Diagnosis Bashny.Net

Most car in Moscow - torment. Not to be reconstructed or park. Hardly had the office center at the curb stood. Good three Zhiguli drove off, the place was released. Something like squeezed, and there is time, came out to warm up.
Here comes up to me little girl in a white robe.
 - Hi, - said as she waved a folder, beckons. - Take some time. In our clinic today for free medical examination.
Pleasant this girl - a real gown neckline and above the knees.
 - You can, - I said - just do not want to leave the car. Another scribbled something.
 - So you can see it out the window. Fifteen minutes Survey on imported equipment and get a full diagnosis.
Look, I already lead somewhere. Above the porch inscription Clinic something there, a doctor in glasses with a beard on the porch of marking time, waiting for us.
 - Hello, Dr. so and so, and health - he introduced himself.
Inside brought, undressed, everything is beautiful. The diplomas on the wall. Aquarium with fish. The chair sat. Tackle by any device, wires hung, lights flash, sitting as a tree in the chain.
The doctor behind the monitor only has time to press the button and the diagnosis is made.
 - Alopecia you - says.
 - What?
 - Hair Loss. Wherein the second step proceeds first.
It had to do to look at the monitor.
 - Hair somewhere left? - The doctor took unfilled history and began to write with a flourish on the front page.
 - For the ears, armpits, in other places, legs.
 - Dial - he consoled - will be transplanted in Switzerland, where it will work. Let's go below. Tonsils you do nothing ...
 - Doctor! I do not have tonsils! They cut out in the last century.
 - I say nothing. No glands, but not good bunch. Thickening and nesmykanie. Because voice hoarse. This is what we injections and physical therapy to correct. Six months later, sing a different tune as the Basque Country. Now the heart. Three way valve itself, and one can see a replacement urgently aortic-coronary. This is what we in Israel rotate. Return plane medbort will order the operation, if all goes well, in two weeks you're at home.
 - Conversely, the same plane?
 - In any case return the aircraft. Osteochondrosis hardware massage recovered, but rather radically. A little less often podshlifuem vertebrae.
As for the liver it to you at the clinic Presidential Administration cleaned. There's a lot of experience and appropriate conditions. Puncture take right now.
Look, my medical history swollen eyes. The main thing, knew that with me that something is not right, but still could not get to doctors, medical examinations to pass.
 - Overweight you, get out as the seat subsided. It takes truncation stomach liposuction, followed by removal of scars and plastic skin. France recommend arrange through us forward. It is possible to leave on the French Riviera combine. Now, to be honest, at night, get up to the toilet?
 - We have to.
 - All right, - he nods, - or rather wrong. We'll have our leading institutions in the self-supporting department lie. Something that you will replace.
And again, on your device handles twists, flips the switches.
 - How are you, my dear, - shakes his head - joints started. With only a year old the other stumbled, and bed for the rest of his long life painful. We'll have to put the titanium. In Germany, in a good clinic. Will then the boy jump.
Then he took out a calculator.
 - Let's calculate how much the total cost recovery.
 - Expensive, perhaps?
 - Yeah, no more than your car - he grins, and the zeros on the calculator multiplies.
I dress all think, how our medical service arrived. I once did a full examination, and at home. Also a doctor came and tried to persuade to buy all diseases fur pants and healing cap.
 - Examination for free, and for the treatment of you ... - the doctor rubbed his hands together.
But here in my pocket, my cheap Nokia squeaked.
 - Hey, Peter! - I pressed the button. - The car is waiting for you.
 - It's not your Bentley parked? - I surprised the doctor.
 - Master. The doctor, as treatment?
 - Healthy! - He grunted and turned off the machine.
 - Wait, you said that the last stage of alopecia is passed.
 - Pull the lower Cap - advised by the doctor and began to tear history.
 - And rattles in my throat ...
 - I do not drink cold beer.
 - Osteochondrosis torments.
 - In the garden at the weekend digging. - He threw pieces of paper in the ballot box.
 - Doctor, the heart of the fourth valve! ..
 - And you're his validolchikom, validolchikom.
 - Does not help.
 - Then valokordinchikom.
 - Well, at night in the toilet?
 - Sleeping pills accept.
 - Excess weight?
 - Guzzle have less and less.
I would have asked about the joints, but the window I see: the owner of a limousine suits. Lower cap pulled and ran. I do not run as much as hobble like this Aibolit and prophesied. So he caught up with me yet and have the machine itself.
 - Wait! What are you so fast! - He was out of breath, coat unbuttoned - had seen in the window as is your boss. Tell him he needs urgently to treat joints, spine and probably various other organs. Here is our card and do not tighten! Health more money.
We went to the boss grumbled that I was somewhere shlyayus and buried in the paper. And I'm sorry. In the world could train: Switzerland, France, Israel, Germany. Clutching I told him this card. Indeed. Why do all the good in the world should accrue to the rich.

© Andrey Makarov

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