Insufficient Bashny.Net

She is very beautiful. Men catch up with her and try to appear smarter and interesting. But she knows about the crease on my stomach and cellulite on the priest ("if here and so to stand, I can see"), and therefore men's attention every time is puzzling. And the fear that they will realize that she's not really beautiful.

She has several degrees, a prestigious job and big salary. It appreciates the leadership and is constantly talking about it. But it is not a pleasure, is that a little bit. She is afraid that once they realize she isn't as smart and professional as they think.



It is filled with compliments, paying attention to her, but her pleasure for a split second, and then again fear: suddenly expose them? Suddenly they see that she's normal, average, ordinary, and unworthy of such attention? And they are disappointed, they just get disappointed, and then there will be nothing, no compliments, no admiration, no love.

She understands that her friends are so clever, so bright, all the "stars", well, what they found in it? She knows that she's not. She is the most normal and "nothing" itself is not.

She can dozens of people to tell how good it is. She won't believe. She can say: "Look at reality, you can do one, two, three. You have a huge experience in four, five, six. You've reached seven, eight, nine, fifteen, one hundred and twenty-five!". She'll say, "Well, what's in it".

She does not enjoy the attention, can not enjoy the achievements. Well, that is yesterday, twenty people she told that she is beautiful. Today again she's not attractive enough. So what, yesterday, she defended her doctoral. Today again she wasn't smart enough.

Not enough. It is always "insufficient". You can be better. Prettier, smarter, more successful. But no matter how she tried — it resembles a Sisyphean task. No matter how high she threw a stone today — tomorrow she's back at the bottom of the mountain again "insufficient."

A scene from the movie "the Devil wears Prada"

What to do, you ask? You know, it will not be enough useful article, not a prescription.

Because there is no recipe for how to detect that voice that says all: "so what? This is not enough nothing in it." No prescription, how to feel the fatigue and sadness from the fact that well it is impossible to recognize from their victories, nothing is impossible thoroughly to enjoy and something to be proud of.

No prescription how to get angry and say, "I don't want to meet these crazy, unrealistic demands!".

There is no recipe for how to acknowledge that someone may be disappointed, but I won't die from this, although it may be painful.

 



Why it is not always necessary to share their joy with othersdon't be Less than you Can be , No answer from me, how to start to notice and appreciate what is, it turns out that achieved and experienced. How to recognize your limitations, your generality, his shame and his weakness. As with the fear to start to show their imperfection to people.

I mean, I know that all this can happen in the process of psychotherapy, in the process of learning and prissavania yourself. Other ways I do not know personally (does not mean that they are not). But this path is long, painful and expensive. But at some point along the way, you can meet ourselves as imperfect, but sufficient. And even with the warmth of the look. And this is a very touching meeting. published

 

Author: Catherine Bajdek

 



Source: katya-boydek.livejournal.com/10818.html