know that in half an hour will have some famous buildings, store or even some places with the address, I can send a car there. Just tell you exactly.
 - Yes, I can tell if I have no idea how much'll have to stay here? Also on the third ring no houses, no shops. And send you a courier too tightly rise in traffic. Agree that it is easier to connect with the one that goes in front of me.
 - Wait a minute, I know. And what his license plate number?
 - E 123 MH.
 - A realized. Now. Hung on the tube. (After a pause.) Well, I have learned. This Toll, and he's got two burning order.
 - I told you that he would not have time. Call customers to explain the situation to them. Well, you are not guilty, that in a city such jams. So him and tell.
 - One had himself called. He swears.
 - Well, you see? I warned you.
 - He swears and is willing to wait. He noted the time. And he said that he would write to the newspaper about what we mess with pizza. And indicate the exact time as he waited.
 - Well, you see, that he brawler? Why do so to carry the pizza? Explain to him that you were closed, destroyed and is no longer running. And let him forget your phone forever.
 - He will not forget. This is our regular customer, and his discount. And he said that the case so do not leave.
 - Well, to hell with it. And what is the second customer? After all, he does not seem to call?
 - Not yet. Perhaps it's not urgent, and he will not swear.
 - Do not rush? Yes, she does not need it! The person who really wants a pizza, would have called fifty times. And time does not ring, you can generally forget that ordered. What's with him? I'm ready to eat it and pay for urgency.
 - Wait, I'll try to contact with the driver. Powys is, okay? (Aside.) Len, give me a second phone. Hello, Tolia? Well, where are you all? Where? I did not get that. Where? Yeah, I understood. What to order? What? How to deliver? True? No, really? Umnichka you're mine! One? And second? What? Toll, you bad breath. What? What?! Roofing felt, so I some what offended you? Tolenka, oh please! Well, I beg you! It's Kochumarovu, he is our regular customer. Shreds Well ... Well, do you want me ... What? WHAT?! YES How could you! What?! No, you're lying! Tell me that you're lying! Shreds, Viktor Ivanovich slaughter you! Do you understand me? No, do you understand me ?! All the while, Tolia. You do not want to know! And I from you did not expect. (Me.) Hello, are you listening?
 - Yeah, I listen. What's happened to your Tolik?
 - (Through tears.) He dismissed!
 - Dismiss? Great! Then I'll catch up with him, the last buy a pizza, and it will be his severance pay.
 - No, it will not!
 - But why, if he quits anyway? Does he want to deliver the final order?
 - No! He does not want! He ate this pizza !!!
 (Sobs transformed into a tantrum, and short beeps forever.)


See also


We on Google+