She divorced me because I left the dishes next to the sink Bashny.Net

If that's the way to phrase it — "wife left me because I sometimes leave dirty dishes near the sink" — you sound really stupid. It seems that it is a complete idiot, and I'm just a victim of female whims.

We love to look for excuses when trying to understand why something went wrong.

It all went wrong because, so and so, but not because I did something wrong!

Sometimes I left the glasses near the sink in the kitchen, literally a few inches from the dishwasher. I like it and it doesn't matter and it didn't matter when I was married. But to her it meant a lot.

Every time she entered the kitchen and saw a glass at the sink, she became even by a hair closer to to move out and file for divorce. I just didn't know it. But even if I did, I'm afraid I wouldn't be trying to change with the same fervor with which wish she lived in my opinion.

The expression is "to spite mom frostbitten ears" — just about such cases.





Men are not children, though sometimes so conduct themselves

The respect of other men is important.

Respect his own wife — at all important to the life was full of meaning. Maybe I thought that his wife would respect me just because I exchanged with her rings. It definitely wouldn't be the first time in my life when I took things for granted. One thing I do know: I never saw the entire dishes in the dishwasher in order to earn the respect of his wife.

Remember how she often talked about how exhausting it is constantly the need to tell me what to do. Generally the most sexy that can tell a man his wife is "I got this" and then do what you need.

I have always reasoned like this: "You tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it."

But she didn't want to be my mother. She wanted to be my partner and wanted me to put his entire mind to the logistics of our life and home improvement. She wanted me to get on with what needs to be done, and developed its own approach to solving problems.

Now I'd like to remember why it seemed like the foolish.

Men can do business

Men had invented heavy machinery, safe and reliable flying through the air. Men proved heliocentricity the Solar system and that the earth revolves around the sun. Men design and build skyscrapers, take out the hearts and other organs from the dead to replace the corresponding diseased organs from the living, and then those still alive and survive. It is generally inconceivable, to be honest.

In General, men know how to do business.

And men absolutely able to do many of the same that complain about their wives. That's just to read minds, we do not know and cannot accurately predict what our wives think on different occasions, because the male and female emotional responses are often quite different.

"Matt! And why would you leave a glass by the sink and not put it in the dishwasher?"

There are several reasons.

I do not care whether the glass by the sink if I wasn't expecting.

I always will not care whether there is at the sink glass. Always. Hope that I will do is like asking me to become interested in knitting or garden. I don't want to knit. And it's hard for me to imagine a situation in which gardening I find more attractive than a thousand less boring Affairs.

There's only ONE reason why I can stop to leave a glass by the sink. This lesson I learned too late: "Because I love and respect my wife, and she's VERY important."

This means that I understand that when I leave that glass there, it makes her hurt — really hurt — because for her it's as if I said, "you Know, I don't respect, appreciate your thoughts and opinion, and four seconds that it will take to put the glass in the dishwasher, I'm more important than you".

And it turns out that it's not about such simple and meaningless things like dirty dishes. Talking about the important act of love and sacrifice, and to be honest — four seconds? This is a little bit when we are talking about a man who daily sacrifice to me.

I don't need to understand WHY it is so important that stupid glass.

I just have to understand and respect the fact that she is important.

Then "love for her" would mean "to put the glass in the dishwasher". Or "clean linen from the floor". Or "not to dirty the floor, which she had bothered to wipe". Or "to take care of all the children's things so she could relax a little and not worry about anything."

It means — "Baby, what me to do today, what to buy on your way home, make things easier for you?". And another million little things that say "I love you" louder than these words.

Yes, it's so simple

The man who is able to change their behaviour — even when he doesn't understand a woman or agree with her way of thinking — get a great relationship.

Men want to fight for their right to leave the glass anywhere. It sounds like this.

"Fuck you, wife, we think. — I constantly something for you sacrifice, and you nag me for ONE glass next to the sink? The damn glass to put in the dishwasher a few seconds, and I'll gladly do that as soon as I won't need him again. What is so important to you that you are eating baldness? Want to ruin a peaceful evening, quarrel with me and say that I do everything wrong and not your way, and all because of a Cup? After everything I do for us all that no "thank you" are not getting (not asking), you pull the glass near the sink to the rank of the main problems in our marriage? I would never stoop to such pettiness! And here all spit on the stone. If you want the Cup was in the dishwasher, you put it there. I'll put him in there when guests arrive or when he will no longer need me. On an empty place you fight, and it is here that I won't lose".

A man does NOT want to divorce his wife because of her whining about the glass that he believes is purely irrational. He wants her to agree with him that globally the glass near the sink that nobody sees, and with whom to deal — a matter of four seconds, no problem. She needs to understand how it is petty and pointless in the great maelstrom of life, he thinks, and expects her to agree with him.

But she did not agree, because for her it's NOT about the glass. Glass, glass, the main thing here — the situation in which she feels that her husband does not appreciate and does not respect.

Wife does not want to divorce her husband just because he leaves dirty glasses by the sink.

She wants to divorce because he thinks that he does not respect and appreciate, and it means not love, and so she cannot rely on him as your partner for life. She can't trust him. Her with it is unsafe. And that means she needs to leave and find another, with whom happiness and reliability.

Theoretically, the man is a conflict because thinks he's right (and I agree): dirty glass is far less important than peace in the family.

If his wife thought the same and felt like it, he would have been right defensively. Unfortunately, most guys don't know she's fighting not because of the glass. She is looking for recognition, respect and love.





If a man KNEW if he fully understood the secret that she could never explain to him so that he didn't seem so crazy (which is why he cast her explanation as vague sentiment), and realized that the situation with the glass and other such disputes in the end will ruin his marriage, I believe he would just think about what is worth fighting for, and what is not, and probably would do that, maybe and do not understand, only to make his wife feel loved.

I think that in a lot of cases, wives will disagree with me. They don't think their husbands don't understand how the "glasses" are destroying marriage because wives talk to husbands over and over again, sometimes with tears, how they hurt bad.

And that's the important thing: if you tell a man something, it seems pointless, once or a million times, he will not understand. Right or wrong, but if the situation was Vice versa, it wouldn't have hurt, so he believes that his wife should not be hurt.

"I'm not upset when you do something that I don't like!" — talk men like their wives are INTENTIONALLY doing poorly.

When you love someone, you feel happy to do something that improves this man's life and brings you closer together.

And it doesn't sound so: "Damn, again I have to do this crap for a wife." It sounds like: "I am grateful that I have another opportunity to show my wife that it is important for me, and that she can count on me, that she didn't need to look for happiness somewhere else."

Once you know how to help the man to understand that the situation with the Cup (which he was not emotionally touched and will never touch it) is DEEPLY hurting his wife and making her miserable, lonely, unloved, abandoned and not respecting, as soon as a man truly understand this and take, although it is strange...

... Then things will change and change forever. published

Author: Matthew Frey

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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Source: www.matrony.ru/ona-razvelas-so-mnoy-potomu-chto-ya-ostavlyal-posudu-vozle-rakovinyi/