If You're 60-75: Never Open Your Heart to These 7 Types of People
A mug of hot tea warms the palm of your hand, and a slice of lemon lies on the saucer - a habit that goes back to youth. At such moments, thoughts themselves lead to the past, and gradually a simple realization comes: not everyone should discover what is stored in the depths of their souls.
In youth, it seems that the more frankness, the closer people become to each other. You want to share both joys and troubles, because this is what brings you together. But with age, especially after sixty, you begin to understand the true value of the word spoken. To open the soul means to entrust the key to the most innermost things, and not everyone knows how to use this key carefully.
I have compiled a list of seven types of people with whom sharing personal things is more expensive for yourself. These are the takeaways from my experiences and the stories of those I have met along the way.
Seven "locks" on the soul
Always in a hurry
Neighbor Petrovich is a vivid example of this. As soon as you start a confidential conversation, he is already reaching for the phone or looking for where to run away. Heartfelt conversations with him turn into an empty formality. It is better to help such a person move the wardrobe than to open the heart. Your innermost for him is only a hindrance in his endless bustle.
Chatterboxes without brakes
I had a colleague, Gennady. Once I frankly told him about the problems in the family. And a week later, at a corporate party, he heard his story, retold with a grin. A word can hurt more painfully than a fist. Since then, I've learned that trusting those with boneless tongues is like digging a hole for yourself.
Eternal Mentors
We are sitting at our neighbor Zoya's, drinking tea. I said: "My son rarely calls, my heart is heavy." And she immediately said: "It's your own fault! It should have been done earlier like this, and not like that..." Such people do not listen, they redo. You open your soul, and at the end you get a long list of "how to live properly". It does not get easier, only more painful, as if they poked into old wounds again.
Collectors of other people's misfortunes
An old lady always sits near our entrance, who loves to collect other people's stories, especially sad ones. You tell her: "Yesterday my blood pressure rose, I barely got to the doctor," and a day later the whole yard was already discussing that "Andrei completely gave up." Telling such people about your own means giving yourself a reason for gossip and pity, which humiliates.
Old offenders
Sometimes fate brings you together again with those who once hurt. You think: years have passed, everything has been settled. But in fact, you only open the wound deeper. That was the case when I met my ex-wife five years after the divorce. He confessed to her in a café: "Sometimes, melancholy rolls in when you are alone." And she grinned: "I warned you: you can't do it alone." And the pain returned. With those who have already betrayed once, heartfelt conversations are not cured.
"Ego-centrists"
I have an acquaintance Sergey. I once complained to him: "I don't have the same strength anymore, it's hard to climb the stairs." And he answered: "What are you talking about! Yesterday I had a blood pressure of 200 over 120, I barely survived!" And then - twenty minutes only about myself. With him, any conversation turns into a monologue about his problems. You understand that you are simply not heard.
Profit seekers
In the village, I had an acquaintance Misha. He came to visit, ate my borscht, pretended to listen. And then it turned out: all this is needed to borrow money or ask for a ride. For him, an "open soul" is just a way to win over him. If there is no sincerity in the eyes, but only calculation, you should not trust.
Happy is the one who has found at least one listener to whom the truth can be told without fear.
The older you get, the more careful you are with your words. Relief comes only next to someone who knows how to listen, not to judge and not to retell. I've learned to keep my innermost things to myself, or to talk to only two or three people I truly trust. Next to them, you feel as if you are covered with a warm blanket - it becomes calm and warm, and not anxious and heavy.
If you have such a person, cherish him as the greatest treasure. At sixty or seventy, the soul is still the same as at twenty. She is looking for warmth. But not everyone should open it. It is better to have one real conversation than dozens of empty ones, after which you sit and think: "Why did I even say this?"