To be one Bashny.Net

One day a year and a half I was alone. In the age of a lot. And for girls older than twenty-five – and all "indecent". Everyone who has experienced a long-term relationship (in my case eight years), I understand: it's like the time to lose half of yourself. Sometimes best.

Because you just don't remember what it's like to be one. And what you do is yours, not "marital property". These words, gestures, facial expressions, intonation is yours or from men? Maybe it is all "common," and at parting it better to leave somewhere in a dusty corner in an old apartment that is not reminded and tortured?

The first days after a breakup you're driving a full-flowing river of Amazon, salt drowns in despair, drags the face face on the bottom. And one other night you pass all its cool rapids, mostly painful to feel your fingers the bottom of his loneliness and make a start.

Words no longer touch.

People stop to touch it.

Before seemed so big and important is the size of my thumbnail.



When I was alone, I had to learn to walk again – for example, in a cafe, where singles designed is that the bar. I'm not talking about any kind of social events: to be without a date is bad form. But all this is nothing compared to the humiliation of once again being whorey in the number of those who actively pull from the table to catch the bride's bouquet at the wedding. One thing not to know what his to catch. The other – once hehas quit.

And at the same time, when I was alone, I had to learn and bunch of other things – absolutely amazing. For example, to remember what it feels like to belong only to herself, to go wherever and whenever you want, whatever too late to return home, to consider home the place where I woke up.

Do not cook if there is no desire. Again start to buy with each paycheck dress. To get involved in adventures, to get out of them unscathed. Do not harm others. To turn his head around, noticing someone else's beauty, not to turn away in a fit of anguish from those who are in love and happy.

To rediscover the value of friendship – the same, when someone flashes for you "hazard" to the night and helping to transport a cat, ficus, books and boxes. (I don't have a clue of how compact it may be your life.)

I learned to rely only on themselves, no one did not wait, take nothing for granted. I may not be very well imagined what you want, but gradually better and more clearly aware of what I don't need. And in relationships including. I'm not scared of the prospect of remaining an old maid – for me it was much worse not to be able to earn enough to provide yourself a treat, never anything from anyone not ask. In the two years that I was alone, I moved up the ladder more than in the previous five years, and six times increased its market value as a professional.

Perhaps it was a healthy anger in a healthy and the other revenge himself for the indecision and the stupid fear of "what will people say." Because people didn't say anything. In my opinion, they were just still. And who will care in a world where the threshold for bad news of other people's lives is so high that you stumble, what will?

...When I was single, I ate pizza in a half-empty café, walking through shrouded in mist year-old two-storey buildings. A lot of work. Saw no limit between days. My biggest sexual fantasy was. Leaving in the evening from office, I would take a deep breath and caught myself thinking that I do not remember. Periodically, my name and who I am, but mostly about what happened before this moment.

If I regret anything from that time? No. Because I understand that anything like that may never happen again. And if this were not so, I would have never learned to feel the loneliness of others, to understand him, to respect, to be able accurately to divide and leave, not much leave a single footprint in the hallway and turning off the lights so as not to disturb the one who stayed.

"...The universe is wise and kind to me. Therefore, even if all now goes

badly, only to then, in the spring,

become out of hand good. Because..." published

Author: Olga Primachenko P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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Source: gnezdo.by/blog/be-alone/