And jokes Bashny.Net

The patient leaves after anesthesia.
 - Doctor, I have something I can not find my feet.
 - Do not worry, it's because we amputate your hands.

 - And what is it we Count Suvorov eats nothing?
 - So he's not breathing ...

"Hey buddy" - claps on the shoulder, the passenger a taxi driver.
The driver screams, loses control of the management, nearly crashed into the bus leaves on the sidewalk, stopped
inches from the huge windows.
Passenger - "Sorry, I did not think you are so scared.»
Driver - "You know the first day I drive a taxi before I drove a hearse ...»

Drunk man wakes up in a cemetery at night covered in dirt, etc. g # is, gets up, looks lanterns are lit and the cemetery caretaker sweeping the track. He decided to guard puganut:
 - Hey, urrrrrrrrfrrrfrfffr!
The guard turned and then sweeps. Drunk came close again as the zaoret him. The guard waved again and continues revenge. Drunk thinks:
 - Well, it'll go home.
Suitable to the fence of the cemetery, a leg lifted climbeth, then ka-a-ak will receive a pick on the head.
Caretaker:
 - You fool is a fool, and the fence, no, no! Wali back to the grave, and it dawns - scare people ...

"If abortion - is legalized murder, and blow - cannibalism, the use of condoms - legalized the establishment of concentration camps for the young with the total, followed by the destruction of the prisoners, not to mention the fact that the use of spermicidal lubricants - is a legal use of chemical weapons of mass destruction." < br />
A little girl walks into a pet shop. She smiles sweetly seller
and says:
 - I would like to buy a rabbit.
The seller is responsible:
 - Do you want to buy this little gray handsome with huge sad eyes or that furry white rabbit lazy?
The girl responds with a smile:
 - And I FSUs boa @ rd!

Dulbecco's egg. Egg - to duck.
Yes, fun met in surgery New Year

 - Dad, how to write in the book about the atrocities Gerasimos: "While he was served with the ladies, he sank 25 Mum, Mumey or minima»?
 - Yes, just write: "All the mummified river»!

No need to run away from the sniper, only die tired ...