READINESSTO — issue price Bashny.Net

A slap, a bite, a sarcastic remark, a joke, degrading, humiliating attitude, and outright meanness – people are willing to overlook.

“Turn the right cheek if you hit on the left”, James: note, teach myself that nothing is not there, it is so small thing, it was funny everyone laughed and went on, why focus. “I'm not hurt – do not pay attention.”

Even resentment for its sharp needle does not touch the heart, even treacherous't lump rises to my throat and tears hot wave could cloud the eyes. “There is nothing. Everything is fine.”

How normal? You just trampled in the mud, dance in your body crushed, spat, and a bunch more done on top? And everything is fine?





OK...

At some point the man amputated his feelings, which are responsible for pain, hurt, rage, anger... Separated them from himself. “I am, and no feelings”. And here she is a rag doll stuffed with wool inside — “don't want”. It does not hurt. Everything is fine. Always embroidered a smile on her face.

And if still available the pain? If resentment is felt, even how it feels – grabs, chokes, reduces spasm in the throat, scatter my treacherous eyes... but swallowed...

“Why does he do that? How could he... I love him.
“How could she, and another friend called...”
“Oh God, how unlucky I am...”

 

Healthy aggression is the one that needs to straighten up and spring to give the offender in the eye, is turned inward, rolled into a grudge and feeling sorry for myself.

Or becomes an instrument of self-flagellation.

Why not to him? Not to the offender?

Well, first of all- scary. A lot of that can be scary – both for their physical condition and financial well-being, and in all his after all, harmonious life. But primarily for the fact that he will leave. Or girlfriend the best ... And I'll stay one...

You threw girlfriend? You stayed in a long dented the school hallway all alone, knowing that home will have to go alone? And tomorrow, to stand one on the reverse, and all will whisper in piles, and no one to approach? Then you remember that feeling.

And can you remember a time when mom just held hands, looked gently into his eyes, kissed on the cheek and patted on the head, and for a second you got distracted, because the teacher has enticed some kind of doll, and BAM – mom, no! Where? Where? Why? Where did it go? And here I am alone, all alone among a heap of unfamiliar and foreign to my children and a gentle teacher had his back turned and only the hem of her dress and somewhere high up the head and hands. And all I one. No one. Or moments of infancy, when the most important person in the world suddenly disappeared. And a terrible, aching sense of loneliness filled all around.

In childhood and adolescence this fear makes us make friends with those who can not be called friends.

And in adulthood – to hold fast to the hand of those who shpynyat, bites, beats, more of whom cannot be trusted to consider a friend or equal partner in life, who does much more harm than good, but provides one – connectivity.

It ensures the illusion of “neodinochestva”. A no, and attention; what-no, and touching; some no, but the fullness of life. Readinessto.

People willing to pay themselves, resources, their identity, their world and their body, if only this important feature has not disappeared.

Any presentation of their interests and boundaries may jeopardize our “friendship” and “love”, so I better not notice or offended, say nothing.

There are mentally immature people who are not ready, something to discuss. For them the “friendship” and “love” is the complete Mergence, where “you agree with me, but if not, then nothing at all”. “If you don't like something, let's break up”.





Friendship, love, relationship is the interaction between the two worlds, different in essence. On the border of these worlds that one encounters. Priotkryvaet meet another person we change, allowing the other to become a part of our world. But there are internal borders, the breach of which causes irreparable damage to the individual. And then pay for it to be near too high.published

Author: Irina Dubova

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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Source: dybova.ru/news/nezamechennaya-bol-plata-za-to-chtoby-byt-ryadom/