Funny jokes

Psychiatrist wakes up call at four o'clock in the morning.
 - Doctor, how much is a home visit?
 - $ 50.
 - A reception in the office?
 - $ 25.
 - Then you wait half an hour in the office.

Single tooth in the mouth is good in that it can be cleaned from all sides.

 - What is the beginning of the working day?
 - This is when the red ICQ turn green!

 - Bought vaunted German juicer, and it broke.
 - A lot of juice squeezed you?
 - Yes, a little bit of apple and orange, and already she was covered birch.

In Peskosypsk where yesterday there was an explosion at the candy factory, flew the plane
Emergency Situations Ministry with rescuers. It is estimated that still sticky
are about 800 people.

 - Where are you going, the country?
 - I'm going on quietly ...
 - On the job? On teaching?
 - Just for, without specifying.

 - And you che so sad?
 - Yes pinned friends, the girl gave a rubber ...
 - Women.
 - The fact of the matter is that girl!

Two blondes talk:
 - I recently some heaviness in the abdomen, vomiting constantly.
 - Are you a doctor was?
 - It was, said another eight months to suffer will come!

The first cops in Russia was Nightingale the Robber.
He sat beside the road, whistling and robbed.

Please send me a course higher wages.

Three priests - Christian, Muslim and Jew became the roadside with a sign and decided to show it to everyone passing drivers. The inscription on the poster reads:
 - The end is near! Change your way until it's too late!
 - Leave us alone, religious fanatics! - Shouted the first driver and added speed.
His car disappeared around the corner, and a few seconds later there was a loud splash.
 - What do you think - said one priest to another - can we just write "MOST broken"?


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