Crisis as a springboard: learning to see opportunities where others see a dead end

A familiar feeling, isn't it? The plan falls apart, the ground disappears from under your feet, and a sticky chill of anxiety spreads in your chest. The first reaction is always the same: find someone to blame. Or panic. It's normal, that's how we are made. But there's one nuance. While we are floundering in the feeling of "everything is lost," right next to us, literally within arm's reach, lies the key to a door that we simply don't notice. Let's talk about how to readjust our optics.

Change the lenses: "The Friend Method"

When you are inside the situation, it seems huge. It presses down. You look at the problem from the bottom up, like an ant at a boot. And, of course, you only see the blackness of the sole. To see opportunities, you need to get out of the body. Figuratively, of course.

Try a simple trick. Imagine that your best friend came to you with the same trouble. We are surprisingly wise and cold-blooded when it comes to others. What would you say to him? "It's all over, give up"? Hardly. You would say: "Listen, well, you got fired. But you've been wanting to change your field for a long time, and here life itself has pushed you. And there is severance pay. Let's think about where to throw the resume."

The view from the side removes emotional noise. It turns tragedy into a task. And suddenly it turns out that there are not zero options, but at least three. And one of them is even interesting.

Loser is not a diagnosis, but an experimental status

We have a bad habit of merging with our mistakes. The project failed - it means "I am a mediocrity". Late for a meeting - "I am an unorganized idiot". Do you feel the difference? We substitute the fact ("the project did not take off") with a characteristic of the personality ("I am bad").

This is a trap. As long as you consider yourself bad, you have no resource to fix the situation. You are busy self-flagellation, and this activity is energy-consuming and absolutely useless.

Try to treat life like a scientist in a laboratory. The test tube exploded? This does not mean that the scientist is bad. This means that the reagents are mixed in the wrong proportion. This is data. Valuable data. "Okay, it doesn't work that way. How will it work?". Separate yourself from the problem. The problem is just an event. You are the one who decides what to do with this event.

The art of pause and silence on the air

Haste is the main sponsor of wrong decisions. When an emergency happens, the brain screams: "Do something! Run! Scream! Save!". And we do. We call in a fit of temper, write angry letters, delete files. And in the morning we grab our heads.

Learn to take a pause. Want to yell? Wait ten minutes. Want to quit in one day? Sleep on it. The pause extinguishes the first fire of emotions. When the smoke clears, amazing things are often found on the ashes. Maybe the conflict with the client revealed holes in the contract that had long needed to be patched? Or did the car breakdown save you from participating in the most boring event?

And watch your language. Seriously. Words program reality. If you keep saying "this is a disaster," "I'm at a dead end," the brain obediently folds its paws. It is not looking for a way out, because the owner said: there is no way out. Replace "problem" with "situation". "Catastrophe" with "annoyance". Reduce the degree of pathos. It is much easier to cope with the "situation" than with the "end of the world".

Control zone: where are your hands?

There are things we cannot change. Exchange rate, weather, boss's mood, traffic jams. Banging your head against these walls is painful and pointless. But that's exactly what we often do - we spend tons of energy worrying about what is beyond our control.

In any incomprehensible situation, draw (at least mentally, at least on paper) a circle. Inside - what you influence right now. Outside - everything else.

• Outside: The flight was delayed by 4 hours.
• Inside: I can read a book. I can meet my neighbor. I can just get some sleep in an uncomfortable chair.

As soon as you return the focus to the "circle of influence", the panic recedes. There is a task. There is action. And where there is action - there are opportunities.

Environment matters

Perhaps the most unobvious, but powerful factor. Look who is next to you now. If your friends start wailing and looking for someone to blame at any difficulty, you have little chance of maintaining clarity of mind. Panic is contagious. Whining is toxic.

Look for those whose thinking is as flexible as a willow in the wind. People who say: "Wow, how interesting it turned out. And what are we going to do now?". Communication with them works like a tuning fork - you involuntarily begin to sound at the same frequency. The frequency of searching for solutions, not reasons for suffering.

Instead of conclusion

Seeing opportunities is not a gift that chosen ones are born with. This is a muscle. At first, it is weak, and you will have to strain yourself not to slide into the usual despondency. It will seem that you are deceiving yourself. But time after time, finding a small plus in a big trouble, you will become stronger. And one day you will notice that where others see a wall, you see a door. The handle, by the way, always turns in both directions.