I'll kill you, Daddy! Bashny.Net

Written from the words of my friend's daughter:

I came to visit his dad to take custody of the apartment.
 Father left for three weeks on a business trip and was now trying to reload the contents of the refrigerator in my bag.
 - Take cheese. Look what a piece, natural cheese. Here otrezhesh and can be rubbed into the pasta - Papa knocked moldy piece of cheese on the table Kostroma.
 - I do not eat pasta, how many times you say.
 - That's good, eat with tea.
 I sighed and threw the cheese in a bag.
 - That's half the zucchini and two carrots.
 - Dad, I do not need the carrot and zucchini is not needed.
 - How is the zucchini is not needed? - Dad was surprised, - you eat vegetables? And it is almost a new tavern, I had bought two days ago.
 I sighed again:
 - Let your zucchini - and bag lay listless vegetable, having covered carrots on top.
 - Do not pick me three weeks will not be home, well this wealth disappear? If I were offered eggs, I think you would not pick much.
 - What empty talk, offer me the eggs.
Dad sad:
 - I ate caviar - and cowardly changed the subject - but the package with yogurt.
 - Dad! The package is opened, where you stuck it !? There my cosmetics! - It's okay to dry. Why are you in a grocery bag to drag makeup?
 - To date, it has not been the product - I was upset and began to take out of the bag their belongings. Most yogurt has resulted hopelessly soiled content.
 - The bones you give a dog.
 - I do not have a dog! - I desperately tried to save something on which there was no divorce kefir.
 - In the courtyard near the garbage you find the ball, only to see that the other dogs were not there. If there are, the stripping, they hurt Ball. And do not confuse it with Jack, they are the same litter, but Jack's face more brazen.
 And I'll put the onion, you see half remained, little podvyala, it is better to eat today.
 - I'm going to kill your dad.
 - Yes, a daughter and to love his father - did not listen to my dad - let's his personal belongings, I put them in a bag, and the bag will wash, then zaberesh. Products put into another bag.
 - Dad, what is this - I took the bag out of the refrigerator with whitish, like large grains of rice.
 - It's maggots.
 - What?!
 - Well, the larvae of which flies hatch, fishing. Do you need them?
 I shuddered, a bag fell from his hands and flew under the table.
 - And why would grab then? - Dad grumbled from under the table, taking their larvae - I'll give them a better neighbor.
 I washed my hands and began to gently rake out of the fridge the other convolutions:
 - And what's that?
 - I do not know - surprise Dad - smells.
 - Does not smell and stink. You have not been in the fridge Monty?
 - Who?
 - So, it was not - and with a mysterious package contents went in the trash.
 - But a bagel! - Dad showed me the ring meat, lightly sprinkle with poppy seeds and suddenly embarrassed - you do not think he does not bitten, I broke off a piece when it was soft. Put it on a pan razogreesh, with butter and then eat with coffee. Vkuuusno! - He rolled his eyes, and he thought silently, put a bagel in the package.
 Then he just "quietly" put his bag in the aged hunk, heels green with potatoes, and tried to pour a beer bottle in the old tea leaves.

Finally, we kissed each other in the hallway, I picked up the bag and tiptoed on the half-floor above. They opened the garbage disposal and turned away so as not to inhale the fetid fumes, stuffed bag in iron pipe.
 In musoropriemnike thundered, bag burst and collapsed with a crash down its contents.

Suddenly, in the lock our door turned the key, and Dad went to the site.
 - What are you doing there? I lost? Well, what else is gone, you forgot a package of food. And he took his makeup?

Author Michael.
HERE