Two stories)) Bashny.Net

In Tel Aviv mall "Dizzengoff" emergency happened, writes the weekly "Spark".
 In the middle of the trading day a man, dark-haired and came out with a suitcase in the center of the shop floor and drawl shouted "A-LL-A-AAA."
Accustomed to such top Israelis froze, and after re-rolling and even more "A-L-LAAAA!", Scattered in all directions, waiting for regularity in such cases, "Akbar!" And the inevitable explosion.
Security, showing heroism, still twisted unknown.
It turned out that the Russian, Armenian by origin, arrived in Israel as tourists with his wife Alla and lost it somewhere in the room.

Of a meeting of Putin and Bush.
The American president appeals to Russian:
 - Vladimir Vladimirovich help, we have an accident at the plant for the production of condoms, which, as you know, a national tragedy, just a natural disaster.
 Could you send us a couple of cars condoms otchechetsvennogo production, just to be sure they had an American flag and the length was 25 cm. & Quot;
 Here, I think, let them know these Russian our American boys.
 Putin promises to help, returned to Russia and orders - send to the states party of condoms, with the American flag, 25cm in length, and each write - made in Russia ... small size.